Blood runs hot
by LaCinderel
Summary: A star athlete is charged with murder in a case that seems to be a slam-dunk for the prosecutor. But in Chicago, court cases aren't always as clear as they seem. The athlete's lawyer, Alicia Florrick, enlists the help of Long Island therapist to the stars, Dr. Dani Santino, in an effort to get clarity on what drove the athlete to murder.
1. Chapter 1

_Prologue: two months ago_

His head was pounding and his eyes wouldn't open right away. It was almost too much for him to lift up his hand and rub it over his face, but there was something sticky on it and he needed it off his skin. Had he fallen asleep in his own vomit again? That wouldn't be the first time. And the foul stench hanging in the air around him seemed to suggest something like that. Must have been some party last night… He had been no stranger to hangovers lately, but this must be the mother of them all. He grunted and wiped his hand over his face, wincing when the ache in his head grew almost unbearable. The stench was on his hand, too. It almost made him puke again, but he managed to keep it down.

When he finally opened his eyes, the first thing that he saw was the palm of his hand. There were brownish smears on it. What the fuck had he done? Puke on himself and then shit himself or something? But the smears didn't look like shit or vomit. They looked more like… He swallowed against his hurling stomach again as the question presented itself once more, with more urgency this time. What the fuck had he done?

He sat up as slowly as he could in an attempt to keep his headache at an almost bearable level and tried to focus on the room he was in. The first thing he noticed was that it was spinning around him, and at a nauseating speed too. He closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, trying to ignore the smell. When he opened his eyes again, the spinning had stopped. But the sight that greeted him was even more nauseating.

He dropped his head forward and vomited on the black marble floor he was sitting on. Then he clenched his eyes shut, unwilling to take another look at what he'd just seen. But closing his eyes turned out to be no use, because the image was there in his mind anyway, like one of those photographs they sometimes showed on the Discovery Channel.

Blond curls, caked with blood, hanging over the side of the tub. The usually impeccable white of the wall behind the tub spattered with blood. A dangling arm, nearly touching the floor.

"A-Amy?" His voice voice came out a hoarse whisper.

A door opened and closed somewhere in the penthouse and the little beeps of his alarm system being shut off pierced through his head, making him grab it and groan as the pounding worsened. Purposeful footsteps headed into the living area… And then stopped as a woman gasped.

Irina.

"Mr. Farris?" His cleaning woman called out. Then he heard her mutter something in Russian, the language she fell back on whenever she was agitated. "Mr. Farris?"

Her voice was trembling now, and suddenly the horrible idea hit him that the rest of the penthouse would look exactly like the bathroom. What the fuck had he done last night? He needed to know. Because he sure as hell didn't remember. He put his hands on the floor and started pulling his knees up so he could try to stand up, but his hand landed on something cold and hard lying on the floor and he knew what it was before looking down at it.

A gun. He picked it up, stared at it. His gun. He turned it over in his hands, trying to understand why it was on the bathroom floor instead of in the gun safe under his bed. Trying to deny that he could have taken it out and… But the time for denial was over, he knew when he smelled the barrel of the gun. He lost the strength in his hands and the weapon dropped to the floor with a loud thunk as the truth hit him.

He had finally done what he'd feared he would do some day.

Irina must have heard the gun land on the floor, because she called his name again and her footsteps came towards him now. Fast. She'd find him here. She'd find Amy. She'd see. She'd know.

He hid his face in his hands, his body starting to shake uncontrollably.

"Mr. Farris?" The door opened. "Are you…" Irina's voice was cut off by her sharp intake of breath. An eternal silence seemed to stretch out between them as he looked up and saw her horrified face taking in the scene. Then she started screaming.

Ryan Farris started crying.

* * *

 **A/N: Welcome to my new fic… Don't worry, familiar characters will start showing up soon.**

 **This is a crossover fic, which is new to me. But it is also a great opportunity to bring two of my favorite shows together. This fic is for The Good Wife and Necessary Roughness. For those of you who haven't watched both shows, let me include their IMDB blurbs here:**

 **Necessary Roughness (NR):** _A Long Island psychotherapist's personal life unravels when she finds her husband cheating. Diving fully into her work, Dr. Dani Santino soon finds herself as the most sought-after therapist for high-profile clients. Athletes, entertainers, politicians, and others living in the spotlight clamor for her unique brand of tough love therapy during their moments of crisis. Although her career is reenergized, it wreaks havoc on her life as a newly minted single mom of two teenagers._

 **The Good Wife (TGW):** _Alicia has been a good wife to her husband, a former state's attorney. After a very humiliating sex and corruption scandal, he is behind bars. She must now provide for her family and returns to work as a litigator in a law firm._

 **I thought it would be a nice experiment to bring these two strong women together. Of course, they will be joined by the men I ship them with. What's a fanfic without romance, right?**

 **Although this story is inspired by these shows, it is meant to be a stand alone fic. It will not incorporate any of the events we've seen on the shows (at least not in detail), because that would make things way too complicated for me.**

 **The timeline for this story:**

 _NR was cancelled in 2013, and this story is set two years after the final episode._

 _TGW is still running, but I am going to ignore season 7, which hasn't even started yet as I write this. At the same time, I would like for you to assume that this story is set two years after the final scene of season 6. I know that doesn't add up since 6x22 aired in May 2015, but I have chosen to ignore the math for the sake of convenience and, much more important, plotting. I needed a two year gap for reasons that will become clear later._

 **Okay, I think I have now said everything I needed to say for now… Please feel free to ask questions and/or share your thoughts on this project.**

 **I hope all of you who I've met on this site or on Twitter, whether you are an NR fan or a TGW fan, will join me on this new journey. And I hope you will grow to love the unfamiliar-to-you characters as much as I have grown to love them. But if not, then rest assured that I will also keep writing separate stories for both shows in the future.**


	2. Chapter 2

Alicia Florrick resisted the urge to punch the nearest reporter in the face, but only barely. She was standing on top of the courthouse steps after just having won an important case, proving that the banker she'd been defending had in fact not committed the fraud he'd been accused of. But of course, the only case the pack of hyenas crowding the steps was interested in was that other big case she'd taken on. Ryan Farris. Never mind that he wouldn't appear in court for another month, and was innocent until proven guilty, the media were out for blood. After all, it wasn't every day that the star pitcher of the Chicago Cougars was accused of killing his wife.

"No comment," she said, pasting a bland expression on her face. The reporter had asked her how she would explain the fact that the alarm system in Farris' penthouse had been activated at the time his wife had been killed, effectively ruling out the possibility of a third person being there with them. It was a question she couldn't even comment on, even if she had wanted to. She didn't know.

Ryan Farris hadn't said anything since the moment, two months ago, when the police had read him his rights and he had confirmed that he understood them. The man had literally said nothing after that. Not one single word. It was almost as if he agreed with the police and the media and just about everyone else out there that the evidence spoke loud enough.

Of course, the evidence did speak very loud. It was almost yelling, in fact. But it spoke _against_ him. The drugs in his blood. The blood on his hands. The alarm system. And of course, the fingerprints on the recently fired gun that had been lying there right next to him. The bullets that had killed Amy Farris had come from that gun. Farris didn't seem to care about all that, however. He just stared off into space whenever he was being interrogated by the police or in meetings with his lawyer. It was driving Alicia nuts. How was she supposed to build a defense around silence?

Alicia started making her way down the stairs, pushing through the crowd as they kept pushing microphones and cameras in her face. She told them the same thing every time they asked her about the Farris case, "No comment." By the time she'd made it all the way down, she was ready to start smashing their expensive equipment into pieces and yell at them to leave her alone already. But of course she didn't do any of that. She just held her head high like she always did, cloaked herself in an air of indifference and strode to the entrance of the underground parking garage across the street.

She stepped into the elevator, releasing a sigh when the closing doors finally separated her from the reporters, relishing the sudden silence that was only interrupted by the monotonous hum of the elevator car making its way down.

Just when Alicia reached the floor where she'd parked her car, the silence was torn apart by her phone chiming from her purse. She was tempted to just let the call go to voicemail, since it was probably just another reporter. But she'd been waiting for an important call, so she sighed and dug up the phone. A small smile came on her face when she saw the caller ID.

"Hi, John," she said, sounding tired even to her own ears.

"Hey, congrats on the win," John Elfman replied. "It was just on the news."

"Really? So the vultures were paying attention to my original statement?"

"Yeah. You look good, by the way. Very… professional."

Alicia's stomach fluttered at the way he lowered his voice and the pause in his sentence, that made her wonder what he had actually wanted to say instead of _professional_. "Thanks," she said.

"So anyway, I was thinking we could, you know, go celebrate? Tonight? Dinner, maybe?" He paused, but when she didn't say anything, he continued, "Or I could just come over…"

"John…" She held back a sigh. "I can't. I'm busy tonight." She wasn't, not unless taking a long hot bath counted as being busy. But she needed to create some distance between them again. What they had going on ever since he'd returned to Chicago four months ago was just a fling. She'd been clear about that from the beginning. But he kept trying to make it… more. And that would be a bad idea, she knew.

Just like it had been a bad idea for them to have a one-night stand two years ago, when John was still her campaign manager and she was still very much married to the Governor of Illinois. Whose name she'd kept after the divorce, simply for practical reasons — her clients, the media, the judges, everyone she dealt with in her professional life, knew her under that name. But the name was also a guarantee for constant scrutiny, especially now that Peter was trying to get re-elected. His ex-wife being involved with the man who managed the campaign for his opponent… Well, that was a recipe for disaster.

"Working on the Farris case?" John asked, his voice pulling her back into the conversation.

"Yes. I have a psychotherapist coming in from New York tomorrow morning. I need to prepare the case files for that meeting." He didn't need to know that the files she was referring to had already been sorted out and were waiting for Doctor Santino on Alicia's desk.

"I see. Well, maybe some other time then." The upbeat tone of his voice didn't ring completely true.

"John…" Alicia closed her eyes and leaned against her car, knowing that she shouldn't cave. She really didn't want to get his hopes up. It would be unfair. But the sex was just so good… "Why don't you come over tomorrow night?"

"I don't know, Alicia. Maybe we should just…" His voice trailed off and there was a brief moment of silence. Then she heard him release a sigh. "Whatever. Sure, I'll come over tomorrow."

"Good. I can't wait," Alicia said. They said goodbye, and as she broke the connection and put the phone back in her purse, she couldn't help but feeling relieved that he hadn't told her to go to hell. She wished she could feel the same for him as she knew he did for her. But falling in love had never brought her anything good, so she avoided it like the plague these days. She'd dated on and off since her divorce, now fifteen months ago. But whenever a man tried to get too close, too intimate, she was quick to break it off. She had needs, just like every other woman, but a committed relationship wasn't one of them. What she had with John was perfect, simply because she knew he wouldn't stay here indefinitely. After this campaign, he'd up and leave town again.

All she needed to do was make sure that she didn't fall for him before that day came. She could do that. Alicia nodded firmly to confirm that thought and got her car keys out. Time to go home.

§§§

Danielle Santino put down the phone with a relieved sigh. She'd been on it all afternoon, reassuring clients that they would be in great hands with Doctor Rosenberg in Dani's absence. Some had believed her right away, others had needed more convincing, but she'd managed to put them all at ease. Now there were just a few things left on her to do list for today, one of which was packing. She really wanted get that done before dinner, so she would have the rest of the evening to do more enjoyable things.

She startled when she heard tires squeal just outside, accompanied by the pumping rhythm of some hiphop song that was suddenly cut off as the car came to a stop. When a car door slammed shut, she uttered another sigh. That could only be one person. She got up from behind her desk and walked to the outside door of her home office, pulling it open just when the silhouette of a broad shouldered man came into sight.

"Doctor D! You know you can't leave, right?" Terrence King, aka TK, famous wide receiver of the New Jersey Bobcats, pushed right by her like he owned this place.

"Good evening, Terrence. Why don't you come in? Even though I don't remember us having an appointment…" Dani bit back a smile as she rolled her eyes. Then she schooled her features into a stern expression, closed the door and turned to face him. He had sat down at his usual spot on the flowery sofa and was giving her a belligerent look.

"This is an emergency," he declared. "You forgot something."

"Really?" Dani tried to keep the amusement out of her voice as she sat down in one of the chairs facing the couch, her usual spot. She crossed her legs and put her arms on the armrests. "And what might that be?"

"We're playing the Hawks in three days." TK looked at her as if that explained everything.

"And?"

"And I'm experiencing massive… What's it called… Performance anxiety." He nodded once, firmly. "Yeah. Performance anxiety. Because it's such an important game. And it's against my old team and all that. That really puts the pressure on. You know?" He looked at her expectantly.

"Performance anxiety? Really? Is that the best emergency you can come up with after five years of therapy?" Dani raised her eyebrow, trying not to burst into laughter when she saw his baffled expression at her reply.

"You making fun of my anxiety, Doctor D?" He threw her a wounded look.

"No, Terrence, you know I would never do that. What I'm making fun of, is your acting abilities." She smiled. "Come on, why don't you tell me what's really going on?"

"I just told you!"

"Well, in that case, I don't see the problem." Dani held up her finger when he would have protested. "You see, it just so happens that Doctor Rosenberg has specialized in performance anxiety, among other things. She will get you on top of your game before you can say Superbowl."

He jumped up and started pacing. "But, Doc, you know I don't do well with other therapists, and…"

"TK." She cut him off in a firm voice. She got up and went to stand in front of him, putting a hand on his arm. He towered over her 5'5", and she had to lean her head back to be able to look him in the eye. She let her own gaze soften and smiled at him. "You'll be fine. I've been away before, and you were always fine. This time will be no different."

He sighed heavily. "Well, if you say so… But you better not get yourself killed, you hear?"

That's what he was worried about? Dani shook her head, smiling. "Terrence… The man is in jail. There will be bars between us, and armed guards and what not. He won't come anywhere near me. Okay?" She waited till he nodded. "Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a suitcase to pack and an early flight to catch tomorrow." She gently walked him to the door. "I'll be back before you know it. Don't worry about me," she said when he opened the door and stepped out.

"Me? Worried about you? Nah…" TK gave her a mischievous grin. "I'm just worried I'll get stuck with a therapist called Rosebud. What kind of name is that, anyway?" He shook his head, the grin fading. "I'm just messing with you, Doctor D. Seriously… Be careful, okay?"

"I will. Thanks, TK," Dani said. "And her name is Rosenberg, not Rosebud."

"I know that! Like I said, I was just messing with you, girl! Don't you ever listen? Psh, some therapist you are…" Laughing, he turned and walked towards the corner of the house, giving her a casual wave.

"Good night, Terrence!" Dani called out after him, shaking her head in amusement. She closed and locked the door.

"What was that about?" The unexpected voice, coming from behind her, made her jump.

"Geez! Nico!" She turned and narrowed her eyes at Nico Careles, the darkly handsome man dressed in equally dark clothes leaning casually against the doorframe of the door connecting her office to the rest of her home. He had his hands in the pockets of his long black coat. Dani put her own hands hands on her hips. "You freak me out like that one more time and I'll take away your key!" She inwardly rolled her eyes. They'd met five years ago, and they'd been together for nearly two years now. You'd think she'd gotten used to his freaky navy Seal skills by now…

He smirked, his hazel eyes teasing. "You know that won't stop me from entering your house."

"Yeah? Well, I guess I'll just have to get a big, scary dog then. Have it chase you off when you try to pick the lock…" She walked up to him, slid her arms around his neck and went up on tiptoe to kiss him. "I thought you were working late tonight?"

"Xeno can handle things on his own for a couple of hours," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "So, what was TK doing here?"

"Trying to keep me from getting myself killed in Chicago."

"Hmm… Can't blame him for that," Nico murmured, leaning in for another kiss. "I would hate you getting yourself killed too."

"Really?" She pulled back, putting her hands on his chest and giving him a mock stern look. "Then maybe you should stop trying to give me a heart attack by sneaking up on me all the time."

"I wasn't sneaking up on you, you were just too busy to notice me."

"You say tomato…" She swatted him in the chest. "Now get out of my way. I have to do some serious packing."

"Need help?" His eyes dropped to the plunging neckline of the royal blue tank top she was wearing. She felt his hands slide down her back, on their way to her butt, but she took a step back before they could reach their destination.

"I said packing, not _un_ packing," she told him, right before turning around and sashaying towards the stairs, making sure to put some extra sway in her hips. Looking back, she smiled saucily. "Although on second thought..." She waited until he passed the kitchen doorway, on his way to her, before continuing, "...You can get dinner started."

His eyes took on an almost devilish gleam as he gave her a slow once-over. "I'd rather skip right to dessert." He lunged at her, arms outstretched, and Dani turned and ran up the stairs, laughing.

She was still smiling when she walked into her bedroom. She really loved this playful side of him, that had only started to really come out when they had first gotten together two years ago. Before that, she'd only seen glimpses of it behind the tough, closed-off mystery man image he'd cultivated over the course of his career, first as a Navy Seal and then as an operative for whatever alphabet agency he'd worked for before he became the chief of security for the New York Hawks and his life path crossed hers.

She caught sight of the jacket he'd worn yesterday, lying on the floor by the chair at the foot end of the bed. He'd left it hanging on the back of the chair when he left for work this morning, but it must have fallen off. She walked over to pick it up. As she did so, something fell out of the pocket, and her brow furrowed when she bent to pick it up, her heart suddenly racing.

"Oh, God," she whispered as she stared at the item in her hand, slowly turning it over. It was a small, square box. Navy blue velvet covered it. The name of a well-known jeweler was stamped on the lid in curly silver letters. There could be earrings in it. Or… not. Dani took a deep breath, dropped the jacket on the chair and opened the box.

Not earrings.

Hands shaking, eyes wide, Dani quickly put the lid back on, grabbed the jacket and put the box back in, hoping she'd chosen the right pocket. Then she put the jacket over the back of the chair again and walked to the wardrobe. Over the next ten minutes she walked back and forth between the closet and her bed, piling clothes and shoes onto the bed without even looking at them. Then she got out her suitcase and stuffed the pile in. She managed to wrestle the suitcase shut and sank down on the bed next to it, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth. She eyed the jacket on the chair like it was a snake ready to uncoil and attack, and tried to figure out what to think, what to feel.

She was still sitting there when Nico called from downstairs another fifteen minutes later, telling her that dinner was ready.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Welcome new readers, thank you for giving this story a chance, even though it's different from my usual stuff! I love reading your thoughts :)**

* * *

"Alex, it's Alicia Florrick. I've been waiting for your call about the Farris case. Could you call me back as soon as you get this? Thanks." Alicia left her number on Alex Grisham's voicemail and put down her phone, frowning. The freelance investigator had come highly recommended by one of the lawyers in her professional network, but so far he hadn't proved to be very reliable. He'd told her he'd give her daily updates on his progress on his investigation of the Farris case, and then he'd vanished. She hadn't been able to reach him in two days. The last she'd heard from him was that he was going to look into Amy Farris' background.

Getting up from her desk chair, she looked out the window at the light drizzle falling from the leaden sky. Her gaze landed on a woman walking across the parking lot in front of the building. She was wearing a green dress that looked an awful lot like a sun dress, and Alicia shook her head in sympathy. It was only late September, but the chilly wind made it feel more like early November this morning. Judging by the way she hunched her shoulders, the woman felt cold despite the brown jacket she had on.

Alicia watched until the woman disappeared around the corner of the building. Then she looked at the clock. Ten fifty. She sighed, hoping Doctor Santino would show up soon. The therapist had called from the airport an hour ago to say that she'd be a little later. Some kid apparently threw up over the Doctor's clothes on the plane and she wanted to go to her hotel and change first.

Deciding she might as well answer some emails while she waited, Alicia sat down again. She had only just opened her email browser when the intercom on her desk buzzed. Alicia pressed the button. "Yes, Stacey?"

"Doctor Santino is here," her secretary said.

"Thanks, could you send her right in?" Alicia leaned back and straightened the stack of file folders on her desk as she waited for the doctor to make it upstairs from the reception area.

The purposeful clicking of high heels coming down the hall, followed by a light knock on her office door, announced Doctor Santino's arrival, and Alicia told her to come in. Then she just stared as the door opened and the woman she'd seen on the parking lot came walking into her office with a warm smile on her face.

 _This_ was the renowned therapist? Of course she knew how deceiving looks could be, so she tried not to judge anyone by what they looked like, but this was unexpected, to say the least.

The green dress really was a sun dress, barely reaching the knees of the short brunette. Her brown suede jacket was hanging open, so it couldn't conceal the fact that the neckline of the dress dipped a bit too low to be considered entirely decent, although Alicia had seen worse. Still, the woman couldn't really believe this was appropriate attire for a meeting with a lawyer, let alone a trip to prison, could she? And what was with those shoes? The heels must be at least five inches high...

"Hi. Are you Alicia Florrick?" Perfectly plucked eyebrows arched above eyes that looked like molten dark chocolate as the woman cocked her head to the side.

Alicia remembered her manners. "Yes. You must be Doctor Santino. Nice to meet you." They shook hands. "Please have a seat."

"Thank you, and please, call me Dani." The therapist sat down on one of the chairs in front of Alicia's desk, crossed one leg over the other and shivered. "Well, I guess I now know why they call this the windy city." She smiled widely and rolled her eyes. "I think this weather must be my punishment for letting my mind wander from packing."

Alicia didn't know how to respond to that, so she just smiled politely. "Can I get you anything? Coffee, maybe?"

"Yes, coffee would be great. And maybe the address of the nearest clothing store?" Dani's smile turned self-conscious. "My suitcase seems to be filled with shorts and tanks. This dress was actually the closest thing to a work-appropriate look I could come up with. But I can tell by the look you gave me just now, that it's not really working as well as I'd hoped."

"Point taken. And sorry. I didn't mean to be rude, I was just surprised," Alicia said with what she hoped was an apologetic smile. She asked Stacey to bring them coffee. "So, Doctor Santino..."

"Dani."

"Right. Dani. I take it you're familiar with the Farris case?"

"Only from what you've told me on the phone. Well, and what I've seen on tv, of course. Which was mostly a bunch of rumors and wild speculations. As usual." Dani rolled her eyes.

Alicia couldn't hold back a chuckle. Apparently, she and Dani Santino at least had their opinion of the media in common, even if nothing else. She started to say something to that effect, but then Stacey came in with their coffee and the moment passed as they waited for her to leave before picking the conversation back up.

"Anyway, I have also been reading up on Ryan Farris himself," Dani continued. "Found something that may be interesting to look into."

"Really? What was it?"

"Well, Farris strikes me as a perfect example of what every Little League player dreams of becoming – I mean, not that a lot of Little League players dream of becoming murder suspects, of course. But, you know, the whole getting drafted for the Major League at eighteen because you can throw balls at a hundred miles per hour and making millions of dollars a year thing? Impressive. He throws his first no-hitter in 2013, and everyone has been waiting for a repeat performance ever since. But here's where it gets interesting. Because something changes, and not in a good way. Farris starts throwing slower balls. Eighty miles per hour, tops. He starts making mistakes, giving away runs. Sure, he still throws a lot of good games too, but he's not the starting pitcher he used to be. The Chicago Cougars start losing important games, fans are disappointed. And all this started in 2014."

"Okay..." Alicia wasn't a sports fan, so this was all new to her, although she had heard about the Cougars' losing streak. "But what does that have to do with his case?"

"It started right around the time he got married. To the woman who is now dead."

"Are you saying he may have killed his wife because he blamed her for a bad baseball season?" That was certainly a new angle to the whole case, although Alicia didn't like the possibility. Combined with the forensic evidence, it only made the prosecutor's case stronger that Ryan Farris didn't just have means, but also motive. She didn't really see how that would help her build a strong defense.

"I don't know, it could also just be a coincidence," Dani said.

"But you just said..."

"All I'm saying is that Ryan Farris must have been under a lot of pressure in the past year or so. And he wouldn't be the first athlete I've worked with that has cracked under pressure. Although none of the others ended up on the floor of a bathroom next to their dead wife, of course."

Alicia mulled that over. "Could this kind of pressure lead to a person going insane?" she asked then. Maybe they could plead insanity...

Dani shrugged. "Depends on his personality and coping stratgies. But you know him better than I do. Does he seem insane to you?"

"Well, considering that he hasn't said anything since his arrest, he certainly doesn't seem normal..." Alicia sighed.

Dani frowned. "He doesn't speak? Not even to, I don't know, ask what time it is?"

"No, not a single word. That's one of the things I was hoping you could help me with."

"Well... In my experience, there are a lot of causes for people to stop speaking. It could be anything, from simply refusing to say anything to a form of shock or PTSD. I would have to do a personal assessment to make sure. But I should warn you that even then, I may not find anything. And I don't think I can do it in one session. I will probably need time to get him to trust me. Could take a while if he hasn't spoken to anyone at all in... what, two months now?"

"Give or take a few days. As for time... We have a month before he goes to trial."

"Well, better get started as soon as possible, then. When can I meet him?"

"I've arranged an initial meeting for you at two. I will also be there, of course."

Dani nodded. "Good. That gives me some time to buy more appropriate clothes."

Alicia smiled and gave her directions to the nearest mall. They agreed to meet up here again after Dani's shopping trip so they could drive to the prison facility together. After the therapist had left, Alicia tried to reach Alex again. She hung up with a frustrated sigh when the call went straight to voicemail and really hoped he'd call her back soon. Considering the things Dani had pointed out, she was very anxious to hear what, if anything, he'd found out about Amy Farris.

§§§

Dani finally felt human again. Her new black pants and long sleeve turquoise blouse helped with that she supposed, as did the short nap she'd taken after returning to her hotel. She had spent last night restlessly tossing and turning, torn between excitement and trepidation, while Nico snored beside her. It was after three when she'd finally fallen asleep, only to wake up again to the annoying sound of her alarmclock not quite two hours later. Her dreams had been just as restless as her mind. The happiest moment had been when she'd walked up the aisle to where Nico stood. The worst had been when Nico turned and somehow morphed into her ex-husband, Ray.

But that was all behind her – at least for now. Nico hadn't even popped the question yet, and she had done her best to act natural, not wanting him to know she'd found the ring. She wasn't very confident that she'd pulled it off, though. He'd thrown her a few quizzical looks during dinner. After dinner she'd distracted him in the bedroom and thought she'd succeeded. But when he dropped her off at the airport this morning he'd looked at her in that way that he had, like he could see right through her, and asked her if anything was wrong. She'd muttered something about being a bit nervous about the whole Ryan Farris thing and quickly made her escape through the gate before he could interrogate her any further.

"Here we are," Alicia's voice interrupted her thoughts as the car came to a stop. The brown triangle shaped mass of the Metropolitan Correctional Center towered over them, and Dani couldn't help but feel a little nervous at the thought of going inside.

"So... have you ever been at a prison facility before?" Alicia asked.

"Nope. Think I should leave my gun in the car?" Dani smiled to let her companion know she was joking.

Alicia's eyes widened slightly. "You carry a gun?"

Okay. Too early in the relationship for gun jokes, maybe. "No, just kidding. But is there anything I should leave behind before we go in? Security wise?"

"Well, they don't like anything metal, or stuff that could be used as a weapon, of course. You know, spray cans, nail clippers, things like that. Oh, and medication."

Dani checked her bag for any of the items Alicia had summed up. "Okay, all good to go then," she said, dropping her nail file in the cup holder between the front seats of the car.

As they walked towards the entrance of the highrise building, Dani remembered a news story from a few years back. "Isn't this where those two bank robbers escaped by climbing down a bedsheet rope?"

"It is, actually," Alicia said.

Dani looked up at the massive front of the facility, wondering how the robbers had managed that. The only windows she could see were long slits that appeared to be only a few inches wide. She imagined there wasn't much daylight in the cells and suppressed a shiver at the thought of being locked in one of those dark spaces day after day, night after night.

They got through security without any problems, and Dani followed Alicia and a prison guard to a small room where Ryan Farris was waiting for them. Everything in the room seemed to be gray, from the floor and walls to the table and chairs. The only color in here was the bright orange of the jumpsuit Farris was wearing. He didn't look up when they entered and the heavy steel door slammed shut behind them.

Dani looked over her shoulder and saw the guard standing behind a window made out of reinforced glass, his gaze hard and impenetrable as he looked back at her.

"Ryan, this is the therapist I told you about, Doctor Santino," she heard Alicia say over the scraping of a chair.

Dani turned her attention back to them, making sure her nerves didn't show in her expression. She took the chair next to Alicia and looked at the man sitting across from them. He hadn't moved a muscle, didn't acknowledge their presence in any way. He just stared over their heads at the wall behind them, as if he thought his bright blue eyes could somehow burn a hole in the concrete. His ruggedly handsome face looked pale under his black hair, making his eyes stand out even more.

"Hi, Ryan," she said in her most compassionate voice, "I wish we could have met under different circumstances."

"Doctor Santino is here to..." Alicia started.

"...Listen to whatever you want to talk about," Dani took over, reaching across the table to put her hand on his.

The gesture came naturally to her, but when Alicia froze and the guard outside moved like he wanted to come in, she realized it might not be a good idea to do what came naturally in here and quickly pulled her hand back. She opened her mouth to start apologizing when she saw Ryan's face. He was now looking directly at her, and she all but flinched at the intensity of his stare.

His eyes didn't look like they belonged to a homicidal maniac, but then she'd never met one of those, had she? Dani swallowed back her nerves and smiled. "Yes, Ryan?" she asked.

His gaze lingered for an eternal moment before he dropped it to his hands and he sighed heavily. "I have nothing to say," he said. "Just get the fuck out and leave me alone. Both of you." Then he directed his eyes to the wall again and resumed his staring.

"Ryan..." Alicia tried. "We're going to trial in a month. We need to talk about that."

They waited, but he didn't say anything.

Dani had expected nothing else. "Okay, here's the deal," she said, pushing her chair back. "This place gives me the creeps, so I'm gonna go now."

"What?" Alicia said.

"You heard the man, he doesn't feel like talking today." Dani stood up. "Do you, Ryan?" The barely visible narrowing of his eyes and the equally subtle clenching of his jaw was the only answer she got. But it was an answer nonetheless. One she chose to ignore. "See? We're wasting time here," she told Alicia.

"But..."

"We'll come back tomorrow." Dani leaned on the table. Ryan didn't move, he just kept staring right through her. "You hear me, Ryan? I'm coming back. Tomorrow. I'd stay now, but I didn't bring anything to read. I'll remember to bring a magazine or a book tomorrow. You see, I'm used to getting the silent treatment after raising two kids who didn't always agree with my rules. I also have a boyfriend at home who can go days without speaking. But you know what I do then? I just wait him out. He used to be a Navy Seal." Leaning in as close as she dared with the guard still on high alert, Dani challenged Ryan with her eyes. "You know what? He caves every single time. Now, I highly doubt you're tougher than a Navy Seal, Ryan. But you're welcome to try. Wait me out, see if I'll let you off the hook." She let her gaze soften again. "I won't, you know. Because I think you need to talk to someone or you'll lose your mind in here. Might as well be me."

Ignoring Alicia's stunned look, Dani straightened and walked to the door without looking back. The guard opened the door for her and she walked straight through it. She was halfway down the hall before Alicia caught up with her. They were out the door and on the street when the lawyer finally said something. She didn't sound pleased.

"What were you doing in there?"

"Trying to get him to talk." Dani kept her voice patient. She was used to people questioning her methods.

"By treating him like—like one of your kids? And what was with the touching?"

"Yeah, I wasn't really thinking when I did that. But hey," Dani shrugged, injecting a cheerful note in her voice, "It worked. He said something right after I touched him. That's a good thing!"

"He told us to get lost, and you think that's a good thing?"

Dani took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "It's more than you got out of him, isn't it? Or anyone else, for that matter," she pointed out.

They'd reached the car and Dani got in, fastened her seatbelt and crossed her arms, waiting to be questioned some more.

After a moment's hesitation, Alicia got behind the wheel and started the car. "I'm sorry about that," she said. Then she sighed. "It's just so frustrating. He just sits there, saying nothing. It's like he _wants_ to be convicted!"

"I know. But we'll get there," Dani said, uncrossing her arms. "Ryan wants to talk, Alicia, trust me."

"So you really think he'll talk to you tomorrow? Just because you gave him that speech?"

"I'd be surprised if he did." Dani chuckled. "Looks like I'll be catching up on a lot of reading over the next couple of days. But he will talk eventually."

Alicia didn't look convinced, but after a moment of silence she shook her head and pulled the car into the afternoon traffic.


	4. Chapter 4

John Elfman watched Vince Peretti flash his most charming smile as the cameras clicked. With silver hair and a face that resembled that of a classical Roman statue, the man looked like an aging moviestar. And John wouldn't have been surprised had Peretti's picture been in the dictionary, as he was the incarnate definition of a business tycoon.

Forty years ago he had decided to start his own business, out of his tiny apartment in Bridgeport, and over the decades he had built his Peretti Entertainment Group into one of America's leading companies in the industries of media, fashion and sports. Nowadays, Peretti bought businesses like they were toys. The group owned newspapers, tv stations, internet service providers, fashion labels and sports management agencies, to name a few. The latest addition had been Vince Peretti's favorite baseball team, the Chicago Cougars, seven months ago.

And five months ago, Peretti decided to try his hand in politics and run for the position of governor of Illinois. When John had heard of the candidacy, he had jumped at the chance to run the campaign. Mainly because it was the kind of job that could make his professional reputation jump from _rising star_ to _top campaign manager_ , but also because it gave him a good excuse to finally return to Chicago after almost two years of running campaigns in other parts of the country. He'd never been a guy to stay in one place, but he'd grown to love Chicago in the few months that he'd spent here working on Alicia's campaign. Of course, that probably had more to do with Alicia herself than with the city. But coming back here had still felt like coming home, even before he'd contacted her to tell her he was back and ask her if she felt like grabbing a drink somewhere.

Peretti left the stage, where he had just given a speech for the members of the Illinois Chamber of Commerce, and started making his way towards where John stood at the side of the auditorium. He shook hands and exchanged greetings with the business owners crowding around him as he went. John pushed his thoughts of Alicia to the back of his mind and focused on his job again.

"So?" Peretti said when he reached John and they walked towards the exit of the building, where a limo was waiting to drive them back to his main office building.

"The speech went very well," John said. "You..."

"I know that! I had them eating out of my hand, for crying out loud! Forget about the damn speech. I was talking about the Farris kid. Didn't you get my e-mail?" Peretti got into the limo.

"I didn't have a chance to check my e-mail yet, sorry. What about him?" John asked, following him and pulling the door shut behind them. The driver, separated from them by a soundproof glass screen, pulled the limo into traffic.

"What's going on with the case? Is he talking yet?" Peretti's voice was laced with barely veiled impatience.

"I don't know. I haven't heard anything on the news, so..." John's voice trailed off when he saw Peretti giving him a disbelieving look. "What?"

"Come on, Johnny. You're friends with Florrick's ex, right? Farris' lawyer?"

"We... Keep in touch, yes." John kept his face and voice carefully bland. He saw no use in divulging to his candidate that Alicia and he were a bit more than just friends. Although he wasn't sure exactly how much more...

"She hasn't told you anything about her big case?" Peretti asked.

"No. Why?"

"You have to ask? Farris is the star pitcher of my team, for crying out loud! You think I want him sitting in jail for the rest of his life?" Peretti expelled a breath and shook his head.

"Well – If he did kill his wife..."

"You think he did it?" Peretti's coffee-colored eyes sharpened.

John shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not a judge. But if it turns out he did, he should be punished. Star pitcher or not. The law applies to everyone, right?"

Peretti frowned as he studied John like an entomologist studying a newly discovered bug. Then he barked out a laugh. "You really believe that, don't you?" He shook his head. "The law applies to everyone," he muttered, like it was the best joke he'd ever heard.

"Look, Vince, it doesn't really matter anyway, okay? If anyone can get Farris off, it's Alicia. She's a great lawyer. Don't worry about it," John said.

They sat in silence until the limo turned into the street where Peretti's office building was located two minutes later.

Peretti sighed heavily. "I do worry about it. That kid, just sitting in jail... It gets to me. So do me a favor, will you?" He grabbed John's shoulder.

"If I can." John felt slightly taken aback by the sudden fierceness in his candidate's demeanor.

"Just ask her how he's doing. Okay? That's not too much to ask, is it?"

"Sure, I guess I can ask her that much..." John granted. "But, Vince?"

"What?" Peretti pulled his hand back and opened the door on his side.

"Is there a connection between you and Ryan Farris that I should be aware of?"

"No. He's my team's star pitcher. That's all."

"Okay. Good." John hesitated, but then decided he wouldn't be doing his job right if he didn't at least warn the guy. "Listen, don't get mixed up with this case. It's bad enough that he is your star pitcher to begin with. So no publicly speaking out about his guilt or innocence, or anything like that. Okay? Because if he's guilty..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I wasn't born yesterday." Peretti left the car, slamming the door behind him. He'd vanished into the building before John could get out of the limo.

§§§

After a long day at the office, Nico Careles was driving back to his apartment on Park Avenue when he finally got the call he'd been waiting for ever since this morning. Not that he'd ever admit that out loud, of course. After all, he had an image to protect.

"Hello, Doctor," he answered.

"Hi there, sailor! What's up? You miss me yet?"

Nico frowned. "Sailor?"

"Well, you were in the Navy, after all."

The barely contained laughter in her voice made him smile. She sounded much more like her usual self again. He'd been slightly worried last night and this morning, because she had been so quiet. He had secretly wondered if she had somehow gotten wind of his plans, maybe even found the ring. But when he checked this morning the box had still been where he'd left it, in the left pocket of his favorite jacket. Apparently he had been worrying over nothing, although he had moved the ring to his office safe just to be sure that she wouldn't find it.

"Hello? Earth to Nico? You still there?"

"Yeah, sorry. Traffic." He turned onto Park Avenue as he said it. "So, how's Chicago?"

Dani snorted. "Windy."

"Figures." Nico manoeuvred his black Lincoln to the right and stopped to key in the access code for the underground parking beneath his building. As he waited for the gate to open he asked, "And the client?"

She sighed. "Quiet."

It was only one word, but he could hear the sudden worry in her voice. He drove into the garage, parked in his usual spot and killed the engine. Then he directed his full attention at her. "It didn't go well?"

"No... Yes. I don't know. I'll find out tomorrow, I guess." She sighed again.

"What happened today, Dani?"

"You know I can't tell you anything about my sessions. Confidential, remember?" She was stalling.

"Just tell me what you can." Silence on the other end. Nico sighed inaudibly. "Dani, you're worried. I can hear it. Tell me what's bothering you."

"Nothing. Not really. It's just..." He heard her take a deep breath. "I'm not sure if I'm up to this, Nico."

Nico blinked. "Why wouldn't you be?"

"Because it's hard."

"It is. But you're tough."

"Thank you. But so is Farris."

"So? You've had tough clients before. You never back down. What makes him different?"

"Well, he's in jail, for one thing. That place is depressing."

"You expected it to be cheerful?" She was stalling again. This wasn't the real problem, although he did understand why she hadn't liked being inside a prison facility.

"No, of course not. But I didn't expect it to be this claustrofobic either... You know, I'm seriously considering smuggling bedsheets inside when I go back tomorrow."

"Bedsheets?"

"Never mind." Dani paused briefly, and then she said what was really on her mind. "Nico, what if Farris is guilty?"

"Then he'll probably spend the rest of his life in prison. As he should."

"Yeah, no, I got that. But what if he's guilty and he's not convicted? What if the judge lets him go and he kills again?"

"Do you think he's guilty?"

"I don't know. That's what's driving me nuts!"

"Does his lawyer think he's guilty?"

"Alicia? I don't know, actually. I haven't asked. I don't think so. I mean, she wouldn't have taken on his case if she thought he was guilty, right?"

"It's a high profile case. Maybe she's doing it for the exposure. Or for the money."

Dani contemplated that. "No," she said then. "She doesn't strike me as that kind of lawyer. She seems to care. Of course, I've only met her once, so I could be wrong about her."

"But you don't think you are," Nico stated.

"No, I don't. I'm not sure why, but..."

"Because you are very good at reading people."

"Thank you. That's sweet. But it still doesn't solve my problem. I can't be part of helping a murderer get off the hook."

"You can always walk away."

She chuckled. "Hello? Have you met me?"

"Thankfully, yes."

"I really can't walk away, Nico."

"I know."

"Alicia needs my help."

He smiled. "Then there's your answer."

"Huh?"

"Don't help Farris. Help his lawyer."

Dani was quiet for a long time. Nico leaned back in the car seat and waited, imagining her face as she mulled over his words – her brow furrowed, her bottom lip caught between her teeth...

"I knew there was a reason why I wanted to call you," she said eventually, a smile in her voice.

"Because you missed me?"

"Okay, two reasons then."

"Because you love me."

An exaggerated sigh sounded from the car kit. "Fine. Three reasons."

"What's the third?"

"Because you always know exactly what to say to make me feel better. Thank you."

"Anytime. So, will you do something for me in return?"

"Sure – that is, as long as it's not, you know..." she lowered her voice to a whisper, "Phone sex."

Nico bit back a stunned laugh. "Well, now that you mention it..."

"What?"

"Well, I was going to say, tell me what you're planning with those bedsheets in prison, but your suggestion is better. So now I'm going with that. Tell me, what are you wearing?"

"Nico?"

"Yes?"

"Bite me."

"Kinky phone sex. Even better," Nico quipped. He was rewarded with a giggle. Then she burst into full out laughter, making him feel like the king of the world because he'd made it happen.

When her laughter subsided he asked her about the bedsheets again, and she told him about the bank robbers escaping from prison. After five more minutes of chatting about everything and nothing they said goodbye, both feeling much better than they had before.

§§§

Liquid fire shot through Alicia's veins as she pressed herself fully against John's body, opening her mouth to give his tongue access. She heard him groan as his hands roved over her back and he pulled her tighter agaist him, his erection pressing against her stomach, and she moaned in answer. There were too many layers of clothes between them. She needed to feel his skin against hers, to feel him thrusting inside her... But not here in the hallway of her apartment. When she started pulling him towards the bedroom, he broke the kiss.

"Hey, what's the rush?" He smiled.

"Huh?" Alicia blinked. Was he serious? He was rock hard and breathing just as hard as she was. And he wanted to know what the rush was? She let her hand slide down his body until she reached the hardest part of him and cupped him through his pants, lightly squeezing. He inhaled sharply, pressing himself against her hand, and she smiled and looked at him through her lashes. "I want you," she whispered in her most seductive voice. She leaned into him, going for another kiss, but he moved away from her. "John?" She dropped her hand to her side. "What's wrong?"

"Don't get me wrong, but..." He sighed, pulled a hand through his hair. "I've been inside for what, two minutes now?"

"Give or take." She smiled. "Best two minutes of my day, so far."

A sudden flash of frustration darkened his eyes, coloring them the blue of the ocean on a stormy day. "Damn it, Alicia, if I'm nothing more than a booty call to you, just tell me now. Because I don't..."

"What? No! John... you know you mean more to me than that."

"Yeah? Doesn't feel that way right now."

"Well, it's true. You... We..." Alicia stammered, not sure how to label what they had without hurting him. "Well, we're friends..." was the best she could come up with. And it wasn't a lie. They _were_ friends. She remembered how pleasantly surprised she'd felt to hear from him that first time, after she'd been forced to step down from the SA's office two years ago. She'd never expected that. Then a couple of weeks later she'd called him to congratulate him on his LA candidate winning the elections. And they'd kept in touch after that too, when he moved on to Boston and then San Francisco. When she'd been going through her divorce, he'd called her at least once a week to ask how she was doing.

And then, four months ago, he'd called to tell her he was back in town. They'd gone for a drink, just two friends catching up, and one thing had led to another. They'd repeated that dance several times since then, so Alicia guessed they were now friends with benefits, even though she hated that term.

"If that's true, then why don't you offer me a drink?" He sounded hurt, and Alicia hated herself a little for it. "Why can't we, I don't know, talk a while before we jump into the sack?"

She walked up to him and, after a moment's hesistation, put her hand on his arm. "John – I... I just missed you. It's been a while since last time." Two weeks, to be exact – not that she was keeping count or anything. "But you're right. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like a... You know."

John stood there looking at her, his arm muscles tense under her hand, hurt and anger warring in his eyes. For a moment, she thought he would turn around and leave, but then she felt him relax slightly. "I know," he said on a sigh. "Sorry for lashing out like that. It's been a long day."

Alicia smiled softly. "Then why don't you go sit down and relax while I go get you a beer?"

He seemed undecided for another moment, but then he nodded. "Sure, that would be nice," he said, taking off his jacket.

Alicia went into the kitchen to get him a beer and herself a glass of red wine. When she walked into the living room she found him sitting on her couch, leaning his had back with his eyes closed. "John?" she said quietly as she sat down next to him and put her wine on the coffee table.

"Hm?" He lifted his head and opened his eyes. Then he yawned. "Sorry. I must be more tired than I thought. Maybe I'd better leave."

"Oh no, you only just got here... please stay?" She put a finger on his lips when he looked like he would protest. "John... I promise I'll behave. Okay? Here." She handed him the beer and relief coursed through her when he took it. "So, rough day?" she asked.

"Not really. Just long. Three speeches, two photo ops, preparing Peretti for the big debate..." John shrugged and swigged his beer. "You know, the usual."

Alicia nodded. "Glad I'm not part of that circus anymore," she said.

"You were good at it though." He chuckled. "A handful sometimes, but still good."

"I don't know..." She smiled. "I think I make a better lawyer. And I think politics wouldn't have made me happy in the long run. Opening up my own law firm did." It hadn't made Louis Canning happy though, but that was probably more because she had taken half of his clients with her than because he missed her as his law partner.

"That's what counts." John put his arm around her. She rested her head on his shoulder and snuggled against him, glad that he wasn't angry anymore. "How's the Farris case going?"

Alicia sighed. "Well, he told me to get out when I visited him today. Believe it or not, that's progress."

"Really? He's still not talking?"

"Nope. But Dani says he wants to talk." She rolled her eyes. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Dani?"

"The psychotherapist."

"Oh, right. Is she good?" John yawned again.

"She's..." Alicia sat up and reached for her wine. Taking a sip, she tried to come up with an apt description for Dani. "Unusual. The way she handled Ryan today was not really what I expected, to say the least. But she seems to know what she's..." She looked at John then, and saw that he had his eyes closed again. She whispered his name, but this time he didn't respond. Smiling, she took the almost empty beer bottle from his hand and put it next to her wine on the coffee table. Then she carefully snuggled back against him.


	5. Chapter 5

The first thing Alicia became aware of when she woke up the next morning, her eyes not even open yet, was the hand that was casually resting on her breast, loosely cupping it. Every time she breathed in, the weight of the hand made her bra lightly chafe her nipple in a very pleasant way. She smiled at the sensation and instinctively shifted herself a little, pushing her breast more firmly into the hand.

It was John's hand, she realized belatedly as her sleepy brain kicked into gear. And the firm pillow her head was resting on, was John's chest. She must have fallen asleep after snuggling up against him on the couch last night.

She considered disentangling herself from him, in order to avoid what she knew was going to be an awkward situation. He had never spent the night at her apartment before, not even on the nights they'd had sex. Waking up in his arms felt way too... intimate. But his hand on her breast was starting to reawaken the need she'd felt last night, sending warm tingles down to her stomach. That made moving away from him easier said then done as her mind started helpfully providing images of what John's hands could do to her, had done to her before, the pleasure they could evoke... If only he were awake. But that could be arranged, of course.

Alicia shifted again and slowly moved her own hand from his chest to his abdomen. She wanted to go lower, but hesitated. What if he responded to her touching him there the same way he'd responded last night? That would make things only more awkward between them, and she didn't want that. She wanted this to be easy, uncomplicated. So maybe she should just get up and go take a shower. A cold one...

John's fingers tightened on her breast ever so slightly then, and Alicia waited with bated breath. He stirred a bit, and then she felt his lips brush over her hair in a light kiss. She looked up to find his eyes, heavy-lidded with sleep but looking very much awake, looking back at her.

"Hi," he said, a drowsy smile on his face.

His jaw was covered with stubble and a lock of his brown hair curled over his forehead. Alicia's breath caught at the realization of how sexy he looked, and she couldn't stop herself from pressing her lips against his, letting her tongue come out to lick his lips. Her hand made it to where it had been going before, almost out of its own accord, and her core muscles clenched when she discovered how hard he was.

John opened his mouth on a groan, his tongue meeting hers in a passionate duel for control of the kiss. His objections from the night before had apparently taken a back seat for now, and everything inside her rejoiced in that notion. She started stroking him through his jeans, lifting her other hand to weave her fingers through his hair and pull his mouth down on hers more firmly.

The hand on her breast was squeezing gently now, his thumb and forefinger tightening around her nipple. Alicia moaned and broke the kiss, her need spiking off the charts now. Feeling glad that she was wearing a skirt she could hike up, she wasted no time in sitting up and straddling John's thighs before kissing him again. His hands grabbed her butt, the warmth of his skin adding an extra layer of sensations. She whimpered and let her head fall back when her most sensitive part pressed against his erection and he rubbed himself against her. His hands came up to her breasts, pushing them together as his mouth made its way down her throat.

Alicia was wearing a blue silk blouse, one of her favorites. But she didn't mind at all when John ripped the blouse open, buttons flying everywhere, so he could get at her breasts. She even helped him by quickly undoing the front clasp of her bra. And then his mouth closed around one nipple while his thumb and forefinger massaged the other. She rocked her thighs against him, her breath coming in short pants now, in an effort to achieve relief of her aching need.

Forget foreplay, she needed him inside her, now.

But her panties were in the way, as were his jeans. Lifting herself slightly, she lowered her hands and undid his jeans. He helped her by lifting his hips and shoving the jeans and his boxers down. Alicia pulled her panties to the side and sank down on him.

"Oh, God, yes," she whispered when he finally filled her up. Her inner muscles clamped down on him, heightening the sensation.

John let out a low, guttural sound, let his head fall back against the couch and put his hands on her hips, his grip firm. He began guiding her up and down his length, flexing his thighs to thrust upwards each time she came down.

There was nothing slow, soft or gentle about it, and that was exactly how she wanted it.

Soon the friction became almost unbearable, and that was when Alicia felt one of his hands move around to her front. His thumb started stroking her and her inner muscles spasmed around him in a sudden rush of pleasure. She heard John groan in response as he held himself still inside her until she'd ridden out the wave. Then he drove upwards three, four more times before he shuddered and spilled inside her.

They collapsed against the back of the couch together, their hearts pounding, their breathing heavy. Alicia closed her eyes, laying her head on his chest as she tried to get her breath back under control. She felt John's hand caressing her back in slow, lazy strokes, felt him kiss her hair again. It felt nice... And it was dangerous, she realized with a start. It was moments like this one that made maintaining a safe distance between them harder. That was exactly why she'd never let him stay over after their nights together. Why she shouldn't have fallen asleep in his arms last night.

"So, um..." She put her hands on his chest and lifted herself off of him. "You want coffee or something?" Looking away from him she stood up, pulled her skirt down and straightened it. She fastened her bra and pulled her blouse together to start buttoning up – only to realize that there were no buttons left.

"No, thanks. Gotta run." John got up too, pulled first his underwear and then his jeans back up and tucked his wrinkled shirt in.

"Oh. Okay." Alicia felt her eyebrows arch in surprise, but she hid it by pretending to look at the clock, conveniently located on the wall behind her. "I'd better hurry too, I'm meeting Dani in an hour."

"Go shower. I can let myself out," he told her. Then he stepped past her.

What, not even a kiss goodbye? She openly stared at his back as he left the room, her brow furrowed. "John?" she called after him as he stepped into the hallway.

"Yeah?" He looked back at her.

"Are we... Good?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Sure, why wouldn't we be?"

"Um..." Good question. "Last night. You seemed..."

John gave her a dismissive wave and a dazzling smile. "Don't worry about it. Like I said, I had a long day."

"Okay..." Alicia didn't know what to make of his reaction.

"Okay. See you later." He turned and vanished into the hallway.

It was only when she heard him pull the outside door shut behind him that she realized she hadn't said anything in return. "See you later?" she muttered, shaking her head.

Before she could think about his strange behavior any further, her phone chimed with the sound of an incoming text. She grabbed the device from the coffee table and swiped to read the message.

 _Had to leave town on urgent business. Will be gone a while. Alex._

Urgent business? Alicia narrowed her eyes. What, like investigating the Farris case wasn't urgent at all? And what was it this morning, with men not specifying how long it would be before they would honor her with their presence again?

She tapped on his phone number, a bit harder than strictly necessary, and called the investigator right back.

"Hi, this is Alex Grisham. I can't come to the phone right now..."

Alicia impatiently waited out the rest of the voicemail message. When the beep sounded, she took a deep breath and said, in her most polite tone, "Hi Alex, Alicia Florrick here. You're fired." Then she hung up.

§§§

Ryan missed the lawyer already, and she hadn't even been gone an hour. He sighed quietly, trying to ignore the therapist sitting across the table from him. But she wasn't as easy to ignore as the lawyer, who always asked the same questions and told him the same things. He had gotten very good at tuning out her voice over the past eight weeks. The therapist hadn't said a word to him since she'd entered, but she was driving him crazy regardless.

She'd kept word and brought a stack of magazines with her. She was currently leafing through a _Sports Illustrated_. And tapping her foot. Five minutes ago, she'd been softly humming a popsong while reading some women's magazine. Three minutes before that, she'd been filing her nails, the rasping sound of the cardboard file almost unbearably loud in the silence.

He shifted in his seat, directing his gaze at the window next to the steel door. The guard standing there looked straight ahead with equally steely eyes. Ryan lifted his chin at him, trying to get his attention, but it was like trying to get the attention of a wall.

The therapist chuckled softly. Was she laughing at him? Before Ryan could stop himself he turned his head in her direction – only to find her engrossed in her reading, still smiling. And still tapping that damn foot of hers. He sighed again, a little louder than he had meant to, and she looked up at him with questioning eyes.

He clenched his teeth and looked over her head again, at the wall behind her.

She stopped tapping her foot and started going through the stack of magazines, apparently done with _Sports Illustrated_. "Ooh, _Cosmopolitan_..." he heard her mutter, and she clapped her hands. "It's been years since I've read one of those." She pushed her chair back, the legs scraping over the floor, and settled back.

After two minutes of blissful silence, she clapped her hands again. "Oh, goody, it even has one of those stupid quizzes," she said. She reached for her bag and started rummaging around in it. "Where's a pen when you need one, huh? Oh, wait, there it is!"

As she started scribbling in the magazine, Ryan fought the urge to bang his head against the table, just to have something other to do than sit here and watch time tick by on the clock hanging on the wall behind the therapist. What the fuck was he still doing here, anyway? Visiting hours were over, and the other inmates would be going up to the excercise yard on the rooftop right around this time. He should be joining them instead of just sitting here.

The therapist started tapping the pen against the surface of the table, and Ryan rolled his eyes. He knew what she was doing. He did it on a daily basis himself. It was part of his fucking job description as a pitcher. She was trying to keep him on his toes, to keep him guessing about what kind of ball she was gonna throw him eventually. He realized it was actually funny, this tiny woman thinking she could use his own techniques against him. Yeah, when you really thought about it, it was very funny... if it hadn't been working so well.

Another fifteen minutes of him trying not to pay attention to her constant fidgeting, tapping, whistling and humming went by. Then she pushed her chair back and stood up. Ryan closed his eyes. She was leaving. Finally. A loud sigh escaped him before he could hold it back and he let himself relax slightly.

The room remained nearly quiet. No sounds of her packing up her stuff, no clicking of high heels on their way to the door. Just a light rustling of cloth. What the fuck was going on? Ryan opened his eyes – and felt them widen as he caught sight of her standing by the door, doing what looked like stretch exercises. In her stocking feet.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," he said under his breath. But apparently louder than he'd meant to.

"You don't mind, do you? I just felt like moving around a bit," she said in a cheerful tone. She didn't look back, didn't pause the exercise she was doing. "I don't really like sitting still."

"Yeah, I noticed that," he groused.

"Okay. Well, if you're just gonna be grumpy, I might as well leave." She came back to the table and started stuffing her magazines into her bag. Then she put her shoes back on, balancing on one foot as she put the shoe on the other. He followed all her movements, not sure he could trust that she was really leaving. When she looked up at him again, her eyes were soft and warm. And so was her smile. "But it was good to hear your voice, Ryan. See you tomorrow!" She turned and walked to the door.

"You're leaving? Now?" Shit, now that he'd started talking to her, he couldn't seem to stop. Ryan clenched his jaw again.

"Yup." Still cheerful. "Well, unless you have something you want to talk to me about?" She paused, but he kept his mouth shut. "No? That's what I thought. Bye, Ryan." She tapped on the window, and the guard opened the door for her. She stepped outside, and the door slammed shut again. His gaze followed her as she walked past the window, the guard accompanying her.

Ryan waited for the guard to come back and return him to his cell. After a while he started tapping his foot, just to break the silence that once again hung in the room. The silence that should have been a relief – but somehow wasn't.

§§§

John suppressed a yawn as walked into the CBS studio complex with Peretti, who was talking on his phone. Alicia's couch was comfortable, but not enough so to get a full night's of decent sleep on. Though he'd loved waking up with her in his arms this morning. She'd never let him stay before, so this was definitely progress. If it were up to him, they'd wake up together like they had this morning every day for the rest of their lives.

A small smile turned the corners of his mouth up as he remembered the confusion in her eyes when he'd left this morning. He'd nearly screwed up, holding her close as he basked in the afterglow of their quickie on the couch. But he had recovered quickly, although it had been hard as hell to act casual while she was standing there with her blouse still hanging open.

"Okay, let's get this damn show on the road, huh, Johnny?" Peretti tucked his phone away as they entered the studio where _Good Morning Chicago_ was filmed. "Any last minute advice?"

"Just remember to always pivot back to your message. And don't curse. Oh, and..." But he was talking to the candidate's back as the man strode across the floor to where the talkshow host and camera crew were waiting, so John didn't bother finishing his sentence. He nodded at a production assistant and waved at the talkshow host, a gorgeous redhead who threw him a radiant smile. Then he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, waiting for the interview to start.

Peretti did great as usual, dazzling the host with his charm and easily talking himself out of tricky questions. As the interview neared the end, John allowed himself to let his mind wander back to last night.

He'd woken around three, and hadn't been able to get back to sleep immediately. So he'd just enjoyed holding her close, breathing in her scent. His body had started reacting to the sensation of her soft body lying against his, and he'd seriously considered waking her, to make up for his earlier rejection by making love to her. And that's when an idea had suddenly hit him.

Lovemaking wasn't what she wanted. She wanted just sex, no matter how many times he made love to her, pouring all his feelings into it. So maybe he should stop making love to her, and start giving her what she wanted. Show her the difference between the two. Who knew, maybe that would finally make her acknowledge that there was so much more between them than just lust and friendship.

He felt like a jackass for even considering it, but the only other option he had was to walk away from her. He'd tried that after their one-night stand two years ago, and look how well that had worked out...

§§§

Dani walked into Alicia's office around six thirty that evening to find her in the middle of a phone call. Alicia looked even more worn-out than Dani felt, her rich chocolate-colored hair only serving to emphasize the shadows under her eyes. She held up a finger to indicate she would only be a minute, and Dani took the opportunity to look around the elegantly decorated office as she tried not to listen in on the call.

"No, no, I understand. But I really need someone fast, so if you could refer me to someone else..." she heard Alicia say. The slender woman sounded as tired as she looked, and a hint of frustration colored her voice as she thanked whoever she was talking to for their time. Dani was looking at a framed photo of Alicia and, judging by the resemblance, her son and daughter, when Alicia hung up and sighed.

She turned to find the lawyer massaging her temples, her eyes closed. "Hard day, huh?"

"You have no idea," Alicia said, raising her head.

"Believe me, I do." Dani sat down in the chair in front of the walnut-colored desk and crossed her legs. "But at least I achieved some progress at the end of mine."

Alicia leaned forward, her green eyes coming alive. "Ryan talked?"

"Well, grumbled is more like it. He didn't really have anything to say. But it's a start. I'll try again tomorrow." Dani sighed. "I just wish I wouldn't have to do it in that room. It's about the farthest thing of a safe environment I can think of. I mean, for therapy purposes."

"Tell me about it. I don't envy you having to go back there..." Alicia's voice trailed off and her forehead wrinkeled. "Wait. Do you think something like a mental hospital would be a better environment?"

Dani thought about it. There would probably still be all kinds of heavy security measures and uncomfortable furniture in a place like that, but... "Well, they will at least have rooms that are meant for therapy. Not ideal, but better than prison. Why?"

"Just a thought. I'll work on it a bit more tonight and get back to you tomorrow." Alicia made a note on the legal pad lying in front of her, next to what appeared to be a list of names. They were all striked through. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some more headhunting to do before I call it a day. My investigator seems to have bailed on me, and apparently all the other ones I know are busy."

Dani put a finger on her chin, an idea forming in her head. "Maybe I can help," she said.

Alicia frowned. "You're an investigator too?"

Dani chuckled. "Sure feels like I am sometimes... But no. My boyfriend is a security expert, though. And he knows a lot of people."

"Security expert? I thought he was a Navy SEAL."

"Used to be. Then he was a secret agent. Or something like that. Then he became the head of security for the New York Hawks, which is where I met him. And now he has his own security business."

"Wow. He sounds... Interesting."

"Oh, he is. Anyway, if you want I can give him a call, see if he can recommend anyone."

"That would be great. Thanks."

"No problem." Dani's stomach rumbled softly right at that point, and she chuckled again. "Sounds like I'm going to have to go grab a bite to eat first though. You know any good Italian restaurants here?"

Alicia smiled. "I do, actually." She hesitated, her smile dimming somewhat. "Do you mind if I join you?"

Dani returned the smile. "Lead the way," she said.


	6. Chapter 6

Something had changed. Dani immediately noticed it when she entered the gray room the next morning. Ryan was sitting in the same chair he'd sat in the previous times, but his posture was completely different. Instead of looking straight at the wall across from him, he was leaning forward and looking down at his cuffed hands, his longish black hair hiding part of his face.

"Ryan?" Dani said quietly, approaching the table. She had come to the correctional facility earlier than yesterday and alone, because Alicia had an important pretrial motion to write this morning. If all went well, she would file the motion this afternoon. But she needed Dani's report to do so. That's why Dani hadn't brought any magazines. She was planning to bring out the big guns today.

He didn't look up when she sat down. "Sean came to visit me yesterday," he said. "After you left."

Okay, maybe she wouldn't need the big guns. "Sean?" Dani kept her voice calm.

"Amy's brother." He raised his hands and shoved them through his hair, still not looking at her.

"Oh. I see." Dani's forehead creased as she thought this over. "Does he visit often?"

"No." Ryan dropped his hands again and sighed. Then he shook his head and finally looked up. She could almost literally see him pull the walls back up between them. "You're wasting your time here, Doc. I'm not gonna talk."

"Why not, Ryan?" Dani rested her elbows on the table and folded her hands, her head cocked to the side as she regarded him, wondering where the sudden change in subject had come from. Could it be that his unwillingness to talk had something to do with Sean or his visit? She filed this thought away as something to examine later.

"I already told you. I have nothing to say."

"Yeah, you did tell me that. But see, here's the thing, Ryan. I don't believe that's true."

He sighed heavily. "Okay, you wanna hear my story? I was pissed off with Amy. So fucking pissed off I felt like I could kill her." He leaned forward in a sudden movement and dropped his voice to a low, menacing whisper. "And so I did. Are we done now?"

"No." Dani swallowed, once again very aware of the fact that she wasn't in her office with a regular patient. But instead of backing away from him, she leaned forward, putting her hands flat on the table. "What were you so angry about?"

"Does it matter?" He bit out, pushing himself back from the table.

"Yes." Dani sat up straight again. "See, I'm not buying it. I don't believe that mentally healthy people just snap and kill someone, Ryan. That kind of anger doesn't just happen overnight. So, what were you angry about?"

"I don't know, damn it!" He shouted, slamming his fist down on the table, the chain between the cuffs jangling. "I don't remember!"

The guard behind the window jumped to open the door but Dani held up a hand to stop him from coming in. It didn't show on the outside, but her heart was racing. His apparent frustration told her that he wasn't simply faking memory loss. He had blocked the memory of Amy's murder – and if Dani was able to unblock it, Alicia may finally get something to base her defense strategy on.

The first thing she needed to do right now, though, was get through to him. And for that, she needed him to calm down. His fists were balled tight and his face was hard. Dani stood up and folded her arms across her chest. She gave him a look she normally reserved for her kids – and TK, of course, who had come to her with anger issues five years ago and had been known to throw a tantrum or two in her presence.

Ryan gave her a challenging look, then dropped his gaze to the table. But he didn't relax his hands.

"Ryan, look at me." She waited, but he didn't look up. "Look at me," she demanded again, more forcefully. He looked up. "You think I can't help you, that I don't understand. But I can and I do. You don't have to believe that just because I say so, but I can't prove it to you until you let me try."

He shrugged, but he didn't look away and he didn't shout.

Dani released a quiet breath. She had his attention. It was a start. "Here's the deal. You could go to prison for the rest of your life. That is a very long time. And that's fine with me. If you really are a cold-blooded killer."

He looked away then, his eyes fixing on the guard who had resumed his normal position but still looked ready to act if Ryan made one more aggressive move.

Dani softened her voice. "But you know what? I don't think you are. I don't think you planned to kill Amy, or even wanted to."

His blue eyes found hers again, searching her gaze. Dani let him see the truth. Based on her impressions of him so far, she really didn't believe Ryan had meant to kill his wife. Sure, she'd seen the case files, and to her it certainly looked like he had pulled the trigger... But it could have been an accident, right?

"But that's up to a judge to decide. What you have to decide, Ryan, is this." She held his gaze with hers and made sure she spoke very clearly. "Do you really want to give up your freedom, your career, _your whole life_ without knowing exactly what really happened that night? Or will you give me a chance to help you figure out what happened, so you can at least find some inner peace again?"

In her peripheral vision, she could see his fists start to unclench ever so slowly as he thought over what she'd said.

§§§

"Are you sure about this?" Alicia looked at Dani standing next to her in the courtroom as they waited for Judge Richard Cuesta to take his seat. Then her gaze moved on to Geneva Pine. The prosecutor standing behind the table on the other side of the aisle stared ahead, her back straight and her lips pursed.

"Yes. We need him out of there," Dani whispered back.

The rustling of cloth echoed through the room as everyone sat down. Alicia directed her eyes forward again and took a deep breath. The whole idea had sounded very sensible when Dani and she had discussed it over dinner last night, but that was when they were still talking about trying to get Ryan moved to a secure psychiatric facility. This was a completely different ball game.

"Well, let's get started." Judge Cuesta looked first at Geneva, then at Alicia from behind his black-rimmed glasses. "Miss Florrick, what have you got for me today?"

Alicia squared her shoulders. "We would like to file a motion for this court to reconsider the decision to deny Mr. Farris bail, Your Honor. We would like Mr. Farris released from the Metropolitan Correctional Center on bail as soon as possible."

"Yes, I'm sure you would like that. And I would like to be out on the lake, fishing right now. Yet, here I am..." Cuesta spread his hands in front of him, palms up. "...And not a boat in sight. But, enlighten me. On what grounds do you base this request?"

From the corner of her eye, Alicia saw Geneva raise her hand to conceal a small smile. "On the grounds that Mr. Farris has not been able to aid in his own defense so far, which means he does not meet the standard for competency to stand trial..."

"Objection!" Geneva jumped up, all traces of the smile gone. "The defendant's competency to stand trial has already been established by psychiatric evaluation upon his arrest. The defense is just trying to stall the proceedings here."

Alicia spoke before Cuesta could. "No, Your Honor, I am not trying to delay. In fact, we are trying everything we can to get Mr. Farris ready in time for the court date you set. But new developments in Mr. Farris' mental condition have come to light, and we are worried that if he remains in prison, those developments will cause a delay."

Cuesta looked from her to Geneva, a deep crease forming between his eyebrows. "Overruled, Miss Pine. I want to hear more about these new developments." He looked back at Alicia. "Okay, you have my attention, counselor. But this better be good," he warned.

"Thank you, Your Honor." This time it was Alicia who concealed a smile, by looking down at the legal pad lying on the table in front of her and pretending to consult her notes. When she looked up again, her face was once again serious. "The defense has sought the assistance of Doctor Danielle Santino," she gestured at Dani, "A renowned expert in the field of psychology, to evaluate Mr. Farris. This morning, she found that Mr. Farris has no recollection of the events of July 24."

Geneva snorted, and Cuesta threw her a warning look.

"Doctor Santino has offered to provide Mr. Farris with a... treatment that has been known to be successful in retrieving memories. However, a safe and relaxed environment is required for this treatment to succeed."

"Really?" The crease between Cuesta's eyebrows deepened as he looked at Dani, and then back at Alicia. "And what kind of treatment are we talking about here, Miss Florrick?"

"A combination of traditional psychoanalysis and..." Alicia sighed quietly, wishing she could leave the next part out. "...Hypnosis, Your Honor."

"Oh, come on!" Geneva spat. "Why would you do that? Post-hypnosis statements have been ruled unreliable or hearsay, and therefore inadmissible in court, on numerous occasions!"

"Yes, they have been." Cuesta mused. "Miss Florrick, I assume you already knew that."

"Yes, Your Honor, the defense is aware of that. But we do not plan to submit such a statement into evidence. Doctor Santino plans to use hypnosis merely as an... investigative method. It's the psychoanalysis that really matters." Alicia waited with bated breath as Cuesta mulled over her words.

"It's not that I don't understand your concern, Miss Pine," the Judge said slowly, "But before I decide on this matter, I would like to hear from the expert herself. Doctor Santino, may I ask you to take the stand, please?"

Dani's eyes widened and she swallowed. Alicia gave her a reassuring nod. The therapist smiled nervously, but she stood up anyway and walked to the witness stand, where she sat down and crossed her legs. Her hands clasped tightly in her lap, she gave the Judge a nod to indicate she was ready.

"Doctor Santino, could you tell me a bit more about your plans with the defendant?" He asked, after having her swear to tell the truth. "Because I don't want anyone clucking like a chicken in my courtoom." A smile wrinkled the corners of his eyes, and Alicia felt encouraged. When Cuesta joked it usually indicated that he may not be completely on board with an idea yet, but that it had managed to pique his interest.

Dani smiled. "You won't have to worry about that, sir – I mean, Your Honor..." Her smile dimmed and her eyes darted to Alicia, who once again nodded reassuringly. Dani took a deep breath and visibly made an effort to relax, unclasping her hands and putting them palms down on her thighs. Her voice sounded confident when she explained, "Hypnosis can be used for different things. The hypnosis technique I plan to use on Mr. Farris is meant to create a highly relaxed state of inner concentration and focused attention. Which helps to retrieve memories that have been blocked due to shock or trauma."

"I see." Cuesta nodded. "But isn't it true that this relaxed state will also make the defendant more susceptible to suggestion? I remember a case in... Wheeling, I think... where a boy confessed to a murder he hadn't committed, because a psychotherapist had induced false memories of the murder in question."

"Yes, Your Honor. Unfortunately, hypnosis can be used to induce false memories. The trick is for the therapist to be careful and remain unbiased and objective in questioning a hypnotized person. If the therapist you mentioned said something to the effect of 'let's go back to the night you murdered your victim', then he wasn't being..." Dani's eyes widened slightly and she tensed again as she looked at something behind Alicia.

"...Objective?" Cuesta asked, and Dani whipped her gaze back to the Judge.

"Um, no. Yes." She cleared her throat. "He wasn't being objective. Or unbiased. Your Honor."

As Cuesta continued asking questions about Dani's methods and then went on to discussing her impressions of Ryan's mental state, the therapist's eyes kept straying towards the back of the room every now and then, and after a couple of minutes Alicia turned in her seat to see what she was looking at. Her gaze was immediately drawn to the tall, broad-shouldered man leaning against the wall next to the door, his arms folded across his chest and his eyes fixed on Dani.

He looked like he should be sitting in the seat of the defendant, was Alicia's first thought. But that was mostly because he was dressed completely in black, like the bad guy in one of those old movies she sometimes watched late at night. He even had on one of those long black coats that would billow out behind him when he ran.

With his thick eyebrows shading his gaze underneath his slicked back black hair and the dark stubble that lined his jaw and his square chin, he would have looked more than a bit intimidating, if it hadn't been for the barely visible hint of a smile turning the corners of his mouth up. He wasn't classically handsome, but he had a certain kind of roguish, rugged attractiveness going on...

When his gaze crossed hers and he slightly narrowed his eyes, Alicia felt like he was looking right through her professional facade and saw everything she was guarding under the surface. From the extramarital affair she'd had with her first boss years ago to the guilty pleasure she felt when watching melodramatic and pretentious crime shows on cable.

She quickly turned to face forward again, wondering who he could be. Then she saw Dani flash him a quick smile and she knew. This had to be the interesting boyfriend, Nico. Dani had called him last night from the restaurant, asking if he knew any good investigators in the Chicago area, and he had offered his own services. Alicia had readily agreed, having heard lots of what Dani called war stories over dinner. But she hadn't expected him to arrive before tonight. And how had he even known where to find them?

Alicia glanced over her shoulder to find his gaze once again fixed on Dani. It was like he was drinking her in with his eyes, and for a second she wished someone would look at her like that. But she pushed that thought back by telling herself that having a man look at you like that wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

She turned her head forward again – and as she was doing so, her eyes caught on a familiar face. She frowned. What was Vince Peretti doing here?

§§§

"Last question, Doctor Santino." Dani forced her eyes away from Nico and back to Judge Cuesta, who was giving her a friendly smile. "Could you please explain to me why your treatment of the defendant can't take place at the Metropolitan Correctional Center?"

"It is my experience that patients are better able to relax and focus in an environment where they feel safe and comfortable. Ryan, I mean Mr. Farris, doesn't come across like he's feeling very safe or very comfortable where he is now," Dani said. She heard the prosecutor snort loudly and suppressed the urge to give the woman an angry squint.

Cuesta nodded. "Thank you, Doctor Santino. You may step down now." As she got up, he raised his voice to address the rest of the courtroom. "I will now suspend this hearing until five to consider the motion. I expect counselors back here at five pm sharp to hear my ruling." He banged his gavel, making her stumble on her heels a little.

Alicia walked around the table to meet Dani halfway. "You did great up there," she said with a smile.

Dani returned the smile. "Thanks. I just hope I've managed to convince him."

"Well, he doesn't seem entirely opposed to the idea. But it could still go either way."

"Good thing we won't have to wait for long, then. Oh, and Nico's here." Dani nodded in his direction and had to force herself to keep walking at a normal pace as they walked towards the exit of the courtroom.

"I noticed. He looks... Impressive."

Dani chuckled. "Oh, he's not the bad boy he pretends to be," she replied, loud enough for Nico to hear. "That's just for show." She grinned as he mock scowled at her and pushed himself off from the wall. Then she couldn't hold back any longer and quickly took the last steps that separated them, walking straight into his arms and pulling his head down for a chaste kiss.

"So you think kissing me will make up for the damage you just did to my reputation?" He whispered in her ear as she let go, his eyes teasing.

Dani swatted him lightly on the arm. "Just be thankful I didn't slap you for breaking my concentration while I was on the stand." She turned around to introduce Alicia to Nico, but the lawyer wasn't looking at them. Instead, her gaze was fixed on a distinguished looking, older man who was just leaving the courtroom. "Who's that?" Dani asked.

"Someone who has no business being here right now," Alicia said, still looking at the door.

Nico tensed. "Trouble?" he asked.

"What? Oh – No, I don't think so. I just didn't expect to see him here... And I'm being rude again." Alicia shook her head and rolled her eyes on a self-depricating smile. "Sorry. Hello, I'm Alicia Florrick. It's nice to meet you."

"Nico Careles."

They shook hands, and Alicia's eyes darted to the door again right after she let go. "I'm sorry, would you excuse me for a moment?" She strode off towards the exit without waiting for a reply.

What was that about? Dani frowned. Well, only one way to find out, she decided, taking Nico's hand and pulling him with her to the door.

"I take it this is not how she usually acts?" Nico said as he fell in step beside her.

§§§

John was looking at his phone when the door to the courtroom opened and Peretti came out. He quickly tucked the device back into his pocket and went to meet his candidate. "Tell me you kept a low profile in there," he said in a low voice, clenching his teeth. When Peretti's assistant told him where the candidate had gone, John had dropped the speech he'd been working on and jumped in his car immediately.

"Jesus, Johnny! Would you relax already? What's wrong with you? Now I can't decide to go to court on my own time?"

"There's no such thing as your own time when you run for office, Vince. You have to protect your image. I told you, you can't get any more involved in this case than you already are! There's press all over the place. What if they take your picture and put it in some gossip rag with a caption insinuating that you..."

"Mr. Peretti? Do you have a moment?"

 _Great._ John sighed when he recognized Alicia's voice calling out behind them. All the more reason to get Peretti out of here. Before some reporter saw him talking to his opponent's ex-wife. And before the candidate could pick up on any vibes between Alicia and John that would betray there was more than friendship going on. But before he could stop him, Peretti had already turned around, a charming smile on his face.

"Mrs. Florrick, how wonderful to see you," he said. "You were great in there."

"Um. Thank you. And it's Miss Florrick now, as I'm sure you know. May I ask what brings you to court today? I thought you would be out campaigning..." Her gaze crossed John's then. "Oh. John. Hi."

"Alicia." He kept his voice polite and his expression bland, but only barely. "We're late for a photo op, so..."

"Oh, nonsense, Johnny. That can wait. So, tell me Miss Florrick. How's my boy doing?"

Alicia blinked. "Your...?"

"Ryan Farris. I came by today because I wanted to know how the case is going."

Understanding dawned in Alicia's eyes. "Oh, right. You own the Cougars."

"And I am pleased to know that their star pitcher is in capable hands. Although Johnny didn't mention anything about you getting help from a psychologist."

Alicia's gaze was sharp when she threw John a brief look. "So... John is keeping you updated?"

"More or less. Like I said, he didn't mention the psychologist. Are you going with the good old insanity plea?"

She straightened herself to her full height and crossed her arms. "Mr. Peretti, I'm sure you'll understand I can't discuss my tactics with you. Nor any other aspect of this case. Now, if you'll excuse me?"

"Of course." Peretti smiled again. "I have a photo op waiting and a campaign manager who is very eager to get me there on time."

"It was nice of you to come by, Mr. Peretti." Her smile looked fake and didn't reach her eyes, but Peretti didn't seem to notice. She shook the politician's hand and nodded at John, her smile faltering a little as she did so. Then she turned and walked off to where a man dressed in black was standing next to a brunette in high heels.

John looked at Peretti, then back at Alicia. "I'll meet you outside in a minute," he told his candidate.

"What, all of a sudden you're not worried about me facing the press alone anymore?" Peretti winked and waved him off. "Go. I'll wait here. I promise I'll keep a low profile."

"Alicia, wait up!" John called out as he went after her. He caught up with her just when she'd reached the waiting couple. The woman must be the therapist, he realized as he took in her interested expression. But who was the guy? He looked like some sort of bodyguard or something, but that made no sense. Maybe he was a plain clothes cop involved in the case.

Alicia turned. Her smile had vanished, her features schooled in what he thought of as her politician's mask. "Yes, John?" she said, her voice as bland as her expression.

"He's worried about Farris, and asked me to keep up with the case," he said, keeping his voice down so the therapist and the cop wouldn't overhear. He took Alicia by the elbow and guided her a couple of steps away from them, for extra privacy. "That's all. I didn't tell him anything confidential, only things that have been in the paper or on TV. So don't worry. Okay?"

"Sure." There was that fake smile again. "See you later," she said, turning away from him again. Dismissing him.

The therapist had crossed one arm over her waist, leaning her other elbow on it to rest her chin in her hand as she looked at him with narrowed eyes. The cop's face seemed stoic, but his gaze was sharp, penetrating.

John stood undecided for a moment and watched as Alicia joined them again, then sighed and shook his head as he turned and walked back to where Peretti was waiting. He would just have to trust that she knew he would never spy on her, because he didn't have time to convince her right now.

§§§

Who would have thought that blending in at a courthouse could be this easy? All it had taken was a cheap suit, wire rimmed glasses and a forged passport and press card to get past security. And once inside, no one had taken another look at him. For the first time ever, he was glad that his features were so common.

Standing across the hall from the courtroom, he watched Peretti and the other guy walk towards the courthouse exit. He had no clue why a gubernatorial candidate would show up at a hearing like this one. You'd think the guy had more important things to do. But it didn't matter. Right now, the only thing that mattered was Ryan Farris. And more specifically, the question of whether the bastard would be set free soon. With a bit of luck, the three people standing just otside the courtroom would tell him that, so he wouldn't have to risk being seen in the courtroom itself.

He took a device from his pocket that looked just like a smartphone but wasn't one, and plugged the earpiece into his ear. Then he pressed the power button and, as instructed, pointed the device in the general direction of the courtroom where the lawyer had joined the other two again. He smiled when the lawyer's voice sounded in his ear, as clear as if she was standing next to him instead of thirty feet away.

"...haven't been able to reach him since. So I'm glad you could make it on such short notice."

The tall man in the black coat nodded. "Did he leave any progress reports I can use as a starting point?"

"One. It's in the case files I gave Dani. But last I heard, he was going to take a better look into Amy Farris' background. So maybe you can start there?"

"Cops haven't done that yet?"

"A courtesy check, sure. You'll find that in the case files too. But they already had their suspect, so why bother to look any further, right?"

"You think there's something there?"

The lawyer sighed and her shoulders dropped. "I don't know. I just need something to start building my defense on. We go to trial in a month, and I've got nothing. I'm happy with anything you can find – as long as it's admissible in court, that is."

"Unlike post-hypnosis statements, you mean?" The brunette standing next to the man in black raised an eyebrow and smiled. He wondered who she was. She certainly didn't look like any lawyer he'd ever met, not in that blue dress that clung to her delectable curves the way it did. But then again, he'd only ever had dealings with public defenders – and they weren't exactly known for their fashion sense.

"It's always good to have a two-pronged approach..." The lawyer looked away from the brunette and shifted her weight from one foot to the other and back. "But yeah. If we can avoid using anything Ryan says while under hypnosis..."

"Don't worry, Alicia, I'll only use hypnosis as a last resort." The other woman's smile dimmed and she bit her lip. Then she perked up again. "Besides, there's always a chance that getting him out of jail in itself will do the trick of unblocking his memory. If they release him, that is."

Hypnosis? Unblocking memories? Before he could make any sense of what they were talking about, they got to the really interesting part of the conversation.

"What are the odds of Farris getting out on bail?" The man in black asked.

"Well... It's not exactly common practice to release a murder suspect on bail in a big case like this. But it's not unheard of either, especially if the suspect has no prior convictions. And Cuesta seemed impressed with you, Dani. So all in all.. I think it looks good. But we'll know for sure in forty-five minutes. You want to go grab some coffee while we wait?"

He didn't wait to hear their replies. They were apparently done talking about the interesting stuff anyway. Tucking away his listening device as they walked in the direction of the courthouse cafeteria, he pulled out his real phone and speed-dialed.

"I'll know for sure in forty-five minutes, but it definitely looks like someone might be getting a get out of jail free card soon," he said into the phone.

§§§

Had John been using her? That was the question on Alicia's mind as she walked back into the courtroom at five and sat down behind the defense table. She remembered him asking about Ryan Farris the night before last, the same night he'd told her he wanted to be more than just a booty call to her. Maybe that was just coincidence. But then again, he'd never complained about their arrangement before. And he'd never shown any particular interest in the Farris case, either. And then there was the way he'd left yesterday morning...

But he would never spy on her, would he? Besides, they'd been... seeing each other since before she even took on this case. It made no sense... Unless Peretti had asked him to dig up information about Peter's missteps as well?

"All rise!" The bailiff called out as Judge Cuesta came in. Alicia rose and forced her mind back to the present. Dani had opted to sit in the back with Nico this time and all of a sudden, Alicia felt strangely alone. She glanced at Geneva, who looked composed and confident as always, her silky black hair pulled back in a tight ponytail, her cream-colored suit complementing her lightbrown skin, her stance relaxed. Alicia wondered if the woman ever felt nervous.

"All right," Cuesta said once they were all seated again. "Let's cut to the chase so we can all go home. It's been a long day. Based on what Doctor Santino has told me about Mr. Farris today, I have reason to believe that keeping the defendant in jail while he awaits his trial will do more harm than good."

Alicia's heart jumped. On the other side of the aisle Geneva tightened her shoulders and straightened her spine.

"However, I can not allow the suspect of a capital crime to just walk out the door either, especially given the media attention this case is receiving. So I have decided to alter the original ruling, instead of overturning it completely."

Alicia held her breath. Geneva's forehead creased. They both leaned forward slightly as Cuesta paused longer than seemed strictly necessary.

"Starting tomorrow, Mr. Farris will be allowed the privilege of spending three hours outside the Correctional Center every day, between noon and three pm, strictly for therapeutic purposes. He will be required to submit to electronic monitoring of his whereabouts during these hours, by means of a GPS ankle monitor. If the defendant fails to be back in his cell by three even once, this privilege will be revoked immediately. If he travels outside the Chicago city limits, the privilege will also be revoked."

Cuesta banged his gavel, and Alicia leaned back as she briefly closed her eyes and released her breath. They could finally get to work.

* * *

 **A/N: Oops… This chapter was a bit longer than I expected it would be. Hope it wasn't too long for you though!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Welcome, new readers! And welcome back, regular readers. Thanks for sticking with this story! This update has taken a while, sorry. I'll try to be quicker next time :)**

* * *

Alicia walked into her office the next morning to the ringing of the phone on her desk. She quickly went to pick it up. "Florrick and Associates... Hello? Anyone there?" She got nothing but the dial tone, and put the phone back down on a tired sigh. She hadn't slept very well, mostly because she'd spent the night tossing and turning and thinking about John and Peretti. Wondering why Peretti seemed so interested in the Farris case. Sure, he was the team owner, but it was the general manager of the team who had contacted her when Ryan was first arrested. She'd met with him a couple of times, and Peretti had never been present.

So why would he suddenly show up at a pretrial hearing? Was he simply worried about how Ryan's trial would reflect on his image as a politician? Or was there more to it? Could it be that he wasn't interested in Ryan so much as he was interested in Alicia? And what, exactly, had he asked John to find out for him?

The questions running around in her mind had kept her awake until two thirty. Then she had finally caved and sent John a quick text, asking him to come over the next evening so they could talk. He hadn't responded yet. But that had gotten her thinking about the the other times he'd come over, a line of thought that, although more pleasant, didn't make falling asleep any easier.

Her cell phone chimed from her briefcase as she flopped down on her desk chair. But by the time she'd opened the case and took the phone out, the caller had already hung up. She checked the caller ID and saw an unknown number. Alicia looked at her phone, her eyebrows raised. Then she shrugged. Whoever it was had her number, apparently. They'd call back if it was important. She had work to do now.

She started up her computer and went to work on finding a location Dani could use for her therapy sessions with Ryan. It needed to be private and secure and not too far from the Correctional Center, and it had to be available by noon today, which gave her exactly three hours to find it, make arrangements and have Judge Cuesta approve the location.

Thirty minutes later, she was looking at the web site of the Lakefront Health Center, a private rehab facility ten minutes away from the Correctional Center, and nodded. It looked perfect, and what was even better was that she knew one of the counselors, who had been an expert witness in one of her old cases. She reached for her phone to call him, when Stacey's voice came over the intercom.

"Alicia? Um, the police is here to see you."

"What? Why?"

"They wouldn't tell me, but..." Stacey dropped her voice to a whisper, "...I recognized one of them. He's a homicide detective. They just got into the elevator."

"O-okay... Thanks, Stacey." Alicia swallowed and tried to calm her suddenly racing heart by taking a deep breath. Her shoulders tensed and she made a deliberate effort to relax them.

They were probably here about one of her criminal cases, she reassured herself. There was nothing wrong with her children. They were alive and well and they better be getting good grades, Zach at Georgetown and Grace at Duke in North Carolina. Alicia managed to marginally relax as she pictured them living the college life.

Still, when the elevator bell dinged, she jumped and her shoulder muscles tightened again. She stood up behind her desk when a man and a woman came into her office, and gave them a smile that was meant to look professional, but felt strained.

The man looked at his partner, who reached out her hand to Alicia. In the other hand she held a thin file folder. "Good morning. I'm detective Shelley Anderson and this is my partner, Joe Lewis. We're from the Chicago Homicide Division."

"Alicia Florrick." Alicia shook Anderson's hand and took another deep breath. "What can I do for you, detectives?"

"We tried calling you earlier but couldn't reach you, so we decided to stop by instead. We need your help on something. The body of a John Doe was discovered this morning, at the lake." Detective Anderson opened the folder and took out a photograph. She held it so Alicia couldn't see what was on it. "We're wondering if you could identify him." She hesitated. "I should warn you though. It's... not a pretty sight." She handed Alicia the picture, still facedown.

Alicia swallowed, then turned it over. And gasped. Anderson was right. It was anything but pretty. Half of the man's face was gone, the other half was bloated almost beyond recognition after having been in the water for a couple of days. Cringing, she tried to hand the photo back, her mouth already open to tell the detectives she didn't know this man.

"The victim had one of your business cards," detective Lewis said. "It's all we have to go on right now. Could you please look again and tell us if the guy looks even remotely familiar to you?"

Alicia briefly closed her eyes before forcing herself to try and look past the missing parts and the gray skin. She found it was easier to just look at separate parts instead of the whole picture. Oval face, rounded jawline. Dark hair with some gray in it, bushy eyebrow, neatly trimmed short beard, also graying...

"Oh my God," she whispered, sinking down on her chair when her memory came up with a face that matched those characteristics.

"I take it that you thought of someone?" Detective Anderson asked, her voice reaching Alicia from what seemed like a hundred miles away.

Alicia looked one more time, just to make sure. Then she cleared her throat and nodded. "That's Alex. Alex Grisham."

§§§

It was a baseball stadium, not a football training facility. But the atmosphere was the same, Dani thought as she clipped her visitors badge to the strap of her purse and followed the directions the security guard had given her. There was no mural here, but dynamic baseball photographs lined the walls. Men in tracksuits walked purposefully through the long corridors and baseball fans taking guided tours gawked at them as Dani passed a gym and office doors belonging to coaches and all kinds of other staff members, until she got to the office she had been directed to.

"Doctor Santino, good morning. We spoke on the phone yesterday. Edward Foster." The team doctor that greeted her looked remarkably like a taller, but not less chubby, version of Danny DeVito. They shook hands and he ushered her into his office, where a lanky man with brown hair was standing by the window, his hands in the pockets of his mud brown trousers. He turned to face them when they entered. "This is Doctor Frank Hammond, our staff psychologist," Foster introduced him. "I thought you might want to talk to him as well."

"I do, actually. Nice to meet you, Doctor Hammond." Dani reached out her hand and Hammond shook it quickly, his mouth tightening and his eyes narrowing as he seemed to size her up. He didn't look too pleased with what he saw.

"Please, have a seat, Doctor Santino." Foster gestured towards the chairs in front of his desk. "You too, Frank."

"I'll stand." Hammond crossed his arms and leaned against the windowsill.

Foster frowned at him, but Hammond didn't budge. After long seconds of silent communication between the two of them, the team doctor turned back to Dani. "So. Doctor Santino, you said you wanted to talk about Ryan Farris?"

"Are you sure this is a good time?" Dani asked. "I can come back later if..."

"Just get on with it. I don't have all day." Hammond muttered.

"Frank." Foster admonished quietly. Then, to Dani, "This is a trying time for the whole team, as you can imagine. Frank worked very closely with Ryan, right up till the... the incident."

"I understand," Dani said, thinking she wouldn't want to be in Hammond's shoes right now. He obviously thought he'd missed something – and Amy's family would probably agree. But she knew from experience that signs that seemed very clear in hindsight weren't always as obvious when they presented themselves for the first time. She remembered the one time a patient of hers had committed suicide and the gut wrenching guilt she'd felt then. "If it helps, Doctor Hammond, I'm not here to judge your work. I just want to get more insight to Ryan's personality."

Hammond shrugged, but didn't say anything.

"Okay. Well, he used to be a good kid," Foster said, obviously trying to fill in the silence. "Kept his nose clean, followed his training schedule, was easy to be around. Then last year, he started changing. Got into fights with his team mates and the staff, missed practice, and of course his performance dropped. I couldn't find any medical reason..."

"Oh, come on. The kid had a drug problem, Ed, and you know it." Hammond straightened and strode to the door, where he turned and looked at Dani. "Farris is a junkie, Doctor Santino. Clear and simple. He hid it very well for a while, but tox screens don't lie. You want to know why he killed his wife? Because the drugs messed with his head." He opened the door, stepped through and slammed it shut behind him.

Foster sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry about that, Doctor Santino. Frank... He blames himself." He dropped his gaze to the file in front of him. "Or maybe he blames me. By the time I got the tox screen results back and discovered the drugs in Ryan's locker, it was too late." He put his index finger on the file folder and pushed it across the desk. "It was a routine test. Ironic, really. Ryan did a lot of anti drugs advocacy in his first years on the team. You know, talks at schools, telling kids to say no to drugs... Ryan doing drugs himself? I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen the test results with my own eyes." He shrugged. "He's just not the type. But still... I should have seen it right away. I thought it was just stress. You know? That's why I referred him to Frank."

"Drug addicts who have a lot to lose are generally very good at hiding their addictions from those around them." Dani thought of TK, who had been addicted to pain killers after he'd been shot a few years back. She'd noticed that something was off, but it had been a while before she'd figured out what it was. Even longer before she'd found solid proof, and when she had it had only been thanks to Nico. "Chances are he used a flush before every drug test he took. Well, before every test but the last one, that is." As she said it, she realized that bothered her. If Ryan had access to a flush – a highly illegal substance that cleaned traces of drugs out of your system, as Nico had explained to her after finding TK's flush – then why hadn't he used it that day?

"Yes, I've been telling myself that too. Maybe I'll even believe it some day. Anyway..." Foster cleared his throat and looked at his watch. "I don't mean to be rude, but I've got a patient coming in in five minutes. Do you need anything else?"

"Not right now..." Dani was taken slightly aback by the sudden change in the physician's voice, from tormented to almost chipper in the blink of an eye. But maybe that was just a coping mechanism. "Can I take the file with me?"

Foster nodded. "I've been told to cooperate with you and Ryan's lawyer in every way I can. I put my card in there. Home number is on the back, so you can always reach me if you have more questions. Now, if you'll..." A soft knock had them both look up as the door opened.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Doc. I didn't realize there was someone here already," a tall blonde man dressed in a gray and red Chicago Cougars tracksuit, his arm resting in a sling, said from the doorway.

"That's okay, I was just leaving." Dani got up and shook Foster's hand. "Thanks for your time, Doctor. I'll be in touch." She picked up the file and stepped past the athlete.

Once in the hallway with the door closed behind her, she opened the file folder and took out the top sheet, that held Ryan's tox screen results. Scanning the results as she walked through the stadium corridors in the direction of the security booth to drop off her visitors badge, she felt a frown form on her face. Wow. That was a _lot_ of drugs. She wondered how Ryan could have kept his addiction hidden for so long.

§§§

The trick to breaking and entering in broad daylight was pretending you had every right to be in places you had no business being in. Not many people could pull that off successfully, but Nico could. He entered the apartment building with his phone pressed to his ear, ignored the doorman behind the reception desk as he strode right past him, pretending to be engrossed in his conversation, and pressed the elevator button. He knew from personal experience that most people were too polite to interrupt an urgent-sounding phone call, and the doorman proved to be no exception.

He tucked his phone away as the elevator doors closed behind him and pressed the button for the twenty-first floor. His true destination was on the twenty-third floor, but he'd take the stairs for the remaining floors. No use in alerting the doorman or anyone else monitoring the building to where he was going right away. He could have asked Alicia Florrick to get permission for him to take a look at the crime scene, but that would have meant red tape. This was quicker. And also more fun.

The elevator reached the twenty-first floor and he stepped out into the empty hallway, turning left towards the staircase, his stride still purposeful. He didn't bother hiding his face from the security cameras. Once he was done here, he'd contact one of his digital security guys and have him hack into the building's database to remove all traces of this little expedition. In some cases, knowing the right people was even more helpful than knowing how to act natural when it came to breaking and entering.

He reached the twenty-third floor without any problems and had the lock picked within seconds. Taking a small signal jammer from one of the other pockets in his long black coat, he quickly disabled the standard alarm system the police had put in place when they had finished their investigation to replace Farris' own, also disabled, system. Then he quietly closed the door behind him.

He took his time looking around the living room, kitchen and master bedroom, taking in the signs of struggle. Plants had been knocked over in the living room, dirt from the pots ground into the shaggy beige carpet. One of the designer kitchen chairs had been smashed and shards of glass, presumably from a juice glass, were scattered on the kitchen counter. The master bedroom looked like nothing was out of place, except for the gun safe door being open.

Amy Farris had been killed in the adjoining bathroom. Nico stood in the doorway as he took a first look inside. Because it had been two months since Amy was killed, the blood and vomit had been cleaned up after the crime scene had been thoroughly examined by a forensic team. But he could still see the faint stains on the white wall behind the bath tub. He knew that other than that, there was probably nothing there for him to find. Still, he stepped inside and opened the vanity drawer. Inside he found the usual bathroom stuff, mostly Amy's. Hairbands, lipstick, tampons, a half empty strip of birth control pills, daycream, night cream... He closed the drawer again and took one last look around. Nothing caught his eye, so he went back into the master bedroom and started going through drawers and closets there. He wasn't looking for anything specific, but he knew that you could tell a lot about people by lookig at their personal stuff – and most people kept their most personal stuff in their bedroom.

The wardrobe looked organized. Ryan's clothes on one side, Amy's on the other. Amy's clothes did not take up more room than Ryan's and her shoe collection had been modest at best. Nico smirked when he compared this with his own wardrobe, where his collection of suits was gradually losing ground to Dani's dresses, tops and skirts. Not that he was complaining, but she seemed to have the same amount of clothes at her own house – her wardrobe didn't have any room left for his clothes. She had matching shoes for every outfit, too. He was still wondering how she had managed to pack a suitcase full of the wrong clothes, forcing her to go on a shopping spree after arriving in Chicago. Maybe she'd done it on purpose, just to mess with him...

Wait. Suitcases. There was a set of them in the corner of this wardrobe, but it looked incomplete. He would have to ask Dani to know for sure, but it looked like there used to be three and the middle one was now missing. He snapped a picture with his cell and looked around in the wardrobe, now thinking there was something off about the way Amy's clothes were distributed along the rods and shelves, too. After careful examination, he was able to put a finger on what it was, exactly. Her clothes weren't hanging nearly as close together as Ryan's and there seemed to be no winter clothes among them, whereas Ryan's side had a section of wool sweaters and dark suits. Of course she could have used a suitcase to store all her warm clothes in until she would need them, but... Nico snapped another picture.

Next up were the bedside tables. Ryan's contained nothing more than the usual clutter that seemed to accumulate naturally in places like that over the years. Among Amy's clutter were a couple of sex toys and a small adress book. Nico leafed through the adress book, but no names jumped out – not that he had expected that. He put the book back and was about to shut the drawer when his eye caught on a box of condoms. He frowned, thinking of the birth control pills he'd found in the bathroom. Picking up the box, he took one of the foil packets out and checked the expiration date. 2019. There may be a perfectly valid reason for a married woman on birth control to have a box of condoms in her nightstand, but the condoms coupled with the missing suitcase and clothes, Nico couldn't help but wonder.

§§§

"Let me fix this. Please." He looked at his father, sitting opposite him. They'd just had lunch together at their usual place. He suppressed the urge to say more, knowing that begging and pleading would only serve to make him look weak. And the old man didn't have much sympathy for those he deemed weak.

His father took his time dabbing his mouth with his napkin. "Why do you want this so much?" He asked, after carefully folding the napkin and placing it on his empty plate.

He blinked. Wasn't that obvious? "Amy is dead because of him."

The old man's eyes sharpened. "No. She's dead because you fucked up."

He bristled, but his father held up a hand to cut him off before he could speak.

"Besides, I don't need you to fix it. I have other people who can do that, people who have better access."

"People who will be connected to you instantly."

"And you think no one knows you're my son?" The old man laughed.

"I'll make sure no one knows it was me. Your other guys can't do that, not from inside." He heard the begging quality of his voice, saw his father's mouth tighten in dismay, but he couldn't make himself stop talking. "No one noticed me at the courthouse, did they? I know how to blend in. I'll make it look like an accident. Please..."

"Jesus Christ, alright already!" His father threw his hands up. "I'll give you one shot, and one shot only. You fuck up, you're done. Now get out of my sight."

He jumped up, almost knocking over his chair as he did so, and grabbed his father's hand. "Thank you. I won't disappoint you."

"That would be a first," his father muttered, pulling his hand back. "What are you still doing here? I told you to get out of my sight!"

He left the restaurant in a hurry, and there was a new spring in his step. For the first time since he'd lost Amy, life was looking a little brighter. His father was right, he'd fucked up. He wouldn't fuck up this time. Now all he needed to know was where Ryan's therapy sessions would take place. He checked his watch. No chance of finding out today, it was twelve thirty already. But he would be ready to tail the bastard when he was transported to wherever come noon tomorrow.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Again, I have to apologize for the long wait. But I have good news. Starting September 1, I will have more time to write, so I should be able to update more frequently from then on. In the meantime, enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

The Lakefront Health Centre had a beautiful garden, but unfortunately it wasn't visible from the hallway. And even the bright abstract paintings lining the walls got boring after a while. Alicia smiled at the prison guards flanking the door to the therapy room as she leaned on the wall opposite them and fidgeted with the strap of her purse. They didn't return her smile. She sighed, shifting her weight while trying to decide if she should stay or go.

Thirty minutes had gone by since the guards had delivered Ryan Farris to Dani, who had welcomed him warmly and then ushered everybody but Ryan out of the room. She had assured Alicia that there was no need for her to stay around, since they'd set up a video camera to record the entire session. Still, Alicia was reluctant to leave the health center entirely, for fear of Ryan saying something important about the case. She checked her watch again, but only five minutes had passed since she'd checked last time.

She had just decided to go get herself some coffee from the machine down the hall, when her phone chimed from her purse. Welcoming any distraction, she took the decive out, her heart skipping a beat when she saw John's name on the screen. "Hi," she said as she started walking down the hall towards the elevators and the coffee machine.

"Hey, I got your text and... Hold on." Alicia listened as John said something she couldn't make out to someone on his end and then shut a door. "Listen, I don't think I can make it to your place tonight," he said then. "Peretti insists on going to the Cougars game, and there will be lots of press there, so..."

"Oh. Okay, sure. I understand. Maybe tomorrow then?" She had reached the coffee machine and pushed the button, relieved that she was the only one there so she had privacy.

"No, tomorrow's the debate. But I have time now, we could have lunch."

"Yeah, I'm kind of in the middle of something myself right now..." Alicia bit her fingernail as she weighed her need for sleep against her need to find out if John had a hidden agenda when it came to their relationship. "You could drop by after the game tonight..." she said then.

"I don't know, Alicia – it'll be really late..."

"Wow, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were avoiding me." She was only half kidding. He must have guessed that she wanted to talk to him about Peretti. If he didn't have anything to hide, then why was he so reluctant to come over?

"I'm not avoiding you. I'm just busy. And I have an early day tomorrow, so I really want to go straight home after the game to catch at least some sleep." He paused to expell a breath. "Look, why don't you come to the stadium? Once the game starts, I won't have to be by Peretti's side all the time anyway."

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea, John... I kind of want to talk to you about Peretti, so..."

"Alicia, it's the best I can do right now, okay? You can't just expect me to drop everything and come running every time you summon me. I have a life too. Not to mention a campaign to run."

Alicia winced. "Okay. You're right. Sorry. I'll come to the stadium then. Where do we meet? I mean, I don't have a ticket for the game, so..."

"Just call me when you get there. I'll come down to meet you. Unless you want me to put your name on Peretti's guest list so you can join us in the skybox?"

"Let's not do that. I am still the ex-wife of his opponent."

"Right. Okay. See you tonight then." John hung up without saying goodbye, and Alicia rolled her eyes.

"You have a nice day too," she muttered, before putting the phone back in her purse and reached for her coffee.

"You don't like baseball?"

The man's voice coming from behind her made her jump, her hand flying up to her chest, and she spun around to find Nico leaning on the wall beside the elevators, his arms folded over his chest. "Where did you come from?"

He nodded towards the elevator, a hint of a smirk tugging on one corner of his lips.

Alicia looked from him to the elevator and back, trying to decide whether she simply hadn't heard the elevator arrive or he'd just somehow materialized out of thin air. She was leaning towards the second option, because nobody could exit an elevator that quietly. When he raised an eyebrow and tilted his head, she realized she was staring and grasped for something to say. "So... Any progress on the case?"

"Some. Looks like your former investigator was on to something..." He narrowed his eyes. "Something wrong, Counselor?"

She shook her head, trying to get rid of the image of the crime scene photo that had flashed in her mind as soon as he'd mentioned Alex. After the detectives had left, she had successfully managed to keep the memory of it at bay by focusing on her work. But she realized she needed to tell Nico about it. "They, um, they found his body this morning," she said.

Nico's eyebrows shot up. "The investigator? He's dead?"

Alicia nodded and quickly told him what detective Anderson had told her this morning. He listened intently, his impenetrable gaze never leaving her face, his mouth growing thinner with each sentence she finished.

When she was done, he took his phone out of his pocket and dialed. "Xeno, it's me. I need everything you can dig up on an Alex..." He raised his eyebrows at Alicia in question. "...Grisham," he repeated after her. Then he smirked. "Yesterday, preferably. And do you have any friends around here? I need at least two dependable men... Okay. Text me their contact info. Thanks."

Alicia had followed his end of the conversation with her arms folded and her eyebrows climbing higher with every word he said. "What are the extra men for?" she asked.

"Security."

"What will they be securing?"

"Dani. And you." His phone vibrated and he directed his attenton at the screen.

"You mean like bodyguards? Do you really think that's necessary?"

"Better safe than sorry."

"But..."

"Counselor. A dead man was found this morning, with no identification on him other than your business card." He looked up at her again, his eyes hard. "Sounds to me like someone is sending you a message."

Alicia opened her mouth again, wanting to tell him she thought he was overreacting, that Alex was a freelancer and worked more than just one case at a time. But then she thought of the text message sent to her from Alex' phone, telling her he'd be out of town. Of the fact that detective Anderson had told her that no phone had been found with the body. Hugging herself tighter, she shut her mouth again and nodded reluctantly.

Nico returned the nod and directed his attention back to his phone.

§§§

Ryan couldn't stop looking through the large window of the therapy room. He found his gaze wandering there, lingering on the view, every time he looked away from Doctor Santino, who was sitting opposite him. He'd never been partial to flowery gardens, but apparently he'd missed looking at trees and grass and wildflowers more than he'd realized. The flowery scent of the Doc's perfume helped with the illusion of being free again, even despite the handcuffs around his wrists and the GPS monitor that was uncomfortably pressing against his ankle.

Doctor Santino herself helped with that illusion too. He had almost forgotten how nice it felt to have a normal conversation. They had been talking for about an hour now, and she hadn't once mentioned the night of the murder. Or drugs, alcohol or agression. Instead, she'd told him to ask her anything he wanted to know about her first, and she'd answered the few questions he'd asked. After that, they'd discussed baseball and his career.

Of course he knew that she was assessing him and his personality, that this wasn't just meaningless chatter. The video camera recording everything they said was proof of that too. But she had a way of making it feel like it was just him and her in the room. He had never felt this way with Frank Hammond, the team shrink.

"It reminds me of home," she said softly. "The garden. I love sitting on my porch in summer and just looking at all the flowers, breathing in their smell..." she smiled. "I can't imagine living in a penthouse. I'd really miss my garden."

He shrugged. "You can plant flowers on a rooftop terrace."

"I know, but still... It just wouldn't be the same, you know?"

He nodded. "That's what Amy said. I don't know. I grew up in the city."

"And Amy was a country girl?"

"No, she grew up here too. But she loved flowers and plants. Dreamed of moving to a house with a garden one day. She bought a whole bunch of potted plants and flowers after moving in with me. Put them on the terrace. When we got married, she made a wedding bouquet out of the prettiest flowers..." His voice trailed off and his gaze wandered to the window again as he remembered how beautiful she'd looked striding towards him in her sleek white wedding dress, the bouquet of daisies and some other flowers he didn't know the names of in her hands, a radiating smile on her face when she saw him standing there with her brother Sean, both of them dressed up and feeling awkward as fuck in that stupid monkey suit... To his own surprise he felt tears burn the back of his eyes. He swallowed, cleared his throat, forced the tears back. He glanced at Doctor Santino, and found compassion and understanding in her gaze.

"I have tissues," she offered, gesturing at her purse.

Ryan swallowed again and took a deep breath. Then he shook his head. "No. Thanks. I'm okay." But he wasn't. Not really. It was like some kind of flood gate had opened in his mind. Memories of Amy came streaming out from behind it. The first time he'd seen her, at a party Sean had thrown when they were still in highschool. The night, years later, they ended up in bed together, after Sean got hurt in Afghanistan and she needed someone to comfort her. The way she moved, the way she smiled. The way she threw her head back whenever she laughed, which was often...

He winced when the memory of her laughter led to another one. One he'd been trying to forget - but that kept him awake at night.

Doctor Santino leaned forward slightly and searched his gaze with hers. "Want to tell me what you just thought about?"

The words burst from his lips, even though he hadn't planned to tell her. "She screamed and begged. That night. I still hear it in my head."

§§§

Dani found herself perilously close to the edge – but unable to let go. As soon as they'd gotten back to their hotel room, they'd jumped into the shower together, where they had ignited their passion by washing each other and stealing kisses and touches in all the right places as they lathered each other up. Then, after quickly toweling dry, they'd fallen onto the bed, their hands and mouths resuming what they'd started in the shower. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get her thoughts to shut up, couldn't focus on just being in the moment with him.

She arched her back, pressing her body firmer into the magic Nico was working with his fingers and mouth, trying to reach that point of no return, but it was no use. Her mind just wouldn't shut down. She let herself fall back against the mattress, her breath rushing from her lungs on a frustrated groan.

Nico kissed her belly and kept stroking her gently between her legs. She looked down at him to find him looking back at her with a soft smile and questioning eyes. "What's keeping your mind busy?" he asked.

She took a deep breath. "Not what. Who." The memory Ryan had shared at what had turned out to be the end of their first session kept haunting her. His wife, screaming and begging for her life. Then the sound of the gun going off and the heavy silence that followed... but she had trouble reconciling the image of Amy screaming and begging with the one of Ryan pulling the trigger regardless. She couldn't believe he could be that... cold.

Still, her own theory that it could have been an accident didn't fly either. Not if Amy had the time to scream and beg for her life. And not with what Nico had told her about the missing suitcase and clothes.

"Farris?" Nico asked, coming to lie beside her and gathering her in his arms.

"Amy, actually. I need to know more about her. But let's not talk about that now..." Dani let her hand slide down his chest, his abs. That she couldn't wind down didn't mean he didn't deserve any pleasure... But before her hand reached its destination, his stopped it. She lifted her head from his chest to raise an eyebrow at him.

"I can wait. I want you with me," he said, bringing her hand up to his lips to kiss it. "What's bothering you about Amy Farris?"

"Everything. You saw the video." They had watched the recording of the first session in Alicia's office. "Why would she leave him if their marriage was happy?"

"Maybe it wasn't. We both have firsthand experience with a marriage that wasn't what it seemed to the outside world."

"I know..." It was why she had never expected to find a ring in his pocket. "But you saw his face, right? When he talked about the wedding flowers? The love. I just don't – I can't – believe..."

"You don't believe he killed her." It was a statement, not a question. And something in his eyes made Dani sit up and cross her arms as she regarded him through narrowed eyes.

"And neither do you, apparently. What haven't you told me, Nico?"

"I don't know what to believe." He sat up too, avoiding her gaze. "There are no traces of a third person being in the penthouse that night. The evidence all points to him. And he does remember her begging. He looks guilty, Dani."

"But...?" she encouraged him. When he remained silent, she shoved his shoulder with hers, gently. "Hey. I know you're keeping something from me, Careles. Spit it out."

"It may be nothing, but..." He sighed and shook his head. "Alicia's investigator turned up dead. This morning."

"What? That's nothing to you?"

"Of course not – but it may have nothing to do with this case. The guy was a freelancer."

"Well, it's a heck of a coincidence, if you ask me."

"It is. I had Xeno do a background check. See if he had any other cases that could have gotten him killed."

"Have you heard back from him yet?"

Nico nodded slowly. "He had quite a few of those cases. But apparently, he was also friends with Amy Farris. And as an ex-cop he would know how not to trigger the alarm. Or leave any traces."

"Wow." Dani blinked as she processed that. Maybe it was because she'd never met the investigator, but an ex-cop being a coldblooded killer made far more sense than a loving husband being one did. "Did you tell Alicia?"

"I think it's best if we don't tell her yet. I want to see what else I can find out first."

"But this means that Ryan may be innocent!" She grabbed his upper arm. "We can't just keep that from her."

"Dani – we don't know Grisham was there that night, but we know for a fact that Ryan was. And even if Grisham was there with Amy and Ryan... No way of knowing who pulled the trigger, but the evidence suggests it was Ryan."

"But wouldn't Grisham know how to make it look like Ryan did it? You just said he was an ex-cop."

"Maybe. But it's a long shot."

Dani bit her bottom lip as she thought about that. He was right, they couldn't be sure. And as long as Ryan didn't remember anything other than things that incriminated him... She'd been surprised by his sudden sharing of his memory and afraid to push him into sharing more, because the foundation of trust she'd been building by talking about innocent topics first had been fragile at best. She sighed, wishing now that she would have pushed him a bit more anyway.

§§§

"Mr. Peretti! A quick question please?"

John held up a hand to fend off the reporters crowding around them as he and two bodyguards guided Peretti to the VIP entrance of the Cougars stadium. But Peretti apparently had other plans. He stopped walking and turned to face them, a Hollywood smile on his face as he posed for the cameras.

"I am happy to be here tonight to cheer on my favorite team," he answered the question from the reporter closest to them.

"The team you bought to launder your dirty money, you mean," came the voice of another reporter.

John stretched his neck to see who it was, but he couldn't make out the guy's face.

"Now, Mr. Mancini, you know better than that. My CFO has sent your editor the numbers just last week." Peretti's smile didn't waver as he directed his attention to a female reporter standing on the opposite side from Mancini, holding an iPad. "And who are you, sweetheart?"

The woman narrowed her eyes. "Sylvia Moore, Chicago Tribune. Are you a supporter of Ryan Farris?"

"Of course I am," Peretti said before John could stop him. "He's our star pitcher."

Moore smiled. "I meant in his criminal case, Mr. Peretti. Do you think he's innocent?"

This time, John was ready. "We won't comment on any questions regarding the Farris case. There is no connection between Mr. Peretti and Mr. Farris, other than Mr. Peretti being the owner of the team Mr. Farris plays for. They have never met..."

"Really? Then how do you explain this picture?" She turned the iPad in their direction.

John barely managed to keep his jaw from dropping at the sight of a younger Peretti and his ex-wife on the red carpet of what appeared to be a theater. Peretti had his arm around the shoulders of a young man that was the spitting image of Ryan Farris, only eight or nine years younger than he was now. The three of them were laughing. How could he not have seen this picture before? Was it Photoshopped? John narrowed his eyes, but Moore pulled the iPad back before he could get a good look.

Peretti's smile dimmed. "I think I'll go inside now. The game is about to start," he said, then turned on his heels, pushing his bodyguards out of the way.

"And you, Mr. Elfman? Do you care to comment?"

The other reporters had fallen silent, their own questions forgotten for now as they awaited his answer. John smiled blandly. "Mr. Peretti is known for his love of baseball. _If_ this picture is real, it shows nothing more than a baseball fan having a chance meeting with an up-and-coming baseball player."

Moore chuckled. "Oh, I can assure you it's more than that, Mr. Elfman." She winked. "Apparently my sources are better than yours." She turned and strode off, and the other reporters found their voices again and started shouting questions regarding the picture and Ryan Farris.

John resisted the urge to run inside, drag Peretti back out and force him to provide an answer, preferably an innocent one. Instead he told them all that he had no comment at this time, but would get back to them as soon as possible. Then he went inside. He reached Peretti just outside the entrance to the skybox and grabbed him by the arm.

A flash of guilt briefly shone in the candidate's eyes, before being replaced by his usual joviality. "Johnny, there you are! What's with the long face? We should go..."

"What the hell, Vince?" John interrupted in a low voice, pulling him into a corner. He blocked Peretti's path and folded his arms. "You tell me right now. What's going on with you and Farris?"


	9. Chapter 9

Alicia made a mental note never to try driving to a baseball stadium thirty minutes before the start of a game ever again. It was like every car in the city was trying to get to the Cougars stadium tonight. She could see the brightly lit stadium ahead of her, but there were still like one million cars separating her from it. Pedestrians dressed in Cougars jerseys and hoodies crowded the sidewalks. Didn't all those people have more useful things to do on their night off? She hit the brakes when the traffic light she'd been crawling towards turned red and checked her rearview mirror to see if her new escort was still with her. He was, of course. Where would he have gone?

As soon as the light turned green, Alicia pulled up onto the now empty intersection. At least the traffic ahead seemed to be dispersing, dividing into three smaller streams of cars heading for the three main parking lots and several smaller ones around the stadium. Maybe she would even get there before the game started...

The sound of an accelerating car rudely intruded her line of thought and she turned her head to the left, where the sound was coming from. Instead of a car trying to overtake her from behind, as she had expected, she saw a black pick-up truck coming straight at her. She even had time to catch a glimpse of the man driving it – brown hair, glasses – before her instincts took over and she rammed her foot down on the accelerator to get out of the way of the vehicle. Her car jumped forward as she clenched her eyes shut and braced for impact, because her mind was screaming at her that no way had she been fast enough...

There was a jolt as the pick-up truck brushed her rear bumper, and that was it. The pick-up never slowed down, but vanished into the side street opposite the one it had come from.

But Alicia didn't have time to feel relieved, as she was busy preventing a collision with the cars ahead of her. She hit the brakes and threw the steering wheel to the right, coming to a stop on the median while cars rushed by on either side. Then she lowered her head between her hands still clutching the steering wheel in a death grip and closed her eyes, her mind still flooding with images of what could have happened as her heart seemingly tried to pound its way out of her chest.

She didn't get much time to recover though, as the door on her side was yanked open and Jason Garrity, her bulky new bodyguard, stuck his head inside. "You alright, Miss Florrick?"

Alicia raised her head and tried to smile, but the result felt shaky at best. "I'm fine. Thanks." She peeled her hands away from the wheel and dragged her sweaty palms over her skirt.

Jason took off his dark sunglasses and gave her a long, examining look, then nodded and raked a hand over his military style short blonde haircut, some of the tension draining from his broad shoulders as he expelled a breath. "That was some driving you did there. Most people would have hit the brake instead of the gas."

Her smile felt more stable now, but the admiration in his voice made her face grow warm. She shrugged. "Well, I wasn't really thinking about it or anything, so..."

He nodded again. "You've got good instincts then." He took out his phone. "So, did you get a look at the driver, or the license plates?"

"Not the plates, but I did see the driver." She described what little she'd seen of the man, and Jason dialed a number and raised the phone to his ear. "But I really don't think the police will be able to..." she continued, but he wasn't listening – and apparently he wasn't even calling the police. Alicia felt goosebumps break out on her arms as she listened to his end of the conversation.

"Yeah, Garrity here. We had a situation on the way to the stadium... No, she's fine... Black pick-up trying to crash her, but she got out of the way. Illinois plates. First three digits are Kilo-five-four, but that's all I got. Male driver, brown hair and glasses... I know. He's gone now, but I'll keep a lookout, see if he shows up at the stadium... Nah, you stay with your lady, I've got this covered... Will do." Jason ended the call and put the phone away. Then he looked at Alicia. "You good to go?" he asked.

"I guess, but do you..." she rubbed her arms through the fabric of her navy jacket, trying to get rid of the goosebumps. "Do you really think he was trying to crash me? On purpose?"

"He didn't touch his brakes, never slowed down. Not even a little bit. Unless he was drunk or having a heart attack or something, that was not an accident." The tone of his voice made it clear that he didn't believe for a minute that the driver had been drunk or somehow unwell.

The goosebumps wouldn't go away, so Alicia stopped trying to make them. Instead, she brought her hands up to massage her temples as she tried to come to grips with the idea of someone deliberately trying to hurt her. Until now, she hadn't really believed there was any danger. Nico had assured her the bodyguard was just a precaution.

"You sure you're okay?" Jason asked.

Alicia took a deep breath and released it in a trembling sigh. Then she gave him a definitive nod. "Let's go," she said.

He didn't seem convinced. "Maybe it's best if you just go home..."

"No. I need to go to the stadium tonight." If she didn't talk to John tonight, she would have to wait until the weekend because they were both so busy the rest of the week. She would lose a lot of sleep worrying and wondering if he was interested in her or if he was merely sleeping with her to get information.

"Okay. Just let me know if you change your mind. And stay alert." Jason squeezed her shoulder, then closed the door and walked back to his own car. They pulled back into traffic, which was now considerably easier because most other cars had reached the parking lots by now.

Fifteen minutes later, Alicia felt her heart skip a beat when she caught sight of John waiting for her near the VIP entrance of the stadium. He looked good enough to eat, in his light gray suit and white button down shirt. But she quelled the urge to just walk into his arms and forget about the serious talk they were supposed to have.

"Hey," he said, when she reached him. He looked briefly at Jason, standing beside her, and frowned. Then his eyes sharpened as they searched her face. "Alicia? Are you alright? You look pale."

"I'm fine." She gestured at Jason. "This is Jason Garrity. He's my, uh..."

"Security assistant," Jason filled in, reaching out his hand.

"John. Elfman." John shook Jason's hand, but his eyes never left Alicia's face. She could see the questions there, but he didn't ask them. "Let's go inside," he said instead.

They followed him past stadium security and through the corridors of the staff area until he opened the door to what appeared to be a meeting room. He gestured for them to go inside, but Jason shook his head.

"I'll wait here," he said.

Alicia stepped into the meeting room, straightened her shoulders and waited for John to close the door. She opened her mouth to start talking, but didn't get the chance.

"So what's with the bodyguard? You running for office again?" He was trying to make light of it, but his eyes were worried.

"Just a precaution. Don't worry, everything's fine. Listen, John, about..."

"Alicia, come on. Tell me what's going on. Please. Is it the Farris case?"

She searched his face. His worry appeared genuine, but how could she know for sure? She just couldn't risk it. "I... I can't tell you, John. Sorry."

"You don't trust me." John looked down as he said it.

"I..."

"It's okay, Alicia, I understand. The thing with Peretti." He looked up again, his jaw clenching briefly before he continued, "He asked me to keep up with the case a couple of days ago. I was already doing that..." he held up his hand to stop her from talking at this point. "I mean I was following the news and blogs about it. I have never told him anything you told me, I promise. He didn't even show any particular interest in it, until that day when he asked me to check with you how Ryan was doing. I didn't know why he was suddenly so interested until today. Turns out Farris' uncle is an old friend of his, who's worried about his nephew. That's all there is to it."

Could that really be all? Alicia found herself wanting to believe him, badly. But she was a lawyer, so she had to ask the hard questions. Wasn't it just a little too much of a coincidence that he'd only found out the reason for Peretti's interest today? And wasn't the explanation just a little too convenient?

On the other hand, this was John. Her... friend. With benefits. Let's not forget about those. So shouldn't she at least give him the benefit of the doubt? She nodded slowly. "Okay. But, John... I think it may be best if we establish some... ground rules if we want to continue our rela—our thing."

She watched relief cross his features as he nodded. "Okay," he said. Then he looked at her expectantly.

"We won't discuss the Farris case. Or anything to do with Peter's campaign. And if Peretti asks you to find out anything about either of those topics, you tell me right away." Alicia watched him closely as he thought about that for a moment, looking for any sign of reluctance on his part.

John smiled. "Okay. I can live with that." He stepped closer, and her heart rate picked up when she felt his arms come around her waist. He leaned in until she could feel his breath on her lips, and she felt her own breathing grow faster. "But I want something in return," he whispered.

She had to swallow before she could get words out of her constricted throat. They came out a whisper. "And what is that?"

His lips brushed over hers, making her want more, but he drew back slightly. "A date. A real one, not just drinks and sex. Dinner, a movie, whatever." His mouth came down on hers again before she had a chance to react. And this time, it was a real kiss. His tongue touched her lips and she opened her mouth, all her thoughts, her initial objections to going on a date with him, melting away as she surrendered to the kiss, that was over much too soon.

"So, what do you say?" John murmured, his hands around her face so she couldn't look away.

"Okay," she breathed. "One date." And one date only, she silently promised herself. She still didn't want – couldn't risk – things between them becoming more than a simple, no strings attached fling. But one date wouldn't hurt, right?

Especially since it was more of a trade-off than a real date anyway.

§§§

John watched Alicia and her bodyguard exit the stadium, his gaze following her until she was out of sight. His heart felt lighter than it had in days. Sure, she had only agreed to one date, but even that beat the hell out of settling for just sex until she understood the difference between sex and lovemaking...

Underneath his relief, however, was the worry that made his stomach feel heavy. Not just about Alicia and how pale and shaken she'd looked when she'd first arrived here, but also about Peretti and his connection to Farris. He had told Alicia the truth about what Peretti had said. But he had left out the weird feeling of doubt that had crept up on him as he listened to the candidate's explanation earlier. He couldn't tell her about that, not before he knew for sure if there was a valid reason for his doubt.

As he walked back up the stairs to Peretti's skybox, he thought about calling that reporter, Sylvia Moore. She was part of the reason for his doubt of Peretti's story. He'd googled her name while waiting for Alicia, and found out that she wrote about crime, not about politics or sports like most of the reporters who'd been here tonight did. And she was a serious reporter, not one of those vultures out looking for the next scandal. She'd been nominated for a Pulitzer two years ago, for a brilliant piece she'd written about one of Chicago's oldest Mafia families. John even remembered reading the article back then – and being very impressed with it.

A journalist like her wouldn't get out of bed to expose a politician just for being friends with the uncle of a murder suspect, would she? Unless she had proof there was more to the connection than just that.

But what more could there be? John and his team had done their research into their candidate's past very thoroughly, and nothing weird had come up. There were no illegitimate children, no hidden affairs, no ties to shady people or companies, no past convictions, nothing. Peretti was clean as a whistle, unlike his opponent. Right up til now, Peretti had seemed like the better candidate to his campaign manager, even though he appeared as slick and phony as a gameshow host.

As he entered the door to the skybox, John heard Peretti's voice coming towards him from around the corner.

"...trying to win an election, god damn it! I can't be involved in this shit any longer..."

John looked around, but no one was paying attention to him. So he leaned against the wall of the skybox entrance area and tried to look casual as he took out his phone and pretended to type a text as he listened in on his candidate making what was no doubt just another business phone call.

"I don't give a shit! I want the whole project shut down immediately. Whatever it takes, just do it. And for God's sake, get rid of that damn shrink before..."

Peretti's voice moved away then, and John could no longer make out his words over the buzz of conversations between the other people in the room. He tucked his phone away but couldn't make himself enter the room just yet, so he stood there for a couple of minutes, thinking about what he'd just overheard. Telling himself not to get carried away by his own paranoia. It didn't have to mean anything. Peretti was a businessman. They talked about shutting down projects all the time. And as for getting rid of people... Well, they could just mean fire whoever they were talking about, right?

Yeah. It could all be explained away, just like the connection between a wealthy business man and a murder suspect. But John decided to keep his eyes and ears open anyway. Just in case.

Right now, however, he was going to call Sylvia Moore. Because whatever was going on, as Peretti's campaign manager he needed to get ahead of whatever story was being told about his candidate in order to spin it. That was his job, no matter how you looked at it. And even if the phonecall had been about something other than just business as usual, that didn't mean it had anything to do with the Farris case. The story that Moore was about to print, did.

He sighed as he took out his phone again and looked up the number for the _Chicago Tribune_.

§§§

The flickering of the muted television was the only light in the room. He would have gone to the stadium to watch the game, like he and Amy used to do, but he couldn't risk being seen in any location even remotely related to the Farris case right now. Especially when Peretti was also there. A humorless grin crossed his lips as he remembered his surprise at the gubernatorial candidate being at the courthouse yesterday. He should have realized immediately that the guy wasn't just a politician. It only made sense that the team owner would be involved in the old man's business, right?

The smile faded as he thought about what this meant. Reaching for the half empty beer bottle on the coffee table, he added Peretti's name to the list of people in his head. Ryan Farris had the top position on that list, because he was directly responsible for Amy's death, no matter what the old man said. But there were others involved too, and Peretti was one of them.

As was his father. He'd warned the old man and some of the others ages ago that, knowing Ryan Farris, things would never work out as planned. But had they listened? Of course not. And as a result, Amy was now dead. He had played a part in that himself, sure... But he'd only been cleaning up their mess, hadn't he? He'd just been following their orders. He could not be blamed for her death. He had loved her. The blame was all on the people on the list.

The list was long, and it grew longer with everyone who got involved in the case, especially those coming to Farris' defense. That's why he had decided that the lawyer had to go too. As did the therapist.

He'd set things in motion tonight, which was another reason he hadn't been able to go to the stadium. He'd been out running errands, as his old man would probably put it. All things considered, it had been a very productive day indeed.

After he'd left the restaurant, he'd been driving around in his truck, aimlessly, until it had occurred to him that he wouldn't have to wait for tomorrow morning to find out where they took Ryan for his therapy sessions. After all, this was Chicago, wasn't it? The city where everything was for sale, even confidential information. Like prison logs that recorded the comings and goings of every prisoner transport imaginable...

Taking a healthy swig from the bottle, he focused on the television again. There was nothing more he could do tonight, so he might as well watch the remainder of the game and go to bed after. No more beers after this one either. Tomorrow was going to be an exciting day at the Lakefront Health Center. He needed a clear head for that.


	10. Chapter 10

"So, you going to tell me what this is all about?" Dani narrowed her eyes at Nico, who had insisted on driving her to the Lakefront for her session with Ryan before he went off to investigate Amy and her myserious lover further. He'd told her he'd pick her up again after, which struck her as completely inefficient.

"You don't like spending time with me?" He asked, his face innocent, as he checked the rearview mirror before changing lanes.

"Nico. Tell me what's going on." Dani turned in her seat and folded her arms to glare at him. "You know I can't stand it when you hide things from me."

"Who says I'm hiding anything?"

"Fine, if you won't tell me, I'll figure it out myself – just tell me if I'm on the right track here..." Dani tapped a fingernail against her mouth. "Im guessing this sudden need to act as my chauffeur has something to do with that phonecall last night."

She'd been preparing for her next session with Ryan, trying to think of the fastest way to get his memory to unblock without using hypnosis, when the call she was referring to came in. Nico had been stretched out on the bed next to her, engrossed in reading the case files. When he answered it, she'd seen worry cloud his face before he was able to school his features – and then he got up to stand by the window and continue his conversation with whoever was on the phone in a hushed voice, his back turned to her. After that he made a call of his own, she assumed to Xeno, to give him some short instructions. He'd been very careful to keep his voice down, so she hadn't been able to overhear much. And what she had heard didn't really make much sense to her. Some sort of code and something about checking a database.

She'd asked him about the calls last night of course, but he'd just smiled and told her they were business related. She hadn't pushed it any further, because her mind had still been dwelling on Ryan and Amy.

"Dani... Just focus on getting the truth from Farris. Let me handle the rest. Can you do that?" Nico asked her now.

Dani exhaled loudly. "Have you met me?" She put her hand on his arm. "Seriously, Nico – no cloak and dagger stuff, please. If this is about Ryan in any way, just tell me."

"It's not about Farris." His tone made it clear he wasn't going to elaborate on that statement.

"Okay. Well..." They had reached the Lakefront, and he pulled into the parking lot. Dani drew her bottom lip between her teeth as she weighed her options. Push and make a big deal out of it right now, or wait until tonight before questioning him further? Because she had no intention of letting him off the hook this easily. "I guess I'll just have to trust you then."

"I guess so... Looks like Mr. Farris has arrived early," He changed the subject as he shut down the engine and nodded in the direction of the prisoner transport vehicle parked in front of the rehab center. A guard was standing beside it, smoking a cigarette. His colleague must have already escorted Ryan inside. Nico opened the door on his side and got out of the car.

"Um, where are you going?" Dani asked.

"I'm walking you inside." He shut the door and walked around to open hers.

"Why? I can walk into a building all by myself, you know." She took the hand he offered her and got out of the car.

He eyed her leopard-print Louboutin knock-offs with the four-inch heels and raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"

"Ha ha." Dani tried not to show it, but she was really starting to worry now. He was doing his best to evade her questions. He only did that when he knew he would have to lie to her if he didn't – and he'd promised her years ago that he would never lie to her. Something was definitely going on.

As she walked beside him, she noticed how his gaze constantly moved around the parking lot, as if he was looking for something. She was just about to ask him what he was trying to find, when the guard standing by the van suddenly tensed, the radio clipped to his belt coming alive with indistinctive chatter. But Nico apparently could make out the words, because he reacted instantly. He grabbed Dani's arm and stopped them both in their tracks, pulling Dani behind him.

The guard dropped his cigarette and ran into the building, talking into the radio he'd unclipped from his belt as he went. The doors closed behind him, and silence came over the parking lot once more. They waited almost a minute, but nothing happened.

"Nico, I think..." Dani started.

The doors burst open again, and Dani was briefly reminded of a wildlife documentary she'd once seen, the people coming through resembling a stampede of panicked horses – and they were coming straight at her.

She heard Nico utter a vicious curse – right before an enormous blast made glass shatter and people scream as thick black smoke and bright orange flames burst out of one of the windows on the ground floor.

Something that felt like a hot fist hit Dani, lifting her off her feet. She clenched her eyes shut and covered her head with her hands as she smacked down on the tarmac, her ears ringing and debris raining down all around her.

§§§

The damage to her car had looked worse in daylight than it had last night, so Alicia had handed it off to a mechanic at her usual auto repair shop, before getting into Jason's car and have him drive her to the Lakefront. She had some questions for Ryan. After she'd left the stadium last night, she'd remembered that Ryan had no family. The team manager who had hired her had told her that. So who was the uncle Peretti had told John about, she wondered.

They were only two blocks away from the Lakefront when they heard the explosion. Jason cursed. Alicia's hand flew up to her chest. "What...?"

"Hold on," Jason told her, right before he stepped down on the accelerator. "And call 911."

Alicia braced herself against the door as they rushed towards the cloud of black smoke rising from the direction of the health center. She managed to get her phone out of her purse, but before she could start dialing they arrived at the Lakefront.

Jason stopped the car and was out the door before she knew it. "Stay inside," he called back to her as he ran in the direction of parking lot.

Alicia took in the chaos and dialed 911 with shaking hands. "There's a fire... I mean there was an explosion..." She told the operator the adress and to hurry up, then dropped the phone back into her purse, got out of the car and started crossing the street towards the parking lot. She saw Jason kneel beside two bodies lying on the tarmac and gasped as she realized it was Dani and Nico he was looking at. She started to run, her heart pounding. Halfway across the street she saw Nico sit up, assisted by Jason, and immediately turn to Dani. Good, at least one of them was okay...

Out of nowhere came the screeching of car tires. Alicia looked up – and froze as she was hit by a sense of deja vu when she saw a black pickup truck coming at her full speed.

§§§

"Dani. Open your eyes." Nico heard his own voice as if he were under water. His heartbeat was pounding in his ears. He grabbed Dani's shoulder and felt relief flood his senses when she startled and bolted upright, giving him a wide eyed look of surprise. He checked her for visible injuries quickly but carefully, and found none. "Are you..." He started to ask her, but the sound of tires squealing had his head whipping around to the street, and it took him no time to register what was going on and jump to his feet.

But Jason was faster. The younger man ran to where Alicia stood in the middle of the street – and then hurled himself at her, taking them both down and out of the path of the black truck in one fluid motion. The pickup changed gears and took a sharp right, disappearing around the corner before Nico could get a decent look at the plates.

When he saw both Jason and Alicia get up relatively unscathed, Nico focused on Dani again. She was standing now, her mouth open and her eyes wide as she looked at Alicia and Jason. "Dani? Are you okay?" he asked.

She didn't react.

"Dani!" he said, louder, while lightly touching her shoulder.

She turned her head. "What?" she shouted.

"Are you okay?" he repeated, even louder. In the distance, he could hear sirens approach. Apparently his ears had recovered faster than hers.

She grabbed his arm, her eyes worried. "I can barely hear you!"

Nico was just about to tell her not to worry, that this was just a temporary effect caused by the shock wave of the explosion, when Alicia and Jason joined them. The lawyer looked shaken up, her normally business-like, almost uptight appearance and smooth shiny hair now disheveled, her face pale. She was hugging herself tightly, one of the sleeves of her gray jacket torn, probably from when she'd landed on the street. A nasty looking abrasion adorned her knee. But her eyes looked clear and she nodded definitevely when he asked her if she was okay.

"It was the same guy," Jason said, raising his voice over the sound of the now fast approaching sirens. "She got a clear look at the plates this time. Kilo-five-four-five-six-one-four." The bodyguard looked at Alicia for confirmation and she nodded.

Nico took his phone out of his pocket and checked it for damage, very aware of the questioning gaze Dani was giving him, and knowing she must be wondering why he'd kept her out of the loop on this. He threw her a look that he hoped said he'd explain later and texted the license plate number to Xeno. Then he looked up and scanned the parking lot.

Scattered groups of people huddled together and stared at the flames still emerging from the building. There seemed to be no fatalities, and the injuries he saw looked minor for the most part. The fire seemed to be contained to the ground floor. A fire truck had arrived, a small group of firemen now busy connecting a hose to a standpipe while a second group of them got ready to enter the building.

Nico directed his eyes to the prisoner transport vehicle. The sliding door on the side of the van was open and he could see one of the guards tending to someone sitting on the footboard. Farris or the other guard?

"Where's Ryan?" Dani, who had apparently followed his gaze, suddenly asked.

Before Nico could stop her she'd taken off, jogging towards the van without looking back to see if he'd follow. He did, of course. When they reached the van the second guard just came around it, holding a first-aid kit. That must mean Farris was the one who had gotten hurt.

"Ryan? Are you hurt? Ryan... Is he okay?" Dani asked.

The guard stepped past her, ignoring her, and Nico watched her eyes narrow and her lips purse. But the annoyed expression vanished again immediately and was replaced with worry when she got her first good look at Farris.

Nico followed her gaze. The pitcher was sitting on the footboard, holding his right arm against his body, supporting it with his left. Blood coming from a gash on his temple covered the right half of his face. His teeth were bared and his eyes clenched shut in a grimace of pain.

"Ryan?" Dani asked again, moving to his side when Farris opened his eyes and gave her a dazed look. But the guard holding the first-aid kit stepped in front of her, blocking her path. She folded her arms and straightened her spine to give him a glare. "Get out of my..."

"Dani. Look at him." Nico put his hand on her rigid shoulder. "He's sitting up. He's conscious. Let's let these guys do their job."

She didn't look back at him. "Their job is to keep him safe. Not patch him up. He needs a doctor."

"We'll take him to the hospital wing as soon as we get him back to the Center." The guard handed his colleague the box with emergency supplies and they went to work on putting Ryan's arm in a sling and cleaning the cut on his forehead. It was like Dani and Nico didn't exist anymore, at least to them.

"Hey! You listen to me now..." Dani started, and Nico squeezed her shoulder in warning. He knew she was worried about her patient, and that she was speaking louder than necessary only because of her ears hadn't recovered yet, but he didn't want her saying things to the guards that she'd regret later on. After a moment's hesistation, he felt some of the tension leave her shoulder. "I'll come see you later today, Ryan," she said. Shaking off Nico's hand, she turned and walked back to Alicia and Jason.

As Nico fell in step beside her, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket with an incoming text.

§§§

He stood at the outer edge of the small crowd that had gathered across the street and watched as two policemen, who had just arrived in a cruiser followed by an ambulance, secured the scene of the explosion with yellow tape. He had his hands in his pockets, his right one wrapped tightly around the small remote detonator he'd used to make the bomb go off. On the outside he looked just like the other spectators, but on the inside he felt like he was boiling.

Not even one.

Farris. The lawyer. The therapist. His gaze wandered from one to the other. All still very much alive. He had failed.

Again.

He felt the edge of the remote control bury itself into his palm as he clenched his hand into an even tighter fist as he remembered his father's words.

 _I'll give you one shot, and one shot only. You fuck up, you're done._

Well, he had fucked up. But he was far from done, no matter what his old man said. Next time he'd just have to take a more direct approach. He hadn't touched a gun since the night Amy died, but maybe it was time to get over the aversion towards firearms that was no doubt a result of that event.

As he stood there contemplating his next steps, he felt the hairs on his arms and neck stand up. Someone was looking at him. He tried to be inconspicuous about looking around, but as soon as his eyes landed on the man in black standing next to the therapist, he felt his entire body go rigid as his heart started pounding in his ears. The man was looking right at him. He'd been made.

He turned and hurriedly walked away, pushing bystanders out of the way and breaking out into a run as soon as he was free from the crowd. He turned right and ran around the corner as his left hand came out of his pocket. He pressed the button on his key fob and saw the reassuring flashing of the lights of his truck, parallel parked along the curb on the end of the block. Risking a glance over his shoulder, he saw no one. Maybe, just maybe, the man in black hadn't followed him immediately. But he wasn't going to take any chances. Instead of slowing down, he picked up his pace.

When he reached his car he was panting, but he didn't take the time to catch his breath. Quickly opening the door, he slid behind the wheel and wasted no time in starting the engine and pulling into traffic. By the time he saw the man in black appear in his rearview mirror, he was half a block away – just one car among many in the noon rush hour.

§§§

Dani's ears were gradually recovering from the blast, but instead of relief she felt increasing irritation as she listened to Alicia's story about how a black pickup truck, apparently the same one that had tried to run her over just minutes ago, had nearly crashed her car last night.

Her irritation wasn't directed at Alicia, however.

Because she wasn't stupid, she had quickly added this new information to last night's mysterious phonecalls and she knew that this was what Nico had been keeping from her this morning. She turned to give him an annoyed glare – and stared at his back when he took off running, his coat billowing out behind him. She sighed and then glared at him anyway, but it was wasted as he vanished around the corner without looking back.

"Where's he going?" Alicia asked, surprise evident in her tone.

"I have no idea. But he better get back here soon, so I can slap him." Taking in Alicia's wide-eyed look, she clarified, "For not telling me about this." A cough from the big blonde guy who had saved Alicia had Dani looking in his direction.

"I think he had his reasons for not telling you," the man said.

"He always does. They're usually not very good ones if you ask me," she stated. Then she raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm sorry, who are you again?"

"Jason Garrity. A friend of Xeno." He offered her his hand.

"Dani Santino." She shook his hand and gave him an expectant look. "So, Jason, want to tell me what's going on here?"

"I'm not sure if I'm at liberty to share that information," he said. His blue eyes took on an amused twinkle when she groaned in frustration. "If you want to slap me, go ahead. Just don't leave permanent marks. My girlfriend always tells me how she likes my pretty face."

"You flirting with my lady, Garrity?" Nico's voice sounded from behind Dani.

"She was getting ready to slap me for keeping information from her, actually," Jason told him.

Dani turned and smiled sweetly at Nico. "So when, exactly, were you going to introduce me to Jason? And, you know, tell me about the possible killer on the loose?"

"Apparently, you already know," he said.

"No thanks to you! _Who says I'm hiding anything_ ," she scoffed, mimicking his words from the drive over here.

Nico shook his head. "Dani, can we do this later? There are more urgent matters at hand now." He looked around the parking lot, where the firefighters were still busy extinguishing the flames. The paramedics were tending to cuts and bruises, and two police officers were busy taking statements.

Dani felt the fight leave her. He was right, this was not the time to delve into her own issues with his secrecy. She nodded, part of her mind wondering why this had suddenly become such a big deal to her as she watched him take his phone from his pocket. She knew what kind of man he was, didn't she? This was hardly the first time he'd kept something important from her because he thought he needed to shield and protect her at all cost. It was one of his more frustrating character traits, one that came with his past jobs. One that she'd known about even before they'd gotten involved romantically.

"Counselor?" Nico asked, looking up from his phone.

Alicia startled slightly, as if she'd zoned out from the conversation and was only now coming back. "Yes?"

"Do you know anyone by the name of Sean Richardson?"

"His name sounds familiar..." Alicia said, slowly nodding. "Why?"

"The license plate number of the pickup belongs to him. Apparently, he lives in Springfield..."

Dani felt a slight jolt rush through her body as she remembered something. "Nico – did you say Sean?"

He nodded, his eyes questioning.

"Amy Farris had a brother named Sean. Ryan told me Sean had visited him in prison."

Alicia started nodding fervently, even before Dani had finished her sentence. "That's right, I forgot. Amy's maiden name was Richardson. But why would her brother try to kill – never mind, stupid question. I'm defending the guy he thinks killed his sister... Oh." The lawyer paled. "Do you think he... Was he the one sending me the message? You know, the business card?"

"Business card? What business card? And what message?" Dani asked, but they both ignored her. She looked at Jason, who shrugged. She felt her irritation return. Not the time or place, she reminded herself. But she was determined to give Nico a piece of her mind as soon as they were alone again.

"Call the detectives," Nico ordered Alicia. "If we're lucky, he's still in the area."


	11. Chapter 11

Nico stood to the side of the parking lot and watched Dani comfort a traumatized woman. They had wandered away from the crowd for a little more privacy, but Nico made sure to keep them in his line of sight constantly, even while his gaze searched the scene for any signs of danger.

The flames had died down considerably, but the stench of smoke still hung thick in the air outside the Lakefront Health Center. Most of the spectators had left, their lunchbreaks over. Paramedics were treating some minor injuries, but most had been taken care of. The prisoner transport vehicle had left ten minutes ago, just when an unmarked police car had arrived, bringing the two detectives Alicia had called. They were currently talking to her and Jason, but the woman detective had glanced Nico's way a couple of times.

And now, she sauntered over to where he stood. "So, I finally get to meet the great Nico Careles." He tilted his head in question, and she smiled. "Your reputation has preceded you. Does the name Rod Anderson sound familiar?"

Nico dug in his memory and came up with the vague image of a dark haired boy with an open smile he'd known during SEAL training. They hadn't been very close, but their shared experiences during drills had created a bond – as it had with all the others in his year. And if he wasn't mistaken, they'd even shared a beer or two later on in their careers. "As a matter of fact it does," he said.

"I'm his wife. Shelley Anderson."

"Lucky guy." He smiled as he shook her hand and held on a bit longer than necessary, figuring it wouldn't hurt to flatter her a bit. It may come in handy should he find himself in need of insider information on the case later on.

"Nah, I'm the lucky one," she said, withdrawing her hand.

"If you say so..." He allowed his gaze to slowly travel up and down her body, but not so obvious that she'd consider it completely inappropriate. Her hair was darker than Dani's, her eyes were green instead of brown and her curves were slightly fuller, which gave her a softer appearance. But she was the same height and her eyes held the same amused spark Dani's would in similar circumstances, as she looked up at him.

"Okay, big guy – consider me buttered up," she said, a hint of laughter in her voice. "Can we move on to serious topics of conversation now?"

He chuckled. Even the way she'd called him out on his intentions reminded him of Dani. He considered responding with more banter, but movement in the corner of his eye told him they were no longer alone. Turning his head, he found Dani walking up to them.

"Hi," she said, inserting herself between him and the detective, forcing the latter to take a small step back. "I am Doctor Danielle Santino."

"Shelley Anderson." Anderson offered her hand, and Nico was positive that only he picked up on Dani's slight hesitation in accepting it.

He wondered what was going on with her. Her demeanor been much more distant than usual after she'd learned about the attempt on Alicia's life yesterday. Of course he realized she thought he should have told her about that sooner, but compared to how she had acted on similar occasions in the past there was something different in the way she handled his keeping his cards close to the vest today.

"I need to steal Nico away for a moment," Dani said, withdrawing her hand as she continued, "We won't be long."

"Sure, go ahead," Anderson said. "I'll be over there when you're ready to exchange information, Mr. Careles." She gestured to where her partner was still talking to Alicia and Jason.

"Sounds like you'll be stuck here for a while longer," Dani observed as she watched Anderson walk away.

"Yeah, sorry. I know you want to go see Farris as soon as possible," he said.

"Oh, that's okay," she said, surprising him. "I'm going there now, in fact."

Like hell she was. Not without him there to keep her out of harm's way. But he figured it wouldn't go over well if he told her that. So he tried the reasonable approach instead. "Dani, you don't have a car here."

She nodded. "I know. But Jason does. He offered to drive me there."

"He did?"

"Yup. And since the detectives aren't done with Alicia yet either, I figured we could switch bodyguards. You can drive her to wherever she needs to go next and I'll go with Jason. See? All taken care of." She patted his arm.

"I don't think that's..."

"Nico." She held up a hand to stop him from saying more. "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. I'm going with Jason. Unless you don't trust him, that is. But in that case, maybe you should fire him."

She had him there. And judging by the smug look in her eyes, she knew it too. Nico trusted Xeno with his life – and Dani's too, if it ever came to that. That meant he had to extend the same amount of trust to Jason, because Xeno would have never recommended him if he didn't trust the guy with his own life. He sighed. "Call me when you're done with Farris," he said, thinking he could go pick her up and hand Alicia back to Jason when he did.

"Maybe I will." She raised her hands and pulled his head down to drop a quick peck on his mouth. He bit back a chuckle when he realized her eyes were seeking out detective Anderson as she did so. "See you later," she said. Then she turned to walk away.

Nico grabbed her arm to stop her, and when she looked back at him he made sure she saw he was being serious. "Call me," he said. When he saw her eyes narrow, he quickly added, "Please. I don't want to be worrying about where you are. Not with Richardson still out there. Okay?"

After a moment's hesistation, she nodded once, briskly, and he let go, expecting her to storm off immediately. Instead, she hovered for a moment, biting her lip.

"I'm not made of glass, Nico," she said then, in a softer voice than he'd heard her use all morning. "I do know how to take care of myself." Only then did she turn and walk away.

He watched her exchange a few words with Alicia and tell the detectives goodbye before she and Jason took off towards his car. As they left, he noticed Anderson watching them go, a sympathetic smile on her face. Apparently the detective sensed him looking at her, because her gaze found his then and she shook her head, her smile turning into a knowing smirk. Nico let out another sigh before he went to join her, Alicia and the other detective, who introduced himself as Joe Lewis.

"We've put out a statewide BOLO for Richardson's car," Anderson informed him. "But there's no sign of him yet."

"Did you see in which direction he took off?" Lewis asked.

Nico shook his head. "Too many people on the sidewalk. By the time I made it around the corner, he was already gone."

"But you're sure it was him?"

"Not a hundred percent, no."

"What? But..." Alicia started.

"I know that the black pickup was his. I don't know if the guy I chased was Sean Richardson."

"But you suspect it was. Why?" Anderson asked.

Nico shrugged. "I don't believe in coincidence."

"Yeah, we're going to need a little more than that," Lewis told him.

Nico nodded to the firefighters. "This is linked to the Farris case. We have Farris in that building at the time of the explosion. Right after that we have a car owned by Sean Richardson, Farris' brother-in-law, try to run over Farris' lawyer. He flees the scene in the same direction as the guy I chased only minutes later. That guy has brown hair and glasses, just like Richardson."

Lewis didn't look convinced. "I just talked to one of the firefighters, and he says they think the explosion was caused by a gas leak."

"Even if it was, it wasn't a gas leak that killed my investigator and left him with nothing other than my business card on him," Alicia said.

"But we have nothing linking him and Grisham together either – other than Grisham working for you, among a dozen other clients," Lewis countered. "And as you know, we are working on the Grisham case. Not the Farris case. So..."

"There's another link," Nico said, and three pairs of questioning eyes turned in his direction. He focused on Alicia's. "It would seem that Grisham knew Amy Farris."

She frowned. "What? You mean, in person? Before she died?" At his nod, she shook her head. "But... I don't understand – he never said anything about that to me. Are you sure?"

"Apparently, they were... friends," Nico stated carefully. "And that means he probably knew both Sean Richardson and Ryan Farris too."

Anderson whistled and looked at Lewis. "Sounds like a solid link to me. At least solid enough to put out an APB to go with that BOLO."

He nodded. "Let's go find Mr. Richardson. Thanks, Mr. Careles, Miss Florrick."

Nico gave him a nod of acknowledgement, then raised his eyebrow at detective Anderson. "I seem to recall you mentioning an exchange of information earlier?"

She grinned – and then she patted his arm, like Dani would have done. "I'll know where to find you as soon as I have information I can share."

He scowled as he watched them walk off, then he shook his head. Of course she wasn't ging to share information on an ongoing investigation just like that. He turned to look at Alicia, who was looking back at him with her arms folded and her head tilted.

"Friends, huh?" She said. When he gave her a questioning look, she elaborated, "Alex and Amy. You paused before you called them friends. You think they were lovers?"

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"I see," she said, when it became clear to her that he wasn't going to say more. They started walking to where he'd parked his car, since there was nothing left for them to do here. "So... Just out of curiosity, when were you going to tell me about that?" Alicia inquired, after a minute of silence.

Nico found himself wanting to roll his eyes in a very Dani-like way, but refrained. He did wonder, however, if there was something in the air today that made women around him extra inquisitive.

§§§

The lobby of the Peretti Enteraintment Group headquarters was empty save for John and Peretti, and John thought that was a good thing. It meant there was no one around to witness the argument they were about to have. "You didn't think this was worth mentioning last night?" He fought to keep his voice down as he held up the newspaper, which showed the picture of Peretti and Farris on the front page, next to the picture of a man apparently called Vito Farese.

"Johnny, relax." Peretti said, obviously trying to placate him. "I severed ties with him years ago. Don't worry about him."

"I shouldn't be worried about the fact that you were friends with a mobster? Really?" John threw the paper down on the floor, but resisted the urge to stomp his foot on it. "We've been pitching you to the voters as the candidate with the spotless reputation, the candidate who couldn't be corrupted. The living proof that the American Dream is real. Do you have any idea how this is going to affect the polls?"

"Come on, Johnny! Lighten up, will you? It's not like _I'm_ a mobster! Vito and I just grew up in the same neigborhood. We played cops and robbers together, but I swear that was as illegal as it got." Peretti put his arm around John's shoulders and guided him towards the elevator. "Besides, I've got a great campaign manager, right? Huh? You'll find a way to spin this, I'm positive. Now, go do your job. I've got some business to attend to – don't worry, it's all strictly legal!" After winking at his campaign manager, the candidate strode off as if he didn't have a care in the world.

John raked a hand through his hair as he watched him go, trying to decide if he should go after his candidate or not. In the end, he decided not to. He had a busy day, doing last minute preparations for the debate, trying to find a way to make Peretti being friends with an organized crime boss look as innocent as Peretti seemed to think it was, and fending off the press until the debate started. Plus, he mused as he turned to the elevator, with Peretti gone he would have a chance to do a little snooping around in the guy's office. He wasn't sure what he thought he'd find there, but if Peretti was hiding anything, he needed to know. And so did Alicia – if whatever it was had any bearing on her case.

As he rode up in the elevator, John tried to call her, figuring she must have seen the picture in the paper by now. With her accusation of him spying on her still fresh in his memory, he feared she would take one look at it and then jump to the conclusion that he had known all along. His call went to voicemail, and he left her a message. Stepping from the elevator, he glanced at Peretti's office. The candidate's personal assistant Mike, an MBA student interning at Peretti Entertainment Group, was sitting in his usual spot behind the front desk. The guy looked bored, but vigilant. He probably wouldn't let anyone into the office just like that.

John stepped into his own office first and grabbed the nearest empty file folder from his desk. He put some discarded speech drafts in it, slid the entire thing into an envelope that he sealed before scrawling the name Vito Farese on it. Then he took out his phone again and walked back out, pretending to have Peretti on the line as he prayed that no one would call him and blow his cover.

"Sure, I'll take care of it right away, Vince," he said, hastily approaching Mike's desk. The intern immediately sat up straighter when John threw him a worried look. "But are you sure a courier wouldn't be...? Okay. Don't worry, I'm on it."

"What's going on?" Mike asked, as soon as John tucked his phone away.

John raked a hand through his hair, hoping he wasn't overdoing the part of the worried campaign manager. "You know about the picture in the Tribune this morning? Of Vince with Vito Farese?"

"The mob boss." Mike nodded, his eyes taking on an interested gleam. "What about it?"

"Well, Vince just got a call from a reporter, saying that they found more proof of this so-called friendship." John held up the file folder. "This is a file I created overnight, that proves they broke ties long ago. I need you to go show it to the reporter. His name is... Uh, Mancini. Patrick Mancini." He told Mike the first name he could think of. "I'd do it myself, but I'm swamped. You know, working on the debate. So..."

"Mancini... He's with the Middleton Herald, isn't he?" Mike folded his arms and frowned. "That's like a two-hour drive. I don't have time for..."

"He's in Chicago, actually," John cut him off. "For the debate. He's staying at – at the Sheraton." Again, he threw out the first name that came to mind and hoped Mike wouldn't pick up on his slight pause.

Mike considered that. Then he reached out his hand. "Okay, I'll go. But you owe me." He gave John a shrewd look. "Because Vince would have called me, not you, if he had really wanted me to handle this. So if you don't want me to rat you out to him..."

"Thanks, Mike." John smiled and handed the assistant the file. "If you could get over there as soon as possible..."

Mike winked. "You want me back here before Vince returns, I get it." He stood and stretched lazily. "Well, let's get this over with then," he said.

John watched him step into the elevator and glanced around to make sure no one saw what he was doing before he turned, took a deep breath, and opened the door to Peretti's office. Sending Mike to the Sheraton had bought him around thirty minutes, depending on traffic. He'd use fifteen of those to take a quick look around while trying to think of a good excuse to call the intern and tell him to get back here, before he found out Mancini wasn't there.

§§§

"So, you have a girlfriend?" Dani asked Jason as they walked from the car to the Metropolitan Correctional Center. She'd figured she might as well get to know him a little better, considering she wanted him to be her escort for the next couple of days. She wasn't going to put up with Nico's secrecy, his overprotectiveness, any longer.

"Fiancee actually. Prettiest girl in the world," Jason said, his round face lighting up.

"Oh, congratulations! When's the big day?" They stopped to put their names in the visitor's log and then went through the security checkpoint.

"October fifth."

"Wow – so you are deep into wedding planning and tux fitting when you're not playing bodyguard, huh?" Dani smiled, because the sparkle in his eyes told her how much he was looking forward to it. But on the inside, she felt the beginning of unease. The wedding talk reminded her of the ring she'd found, the question that Nico hadn't asked and she hadn't answered yet – not even to herself. She really needed to delve into that. But not now.

"Tux fitting, yes. And cake tasting. I have been banned from the planning part." Jason chuckled. "Think that has something to do with my suggestion we get married in Vegas. You know, in a cheesy chapel, with an Elvis impersonator..."

Dani giggled, as she was sure he had intended her to. "Well, I think it's a good thing that you've been banned from the planning part then," she told him as they approached the hospital wing. A steel door with a small window of reinforced glass was buzzed open and she caught it before looking back at him. "Um, Jason? I think it's best if you wait here. Ryan doesn't know who you are, so..."

"Sure thing," he said.

"Really? Just like that?" Dani had been bracing herself for a speech about safety, like Nico would probably have given her.

"Well, we're inside a prison facility. I doubt Richardson will show up here. And Farris has his arm in a sling. What can go wrong?" He shrugged. Then he smirked knowingly. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell the boss, though. He texted me on the way here. I'm not supposed to let you out of my sight."

"My lips are sealed," Dani promised him, pretending to zip up her mouth and winking, before going through the steel door.

A guard was waiting to escort her to Ryan. "How's he doing?" she asked, but the guard ignored the question, ushering her along past a couple of cell doors the color of vomit, before halting in front of the third door. A medical chart was hanging on the wall beside the door, Ryan's name at the top. The guard quietly spoke into his radio and the door opened automatically to reveal a hospital bed in the middle of a surprisingly light cell.

Ryan was lying in the bed, his face pale but the blood cleaned off and the wound on his temple bandaged. His arm was resting on top of the covers. His eyes were closed, but when Dani approached, he opened them. "Hi, Doc," he said.

"Hi, Ryan. How are you?" Dani looked around, trying to locate something for her to sit on.

"I've been better. My head is killing me."

"There's a stool under the bed," the guard, hovering in the doorway, said.

Dani looked back and smiled. "Thanks. Could you give us some privacy now, please?" She proceeded to ignore his grunt and tried not to shiver at the sound of the door falling shut, as she pulled out the stool and sat down. "So – what happened?" she asked Ryan.

He shrugged one shoulder. "Shard of glass cut me when we were running out and I tripped and fell on my arm. I'll be fine." He paused. "Was it a bomb?"

"Why do you ask?" Dani crossed one leg over the other and tilted her head.

"Just tell me. It was, wasn't it? They tried to kill me."

"They?" She leaned forward. "Who do you mean by that?"

"I don't know. Just... Someone." He sat up, clenching the sheet in his uninjured hand. "Just give it to me, Doc. Don't sugarcoat it. Someone planted a fucking bomb there because they wanted to kill me. Right?"

"Who would want to kill you, Ryan?" Dani didn't move a muscle.

"Well, Sean, for starters. He told me he'd kill me if he ever got the chance."

"Anyone else?" Dani asked. "Then why did you say, _for starters_?" she asked when he shook his head. "That sounds like you think there are more likely candidates. Tell me about them."

"I can't." His gaze dropped to the bed.

"Can't? Or won't?"

"Can't, dammit! Sean is the only one I can think of, okay? So, did he plant the bomb or not?"

"The fire department says the explosion was caused by a gas leak," Dani told him, and watched his shoulder slump in relief. "But Sean was there," she added then. "Or at least his car was."

"Shit." Ryan dropped his head in his hand. "So did they arrest him?" He looked up again.

"I don't think so."

"Good. I don't want him to go to jail."

"Because you don't want him to come after you here?"

"After what I did to Amy?" Ryan shook his head. "He has every right to come after me. But..." He sighed. "Sean is a good guy, Doc. My best friend. He's a fucking war hero! I don't want him to throw away his life just like that."

Dani pursed her lips, wondering what he'd say if she told him that 'good guy' had almost run over Alicia. But instead of telling him, she decided to try and catch him off guard with her next question. "So what _did_ you do to Amy, Ryan?"

"You know what I did. I killed her." Unfazed.

"Ah, so you remember now?"

"No. But I know."

Dani folded her arms and straightened herself on the stool as she decided to ignore that last statement. It was time to stop stalling and start pushing. "Then what do you remember?"

"I already told you. The screaming. The begging. Other than that? Nothing."

"There must be something." When he shook his head and dropped his eyes again, she stomped her foot, making his head come back up. "You're not even trying, dammit! Come on, Ryan. What did you have for breakfast that morning?"

"Same as always," he bit out. "Eggs. Bacon. Juice. So what? What does that have to do with..." His eyes widened.

"What, Ryan? What did you just think of? Tell me." Dani kept her voice demanding.

"We – Amy and I – we fought..." he said, slowly. "About..." His eyes took on a faraway stare as he tried to remember. "I can't remember. But it was one of those stupid little things," he said, eventually. "You know, like maybe she told me to take out the garbage and I forgot... But that wasn't it. It was..." He pounded his fist into the blanket. "Dammit, I can't remember!"

"Don't worry about it now. It will come back to you," Dani assured him, softening her voice as she leaned forward and put her hand on his bicep. "What did you do after breakfast?"

"I took off, I suppose. I think I was late for practice. And... I had an appointment with the team shrink, I guess, since it was Thursday. But I don't really remember anything after breakfast."

"Well, it's more than you remembered so far, isn't it?" Dani said, squeezing his arm in encouragement. "Do you mind if I go talk to Doctor Hammond? To find out if you showed up for your appointment and what you talked about that day? I'm thinking maybe that will help fill in some of the blanks."

"Sure, I guess..." Ryan fidgeted with the sheet. "But I think I can already tell you what he's going to say." He looked at her, and she raised an eyebrow. "He's going to tell you I am a junkie. An agressive one. Which is a fucking joke, if you ask me."

"How so?"

"Doc. I'm an athlete. I know that people think all athletes do drugs these days. And I know the police found a whole lot of drugs in my blood after they arrested me, but..." He paused, searching her eyes with his. Then he continued, adamantly, "I never touched drugs in my life. Not even once. Hell, I never even smoked a cigarette."


	12. Chapter 12

Most of the building was dark, but the windows on her floor were lit. John briefly closed his eyes in relief when he saw the yellow light peek through the blinds of her living room. The video he'd seen on YouTube just before the debate had kept playing through his mind. Alicia, crossing the street. A black pickup coming out of nowhere. The bodyguard taking her down as the car shot past them.

He'd already had a hard time focusing on the debate after what he'd found in Peretti's office, but the YouTube vid certainly hadn't made it better. And so, as soon as the debate was over, he'd left Peretti in the care of Mike and some other staff members, jumped in his car and driven over here.

He felt his jaw clench and his hands ball themselves into fists as he stood there, looking at the light behind her window and trying to decide if he should go up there or not. Apparently, she was home. Apparently, she wasn't hurt too bad. Or she wouldn't have been home.

And apparently, she didn't want to see him right now. Or she would have called him back. After all, he had left three voicemail messages over the course of the day, asking her to get back to him. She hadn't called, hadn't even sent him a text message.

John was just about to decide to leave her in peace when he suddenly felt a presence behind him. Before he could turn his head, a hand that felt like it was made out of steel clamped down on his shoulder.

"Want to tell me what you're doing here?" A man's voice said. His tone was friendly, conversational, but John could hear the same steel underneath it that was currently crushing the bones in his shoulder.

John grunted and turned around as best he could, as much to get away from the agonizing grip on his shoulder as to be able to look the stranger in the eye. He blinked in surprise when he saw the guy's face. "Oh. Hey, it's you. You're a cop, right? I saw you with Alicia the other day. At the courthouse?"

The man in black just scowled at him.

"So, yeah, you can let go now. It's okay. I'm a friend of Alicia's?" John tried a friendly smile, but it felt more like a grimace.

"Really?" The man raised his eyebrow. "She didn't seem very happy to see you at the courthouse."

"Yeah. I know. We had a... misunderstanding. But that's all cleared up now. I came to see if she's okay. You know, after what happened today... Ow, Jesus!" The man's hand had just clamped down harder.

"What do you know about what happened today?"

"Nothing! That's why I wanted to see if she's alright! I saw a YouTube video, that's all. I tried calling her, but..."

The man dug his free hand into the pocket of his black coat and produced a phone. He unlocked it, looked up a number and dialed. All while keeping his grip on John's shoulder. "Counselor? It's Nico. I found a man lurking outside your building who's claiming to be your friend... Elfman... You sure? Okay." The man ended the call and released John's shoulder. "She says to send you upstairs."

John massaged his shoulder, but resisted the urge to throw the guy a dirty look. "So, maybe we can start over," he said, reaching out his hand. "Hi. I'm John Elfman. And you are?"

"Not a cop," the man deadpanned. Then he shook John's hand and smirked. "Nico Careles. She hired me as an investigator. You should probably put ice on that." Withdrawing his hand, he gestured at John's shoulder.

"Yeah, thanks for the tip." John couldn't help the sour look on his face. "So what happened to the other investigator?"

"He… became unavailable." There was something in his tone that made John feel uneasy. But before he could ask more, a car drove into the street from around the corner, and Careles tensed as it drove up to them. Then he relaxed again. "Shift change," he told John.

The car parallel parked behind a black sedan and the door on the passenger side opened to let out the short brunette that had also been at the courthouse. She took one look at them standing there and rolled her eyes. Then she narrowed them at Careles. "Don't tell me you hurt Alicia's friend," she said.

"Okay, I won't tell you." Careles shrugged. "What are you doing here? I told Jason you two should wait for me at the hotel."

"Nico..." The brunette shook her head. "He doesn't even look like Richardson a little bit."

Richardson? John looked from her to Careles, but before he could ask either of them who she was talking about, the woman smiled at him and reached out a delicate, French-manicured hand.

"Hi. I'm Dani Santino. I hope Mr. Macho didn't do any permanent damage," she said.

"John Elfman. And I think I'll live." They shook hands and he felt like she was sizing him up, so he returned her inquisitive look with one of his own. Her designer jeans, sequined top and tan suede jacket didn't exactly scream therapist, but then he'd never really met a therapist before, so what did he know? She'd pulled her caramel hair back in a ponytail, but a few strands had escaped and were now curling around her face. It made her look younger than he knew she must be.

"Good to meet you. Alicia doesn't seem to have a lot of friends. And I'm thinking she could use some support tonight. That's actually why I'm here," she directed that last statement at Careles. Her eyes found John's again and she continued, "But now you're here, and..."

"...And she's probably wondering why he's not upstairs yet," Careles broke in, amusement in his tone. "She told me to send him up minutes ago."

"Oh. Okay. Well, I won't keep you any longer then." She looked back at Careles. "It's time for us to go anyway. We um... We need to talk."

"Jason drove you here?" Careles asked.

"Yes. He said he'd wait here for the other guy to take over guard dog duties and you can take me back to the hotel. So let's go." She turned on her heel and walked to the black sedan. When she reached it, she turned and smiled at John. "It was really nice meeting you," she said, and he answered her smile. Then she opened the door and got in.

"Just one more thing," John stopped Careles when he wanted to follow her. "Who's Richardson?"

Careles nodded in the direction of Alicia's window. "Ask her." With that, the taller man turned and strode off.

§§§

Alicia quickly changed out of the fluffy bathrobe she'd been wearing and into a pair of dark gray pants and a white V-neck sweater as she waited for John to come up. The pants didn't feel very comfortable around her injured knee, but at least they hid the ugly bandage from sight. She checked her face in the mirror, looking for traces of the tears that had escaped her earlier, and found none. Pulling a brush through her hair she wondered what could be so important for him to not only leave her three voicemail messages, but to come right over after what must have been a long day for him.

Not that she was complaining. She could use his company. In fact, she'd been on the verge of calling him earlier. She'd spent the two hours after Nico had delivered her at home tensing at every little sound in the quiet apartment, until the distant sound of screeching car tires had almost literally made her jump out of her skin. She'd reached for her phone – and then remembered the debate. She'd almost broken down right then and there, but had managed to hold herself together.

She'd run herself a bath and spent the forty minutes after that trying to get herself to unwind and her body to relax while she kept her knee above the water to keep it from getting wet. But it was no use. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the black pickup coming at her, and adrenalin spiked again. So she'd gotten out of the tub, put on her robe and poured herself a glass of red wine, hoping that would help relief her tension.

She was just trying to settle in on the couch, reaching for the remote to turn on the television and find some dumb show to take her mind off the events of the past twelve hours, when a rattling sound coming from somewhere behind her had her knocking over her wineglass and spilling the contents all over the coffee table before she realized it was only the fridge, producing an icecube.

And that's when her anxiety had finally gotten the better of her and she'd broken down in tears, sobbing all the way to the kitchen and back as she got a wet cloth to clean the wine off the table.

Her tears had only just dried up when Nico had called to let her know John was downstairs. She'd felt something deep inside her relax at the news that he was here – which made her pause for a brief second as she wondered what that said about her feelings for him. Nothing, she told herself as she rushed to the bedroom to change into something a bit more decent. She just really needed the comfort of a friend after the stressful day she'd had.

Alicia walked out into the living room again just when the doorbell rang to signal his arrival. Taking a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders and pasted a smile on her face as she went to open the door.

"Hi," she said, as cheerful as she could. "I was just..." Her voice trailed off and the smile faded from her lips as she took in his expression. The muscles in his jaw were working frantically, his mouth was a tight line and his eyes shot daggers at her.

"What the _hell_ , Alicia?" He spat, startling her.

"What? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? What's _wrong_?" He let out a disbelieving chuckle. "You almost get yourself killed, and you ask _me_ what's wrong?"

Alicia opened her mouth to ask him how he knew about that, but he was pushing past her before she could get any words to come out. She stepped aside to give him room and closed the door. When she turned to face him, she found him scowling at her with his arms folded.

"So, you want to explain to me why you didn't call me back?" He demanded.

"Well, I knew you were busy, you know, with the debate and everything..." she tried, feeling the tightness in her shoulders double and her stomach churn. She crossed her own arms, copying his stance as the tension she'd been feeling all evening began to slowly boil over when her answer only seemed to make him angrier.

"Oh, come on, Alicia! I left you three messages. Three. I asked you to call me back in each one of them!"

"You also told me only yesterday that you were too busy to come over, and that if I wanted to talk I should come to you. Remember?" she shot back, her voice sounding shrill even to her own ears. "Yet, here you are now!"

"Only because you left me no choice, dammit! I would have stayed away if you'd just returned my calls! I..." Suddenly, his shoulders slumped and he unfolded his arms to rub a hand over his face. "I was worried sick about you, okay?"

"Yeah? Well, hell of a way to show your concern," Alicia bit out. "But as you can see, there's no need to worry. I'm fine. Close the door on your way out, will you?"

She turned her back on him – and couldn't hold back a muttered curse when the fabric of her pants caught on her bandaged knee as she started walking away, producing a sharp sting as the bandage shifted against her raw skin. But she kept walking, refusing to show any signs of weakness in front of him.

"You alright?" he asked, right before she sensed him coming up behind her.

But he didn't touch her, and she was glad. Because if he had, she would have broken down. Her angry shouting just now had drained the last bit of energy out of her. "Fine," she repeated between clenched teeth, without looking back at him. She was Alicia Florrick, she reminded herself. She was always fine. No matter what life threw at her, she didn't crumble. At least not when there were people watching.

"That didn't sound like you're fine," John persisted.

"I am. Really. It's just a scraped knee. Thanks for stopping by, but I'll live. I..." She had reached the couch and flopped down on it. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" Her voice caught on the last word, and she took a deep, shivering breath.

"Alicia, cut the crap. You're not fine. Any idiot can see that." His words may have sounded harsh if he hadn't said them in such a warm, caring voice. He came to sit next to her and put his arm around her shoulders, gently pulling her against him.

She resisted, but he didn't budge and so there was nothing she could do but give in and let herself relax into him. As she put her head on his shoulder she felt him tense much like she had only moments earlier and she lifted her head back up to look at his face, just in time to catch his grimace.

"You don't happen to have an icepack in the freezer, I suppose?" he asked when he saw her questioning look. "That Careles guy thought I was a stalker or something, and he – wait, who's Richardson?"

Alicia sat up. "The guy in the car." She paused, remembering how she'd told him she wouldn't discuss the case with him. But she figured she could tell him this much. "He's Amy's brother."

"Amy?"

"Farris. Born Richardson." She stood up. "I don't have an icepack, but I think I have a bag of frozen peas," she told him. She went into the kitchen to get it. "So what did Nico do to you?" she asked, handing him the peas.

"Alicia, maybe you should drop the Farris case," he said, taking off his jacket but not his shirt before pressing the bag against his shoulder. He avoided her eyes.

"Why would I do that?" she asked.

"Because it's dangerous," he said, looking up at her again.

"So was working for Bishop," she said, referring to the drug lord her first firm had represented for years. "Not to mention Colin Sweeney," she added the name of the cold blooded killer who had already managed to get away with murder several times before he became a client at that same firm.

"Okay, but..." John rubbed his temple with his free hand, like he felt a headache coming on. "This is different."

"How so?"

"Well... You're on your own now, with no big firm to back you up, and..."

"John. Practicing law involves dealing with dangerous people. You know that." Alicia crossed her arms and gave him a stern look. "Cut the crap," she repeated his words from earlier. "Tell me what's really going on."

Leaning forward to toss the bag of peas on her coffee table, he dropped his gaze from hers. He was quiet for a couple of seconds, then he took a deep breath and looked up again. "Okay – here's the thing," he stalled. She just raised her eyebrow in question and waited. "I think... I think Peretti may be more involved with Ryan Farris than he let on." Dropping his gaze again, he sighed. "I found out he lied to me."

"When? About what?" She grabbed the bag of peas from the table and pushed it back into his hands as she sat down next to him.

"I went into his office this morning and found... Something that suggests he's still in touch with Vito Farese. It may have nothing to do with the case, but..."

"Okay, hold on. You lost me. Back up. Vito Farese?"

"The mob boss." John's eyes widened. "You mean you don't know yet?"

"Know what?"

"Farese is Farris' uncle. You know, the one I told you about last night... But I didn't know who he was then, Peretti never mentioned the uncle's name. Anyway, it was in the paper this morning, that's why I thought you knew."

"Okay..." Alicia said, her mind working overtime as she tried to make sense of what he was saying. "So Ryan is related to a mob boss... And? I mean, that's unexpected, but it doesn't make Ryan a mobster... And where does Peretti come in?"

"I'm not sure. He said Farese and he hadn't spoken in years, not since they were kids. But... I don't know, I got a gut feeling when he told me that, so I went into his office and..." John sighed and shrugged. "Well, I found evidence that he was lying to me."

"What was it?"

He fidgeted with the bag of peas, and she waited. "I... I can't tell you," he said eventually. "His personal assistant came back before I got a chance to get a good look."

"But it may be something to do with the case?" What could he have possibly found in Peretti's office that had impact on her case? "You think Farese or Peretti was involved in the murder?"

"No. But... I don't know, Alicia. I need more time to find out what's going on. It may be nothing."

"But you think it's something." She reached for her phone. "I'm going to call Nico. He needs to hear this too."

"No! You can't tell anyone!" He gave her a pleading look. "Like I said, it may be nothing. And I can't risk Peretti's image over this before I know for sure. I'm still his campaign manager..."

"Seriously? You think protecting a politician's image is more important than solving a murder?"

"Peretti didn't kill Amy Farris, Alicia. He and Farris may be involved in... Something else – along with Vito Farese. But I don't believe he's a killer."

"Then what is he involved in?"

"Like I said, I can't tell you. Not before I'm sure." He tossed the peas on the table again and reached for his jacket. "Maybe I'd better go now." He started to get up and she grabbed his arm.

"You can't leave!" The words were out before she could hold them back. "I mean... I was kind of hoping... you'd stay."

"Why?" He sounded genuinely surprised.

"I..." It was Alicia's turn to drop her gaze to the floor. She didn't really know how to answer that question. But she did know that she didn't want him to go anywhere. She wanted him to stay and... What? As she looked at the fabric of the couch, she remembered waking up in his arms the other morning, and just like that she knew what she wanted. But could she ask him to do that? "I just want... I need you," she stammered, looking back up at him.

He froze, but his eyes came alive with heat, and the air between them suddenly seemed charged with electricity. "Alicia..." He shook his head.

"Not for sex," she assured him. "I mean, I know I promised to go out on a date with you first, and... Well. I just... I had a... A scary day. And I... I don't want to be alone. So if you could just... Be here. Hold me." She sighed. He still looked like he wasn't really sure what to say, what to do. "I know I don't have the right to ask after the way I treated you, but..." she shrugged, her voice trailing off.

He dropped his jacket back on the couch and closed the distance between them. But he didn't touch. For a long, breathless moment, they just looked at each other. Then he brought up his hand and brushed her hair back, his hand lingering on her cheek as he searched her eyes with his.

"Of course I'll stay," he whispered then, his hand sliding to her back to pull her into him.

Alicia released a long breath and sagged against him, clasping her arms around his waist and hiding her face in his neck as she finally let go of her remaining tension. A small part of her mind was trying to warn her that there was danger in needing him like this, but she found it was surprisingly easy to shut it up.

§§§

After he'd parked his truck in the underground parking of a crowded shopping mall, Sean Richardson had spent hours wandering around the streets of downtown Chicago, waiting for people to notice him, for someone to start shouting and pointing in his direction, for cops to come running out of some alley to arrest him. None of those things happened.

When it started to get dark, he'd made his way back to the parking, expecting the security personnel to stop him as he located his car, got in and drove out of there. They didn't.

Now, he took a long, deep breath as he turned onto the exit to Springfield... And then forgot to exhale as he watched the blue lights flash in his rearview mirror.

He considered putting his foot down on the accelerator, but couldn't bring himself to do it. The fog had cleared from his mind enough over the past few hours to know that it was no use trying to get away. They had his license plate number. That meant they knew where he lived.

The police car sounded its siren and Sean pulled over.

He released his breath without even being aware of doing it. As he watched the cruiser pull up behind him, lights still flashing but siren silent now, he wondered if Ryan had felt the same way he was feeling now when they had come to get him. He felt calmer and more clearheaded than he had since he'd gotten the call about Amy. It was a relief to finally face the consequences of his actions.

§§§

Dani walked into their hotel room ahead of Nico, who had opened the door for her. On the drive back here they had discussed what she'd found out from Ryan this afternoon, but now all the case talk was done and she knew the moment had come to talk about what had been bothering her ever since this morning. No, since even before that, she amended.

She'd done a lot of thinking after leaving the prison this afternoon. She'd had Jason drive her to the stadium, planning on talking to the team therapist, Frank Hammond. But he'd taken the afternoon off. Dani had left a message for him at the reception desk and found herself with a whole lot of nothing to do. That was when the thinking had started.

And now was when she was supposed to put her thoughts into words. Taking a deep breath, she turned to face Nico.

He closed the door and leaned against it, folding his arms and tilting his head at her in question.

"I found the ring," she stated quietly. His eyebrow went up slightly, but that was the only sign of surprise he showed. "The box fell out of your pocket when I was packing, and I... Well, I was curious."

Nico chuckled. "When are you not?"

"I've been thinking about it ever since, and..." Dani bit her lip, trying to figure out how to break this to him. Dropping her gaze to the floor, she decided to just put it out there. "I – I can't marry you, Nico... I'm sorry." Looking up, she saw the muscles in his jaw work, but other than that he looked the same as he had before she'd dropped her bomb. Silence stretched out between them as she bit back the tears that threatened.

"And why is that?" He finally asked.

"It's not because I don't love you or anything like that. Because I do. But..." She swallowed. "You keep secrets."

He frowned. "Dani..."

"No, let me talk first, please. This is hard enough as it is." She turned to stand by the window, looking at his reflection instead of directly at him because it was just easier that way. "I know that you think you're protecting me by keeping things from me. But it doesn't make me feel protected. It makes me feel... Scared. Alone. Shut out. And I… I can't go through another marriage feeling like that."

She saw his reflection step away from the door. He crossed the room, and she braced herself for his touch. But he just came to stand beside her, his hands in his pockets as he caught her reflected gaze. "I'm not Ray," he stated, in a tight voice but outwardly calm. "I'd never cheat on you. And you know it."

"I think I do, but..." Dani smiled sadly. "I also knew Ray was hiding something from me. He wasn't nearly as good at that as you are. And that's exactly what scares me. You could be sleeping with half the female population of New York and I'd never know."

"You're saying you don't trust me." His voice was now completely void of emotion – a sure sign that she'd hurt him deeply, she knew.

"I'm saying I'm afraid I will never be able to completely trust my own judgement when it comes to the things you hide from me... Part of me will always keep wondering. I know that's messed up and unfair, but..." She gave in to the urge to touch him, putting a hand on his arm. "I also know that it's not a good foundation for a healthy marriage."

Nico nodded. "I'll return the ring," he said, withdrawing his arm and his gaze, staring out into the night.

"Nico..." she started, but she was interrupted by the sound of his phone coming from his coat pocket.

He hesitated only a second before picking up. "Careles!" He barked. Then his gaze flew back to hers. "When? Where is he now? Okay, we're on our way. Thanks." He tucked the phone away. "That was detective Anderson. They've arrested Richardson. Let's go."

Dani shook her head, trying to process the change of gears. "What? Why? Where are we going?" Even as she spouted her questions, she was already following him out of the room.

"The police station." He didn't say more, didn't even look at her again, until they were in the car. Then he turned to her, his gaze impenetrable, and calmly stated, "That conversation we just had – it's not over."

"I know," she said. Then she turned to stare out the window on her side, hoping that their conversation wasn't the only thing not over between them.


	13. Chapter 13

Nico leaned on the wall, his eyes staring straight ahead at the door across the hall, his arms folded across his chest, his hands tucked out of sight under his biceps so no one would notice how he was clenching them into fists. He knew his inner turmoil didn't show on his face because years of experience had taught him how to hide his emotions. But tonight it was harder than usual.

He kept staring straight ahead when he heard Dani softly clear her throat. She was leaning on the same wall two feet away from him, and looking at the same door, the one that gave access to the observation space behind the two way mirror. But she didn't have the same training he had, so she had been pacing and fidgeting and lip biting and sighing and throwing him glances from the corner of her eye ever since they'd arrived at the police station twenty minutes ago.

They were waiting for Richardson's lawyer to arrive so the interrogation could begin. Detectives Anderson and Lewis had been waiting with them at first, but had quickly found other things to do as soon as they'd caught on to the icy atmosphere between himself and Dani.

"So I was thinking... Maybe I should call Alicia?" Dani asked in a soft voice. "You know, let her know they have him?"

Nico considered it, remembering how quiet the lawyer had been, the way she'd hugged herself as she followed him through her apartment when he'd checked it to make sure Richardson wasn't hiding there to finish the job he'd started with his car. She needed her rest. Besides, Elfman was there, so who knew what they'd be interrupting if they called her now. The man had described himself as a friend of Alicia's, but if Nico wasn't mistaken, there was more going on between them than they let on.

"No," he told the door. He glanced sideways, without moving his head, just in time to catch Dani's slight flinch at his distant tone. He heard her intake of breath as she prepared to say more – then saw her shake her head and heard her release the breath again.

They resumed their silent waiting.

A couple of minutes later the door to the bullpen burst open to let Anderson and Lewis out, followed by a young guy with a babyface and short, sand-colored hair. He was dressed impeccably, in a dark gray suit with a white shirt and a purple tie, and he was carrying a black briefcase. When he caught sight of them standing there, his smooth forehead creased as he raised his eyebrows.

"Cary Agos, I'd like you to meet Doctor Danielle Santino and her... partner, Nico Careles," Detective Anderson said in a voice that was a little too bright, considering the circumstances. She seemed to notice it herself, because she frowned and continued in a more earnest tone, "They have a stake in this case and will be watching us from behind the mirror. Dani, Nico, this is Cary Agos, Mr. Richardson's lawyer."

Dani reached out her hand and Agos hesitated slightly before shaking it. He looked like he wanted to object to their presence, but then his gaze crossed Nico's and he swallowed and apparently decided to let it go. He extended his hand to Nico, who managed to unfold his arms long enough to give it a brief shake.

"Okay, well, let's get this show on the road," Anderson broke the awkward silence that ensued. She gestured for Lewis to unlock the door to the interrogation room and when he did, motioned for Agos to go ahead. The young lawyer flashed a nervous smile and stepped inside, followed by Lewis. Anderson unlocked the door to the observation space, waved Dani inside – and then stepped in Nico's way. "Geez, I don't know what crawled up your butt, but could you tone it down a bit with the scary face? You frightened that poor kid half to death," she whispered, amusement twinkling in her eyes.

Nico stared her down, not in the mood for banter. She just stared right back, folding her arms and straightening to her full five-six height. She put a hand on his chest when he took a step forward, intending to step past her.

"Hold on. One more thing. That gas leak?" She paused, then dropped her voice to a whisper again. "I just got a call from the fire department – turns out it was a bomb after all." She rolled her eyes when he failed to supply the surprised reaction she'd apparently expected and merely nodded his head. "Right. So... Try not to kill each other in there, okay?" She said as she stepped aside to let him pass.

He chose to ignore that, focusing on the glass panel through which he could see Agos take a seat beside his client. Richardson looked the epitome of stressed – his eyes haunted, his skin pale, his brown hair standing up in spikes as if he'd been running his hands through it a lot over the past hours. His shoulders seemed wider than Nico remembered from chasing him that afternoon, and his face looked fuller too – but that could be because he'd taken off his glasses and put them on the table in front of him.

"He looks nervous," Dani, standing in front of the glass panel on the far end of the room, observed. She had her arms folded and stood completely rigid, keeping her eyes away from him as she said it.

Nico didn't say anything. He just put his hands in his pockets and stared straight ahead.

Anderson entered the interrogation room and took a seat across from Richardson while Lewis hovered by the door. She started by verifying Richardson's personal information – and then went straight for the jugular. "So, Mr. Richardson, why did you kill Alex Grisham?"

"Don't answer that, Mr. Richardson," Agos said immediately. Then, to Anderson, "What makes you think my client killed anyone?"

Lewis stepped forward, took something out of his pocket and tossed it on the table. It was wrapped in a plastic bag. "The deceased's cellphone, found in Mr. Richardson's car. Has your client's fingerprints all over it."

"That doesn't mean anything, and you know it. He could have found..."

"Alex was sleeping with my sister," Richardson said in a tired, but steady voice, shocking his lawyer into silence. "Amy. When I found out... He came by to tell me himself... I just... I snapped. Lost it. I-I didn't mean to kill him. I just... I couldn't stop hitting him, and then it was too late."

Agos dropped his head, raising his hand to rub his forehead, as Richardson continued to explain how he'd freaked out over killing Grisham and decided to dump the body in the lake. Grisham's cell phone had started ringing as he was driving out there, and he'd recognized Alicia's name on the display. So he'd sent her a text, pretending to be Grisham, telling her he'd be out of town. It was only when he'd listened to the voicemail message in which she fired the investigator that he realized he'd been working for her – and for the man who'd killed his sister. That's when he had decided to leave her business card with Grisham's body, in an effort to scare her into dropping the Farris case.

"Why did you want her off the case?" Anderson asked, and Richardson looked at her like she was stupid.

"I've seen her on TV. She's good, she wins most of her cases. I couldn't let her win Ryan's case..."

"So you decided to run her over with your truck?" Lewis asked, his tone conveying his disbelief. "Twice?"

"Don't..." Agos tried to keep Richardson from answering, putting a hand on his arm, but his client had other ideas.

"No, that's not how it was! I just wanted to send her a message, and I did."

"The business card," Anderson said.

"Right. Then Alex' body was found and I saw it on the news and it really hit me then that I had... I couldn't handle it. I couldn't get it out of my head all day, knowing that I had... And so I decided to go to the Cougars game last night, you know, take my mind off of things. Had a few drinks in a bar on the way there, and when I walked back outside, there she was. In her car, waiting for the light to change. I walked right by her. And I wasn't thinking clearly, so I jumped in my truck and... well, tried to crash her. But only to frighten her, I swear!"

"And today?" Anderson asked, and Agos didn't even try to stop his client from talking this time.

"Today was... An accident. And yes, I know how that sounds." Richardson dropped his head into his hands and sighed heavily before looking back up. "I'm a recovering alcoholic," he said. "I had been sober for over four months when Amy died. She was so proud of me. And then she... I felt like the biggest asshole in the world when I was sitting in that bar last night. Like I was tarnishing her memory somehow... So when I woke up this morning, hung over and feeling like shit again, I decided to go to the Lakefront. You know, for their AA meeting? And then there was an explosion..."

A soft gasp came from Dani as Nico frowned and stood up straighter. Richardson whined on about how he'd been trying to process the explosion and had suddenly seen Alicia crossing the street, right in front of his car.

It all sounded a little too... coincidental to be true, didn't it? But then Nico tuned out the man's voice and focused on his face, comparing it to that of the guy he'd chased this afternoon.

He muttered a curse as he realized Richardson's pale complexion, which he had attributed to stress before, didn't match that of the face in his memory. Looking harder, he also noticed the different haircut and the freckles on Richardson's nose... And then there was his name, Sean. Irish. Whereas the other guy had looked...

"It's not him, is it?" Dani grabbed his arm and gave him a wide eyed look. "Someone else wants Ryan dead."

"Looks like it." Nico put his arm around her shoulders in an instinctive gesture, pulling her close as he took out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts until he found the number for Daniel Keefe, the man currently guarding Alicia's building. He sent off a quick text, telling Keefe to stay where he was because the cops had arrested the wrong guy.

§§§

Alicia sighed as she watched the patch of moonlight peeking in through the curtains travel over the ceiling of her bedroom. They had gone to bed two hours ago, Alicia dressed in her satin pajamas because she didn't want to give John the wrong idea. He had dressed down to his boxers and undershirt and held her until she fell asleep.

But fifteen minutes ago, she had woken from a dream in which she was all alone, in the dark, until a pair of bright headlights had started chasing her, the roaring of an engine filling her ears as she tried to make her legs move faster through the mud she seemed to be wading in. She had known she was too slow, and she had opened her mouth to scream... And that was the moment she'd woken up, the scream still locked in her throat, the sound of the engine still in her ears.

It had taken her only a couple of seconds to realize that she was safe, that the sound of the engine that seemed to have followed her from the dream was just a loud snoring. It had taken longer for her heart rate to return to normal and her breathing to slow down. John, blissfully unaware of her anxiety, had rolled to his side and stopped snoring shortly after that, and that was a relief. But she was still wide awake, all her senses on high alert.

A cloud covered the moon and the patch of light on the ceiling disappeared. Alicia rolled to her side and snuggled up to John's back, snaking her arm around his waist and trying to ignore the fact that his undershirt had crept up and that her fingers were now touching bare skin over firm abs.

Clenching her eyes shut, she tried to will herself into feeling sleepy again. But the longer she lay there, the more she became aware of his breathing pressing his abs into her fingers, the way his lungs expanded on every inbreath, pressing his back a little more firmly into her breasts, every exhale making the smooth fabric of her pajama top brush over her nipples...

She rolled to her back again, and then onto her other side. Another sigh escaped her as she closed her eyes once more and tried to get comfortable. She couldn't have been lying like that for longer than a minute when she felt him shift. His arm slid around her waist as he rolled over and spooned her, his chest against her back and his thighs against the backs of her own.

Her eyes shot open and she froze when she heard him utter a soft groan and he snuggled even closer, making his groin touch her butt.

He was rock hard.

"John?" she whispered. "A-are you awake?"

He tensed against her and then rolled away, exhaling loudly. "Yeah. Sorry." He paused. "Did I wake you?"

"No..." Alicia rolled onto her back, turning her head on the pillow to look at him. He was also on his back, his forearm across his eyes. "I had a nightmare. Couldn't get back to sleep."

He sighed heavily. "I'm sorry about that. You want to talk about it?" He lifted his arm and turned his head to look back at her.

"No, no, that's okay." Alicia quickly turned her own head away, her eyes once again finding the ceiling. The moon had come out from behind the clouds again. "Thanks for staying," she told the patch of moonlight on the ceiling.

John was quiet for almost a minute. Then he sat up abruptly. "Alicia, I..." he paused to rake his hand through his hair. He glanced in her direction, took a deep breath and continued, "I think I better go now."

"What? Why?" She sat up too.

"Because if I stay..." He let out a mirthless chuckle and shook his head. "No. I just can't. I'm sorry, Alicia." He turned and swung his legs out of the bed.

"John – wait." Alicia got up on her knees, ignoring the sting of her injury protesting against this position, and reached for him. Her hand landed on his upper arm. "Please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." Her voice caught when he turned his head back to her, and she swallowed.

"What?" he asked.

"I didn't mean to make you feel like... Like I tricked you into staying," she said, dropping her gaze from his. She withdrew her hand.

"Tricked me? What are you talking about?"

"You know..." She brushed her hair back before looking at him again. When she continued, the words came tumbling out fast. "For sex. I mean, I know you think I just want you for that, but that's not why I asked you to stay with me tonight, it really isn't. But then I woke up and I couldn't get back to sleep and I felt your abs and that felt really good and then I started thinking about – you know, and." Her babbling was abruptly cut off when John suddenly turned and his chest crashed into hers, making her loose her balance and fall back on the bed.

He followed her down, his weight pressing her into the mattress. "Not what's going on at all," he informed her, right before his mouth brushed over hers, making her lips tingle. "I was leaving because it was killing me to just lie there and not have you."

His voice had gone all gravelly, and the sound made her bones turn liquid and her blood run hot through her veins. "It was?" She heard herself ask in a breathy voice that didn't sound like her own.

"Hell, yeah." His mouth came down on hers again, his tongue plunging inside, making her whimper as she closed her eyes and put her arms around him to pull him closer, her fingers clenching the cotton of his undershirt, anchoring her before his kiss could sweep her off her feet completely.

"So... You're not leaving anymore?" She had to check when they broke apart.

John leaned up on his elbow and brushed her hair back. He was breathing just as hard as she was. "No way... Unless you want me to."

Alicia smiled and let her hands slide down his side. "No way," she told him as she started pulling at the hem of his undershirt.

He let her pull the garment over his head and even raised his arms so she could take it off of him completely, but when she tossed the shirt aside and let her hands make a beeline for his boxers, he caught her wrists and pushed them upwards, pressing them into the mattress on either side of her head. He gave her a wicked smile when she groaned in protest and then he bent his head and she shivered as she felt his tongue and lips trace a damp path along her jaw and down her neck, right down to her collar bone.

"This time we'll take it slow," he whispered, and his warm breath made goosebumps break out where it tickled her skin.

Releasing one of her hands, he used his own to open the top button of her pajama top and pressed a light, teasing kiss to the skin he bared. She tangled her fingers in his hair, trying to make him keep doing that, but he shook his head, opened the next button and repeated his teasing. She arched her back, wanting to press herself firmer against his lips. But he just smiled, lifted his head slightly and went to work on the next button. He made his way all the way down to the last button, keeping his teasing touches lighter than a feather, until she felt like her skin was on fire and she was ready to scream in frustration.

He released her other hand, pushed the two halves of her pajama top aside and flicked his tongue over her tight nipple. Gasping, she arched her back again, offering herself to him, and this time she was rewarded with his lips closing around her nipple as he suckled gently. His hand trailed down her arm to cup her other breast and she tangled the fingers of both her hands in her hair to keep his head in place.

But he was relentless, lifting his head away again, with a last light flick of his tongue. Before she could protest, however, he started licking and kissing his way down her ribcage to her stomach, making the muscles there jump and contract as Alicia pulled up her legs until her feet were flat on the mattress, trying to brace herself.

John sat back on his knees and looked down on her. "You look beautiful... I think," He whispered, a smile in his voice, reaching for the lamp on her nightstand and flipping the switch to let soft golden light fill the room. She blinked and he nodded slowly, his smile widening. "Strike that... You _are_ beautiful."

So was he, but Alicia couldn't get the words out, her throat suddenly constricted as the tenderness in his voice and the reverence in his eyes found their way into her chest, warming her heart through the barriers she'd put up. She reached her hand up to touch his cheek and he turned and kissed her palm before taking her hand in his and gently putting it back on the mattress.

They lingered like that, staring into each other's eyes, until Alicia had to close her eyes because of the overwhelming intensity of their connection. She held her breath until she felt him shift, releasing her hand again as he resumed what he'd been doing. She exhaled slowly, as his hands curled around the waistband of her pants and he started pulling them over her hips while kissing her belly, and sank into her desire again.

The first soft stroke of his tongue had her hips coming off the bed as she gasped his name.

The second had her grabbing his hair, determined to make his mouth stay right where it was. She felt more than heard his appreciative hum as he obliged, adding one of his fingers to tease her on the inside.

She trashed her head back and forth on the pillow and whimpered and panted as his touches became firmer, as they drove her higher and higher towards the peak of completion, as they sent her over the edge, crying out his name, her muscles clamping down on his finger and her hands pulling on his hair, desperate to stop and simultaneously extend the excruciating pleasure the pressure of his mouth gave her, as her barriers came crashing down and she was pulled under, loosing herself and not even caring as long as this feeling went on forever.

But the waves crashing through her body eventually subsided and left her lying on her back with her eyes closed, her body feeling warm and heavy and boneless. She felt him move away from her, heard a slight rustle as he got rid of his final remaining item of clothing and felt the mattress dip as he joined her on the bed again.

He pushed her thighs wider apart and she opened her eyes and reached for him when he leaned on his elbows and positioned himself to enter her, his hands wrapping around her shoulders to keep her in place. They sighed in unison as he slid inside easily, filling her up, completing her. She pulled his head down for a long, tender kiss as he began to move, slowly, gently, pulling out almost all the way, sliding back in and then repeating in a fluid rhythm. Alicia locked her thighs around his hips and trailed her hands up and down his shoulders as she moved with him, enjoying the way his muscles flexed under her touch, the light dampness of his skin under her palms.

He broke the kiss and lifted his head, gazing into her eyes when she opened them as he went faster, reached deeper. Her fingers curled, her nails lightly boring into his skin as she looked up at him, mesmerized, and saw the pleasure in his eyes and in the way he clenched his jaw, heard it in his guttural groan and eventually felt it in the way he pulsated when he pushed himself deeper once more and emptied himself inside her.

When he collapsed beside her, gathered her in his arms and pulled her against him, she hid her face in his neck and breathed in his smell, their smell, no longer able to deny that what they shared was far, far more than just sex.

She should be worried about that, she realized. She should start creating more distance between them while she still could. But right now, she simply couldn't muster the massive amount of energy that hard work would take.

She pressed a soft kiss to his throat and turned in his arms so that he was spooning her again, and relaxed into him, a soft smile turning up the corners of her mouth as she closed her eyes and let herself just be in the moment.

§§§

He needed air, but he couldn't breathe. Something soft was covering his face, pressing down and blocking his nose and mouth.

Ryan struggled to get it off, ignoring the pain in his arm as he clawed at what turned out to be a pillow, held down by two strong hands. His lungs were screaming for air and he doubled his efforts, grasping at the hands, trashing his body from one side of the bed to the other as bright patches of colored fireworks began to bloom before his eyes...

Suddenly, the pillow was lifted and he fell back against the mattress and greedily sucked his lungs full of air, and then again and again, until the colors began to fade and he opened his eyes to find the silhouette of a man hovering by the side of his bed.

"What... the... fuck..." he gasped.

"I have a message for you," the man whispered. "Shut up and listen or I'll put this back where it was and keep it there." He held up the pillow.

"Who are you?" Ryan strained his eyes, trying to make out the man's face, but the light from the hallway outside his cell cast the face in shadows. And then he couldn't see anything at all, because the pillow blocked his vision. "No – Don't! I'll listen!"


	14. Chapter 14

Something had changed between them last night. John had seen it in Alicia's eyes, tasted it in the kiss she'd given him right before he left this morning. As a result, he couldn't wipe the goofy smile of his face even now, as he parked his car outside Peretti's office building earlier than usual.

Walking across the parking lot, he let his mind wander back to the moment he'd woken with a raging hard-on, after what couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes of restless sleep, and felt her fingers brush his stomach. He'd prayed she would follow through, but then she turned to her other side and he had thought she was sleeping. He'd felt like the biggest creep in the world when he hadn't been able to control his sudden impulse to roll over and press himself against her, only to find her wide awake. Who would have thought that such a mortifying moment could turn into something so immensely pleasurable?

He crossed the lobby, smiled at a staff member coming from the elevator, and jumped into the elevator just before the doors closed. Taking a deep breath, he tried to direct his mind back to where it should be right now. Peretti. The workday ahead of him.

The files on the flash drive in his pocket. He'd found it in Peretti's desk drawer yesterday and plugged it into the man's computer, expecting to find something innocent, like family pictures or back ups or something. But the mere glimpse he'd gotten of the two files he'd opened hadn't looked very innocent.

The thought of the flash drive managed to finally make him come back down to earth again, and the soft smile still tugging at the corners of his mouth vanished.

The elevator doors opened onto his floor. He stepped out and glanced at the closed door to Peretti's office, before he hurried in the direction of his own. Looked like his candidate wasn't in yet, and neither was Mike. Good. If he was quick, he'd be able to copy the files from the flash drive onto his own hard drive before Peretti came in. If he was really lucky, he might even have the chance to put the drive back before the candidate noticed the device was missing from his desk drawer. He'd wanted to do all that last night, but the video of Alicia's brush with death had gotten in the way.

He plugged the flash drive into his pc and, deciding it would take too much time to browse the files and select only the most important ones, started the copying process of the entire file folder. It seemed to take forever, but when it was finally done, John discovered no more than three minutes had passed. He quickly checked to make sure he'd gotten everything, unplugged the drive and made his way over to Peretti's office, taking his key out to unlock the door – only to find that it was already open.

"Good morning Johnny, you're early," Peretti said, looking up from his computer. The candidate's smile seemed to lack its usual warmth, but maybe that was just John's imagination.

"Vince – hi. Um, yeah. Decided to get an early start on, um..." John's hand clenched around the flash drive, and he hoped Peretti didn't notice it when he put it in his pocket. "...On, um, the polling. See what the debate did for the numbers."

"I see." Peretti folded his hands and rested his chin on them, glancing at the chair in front of his desk and then back to John. "Sit down. Tell me about the numbers."

It wasn't a request. John sat down, taking the opportunity to wipe his suddenly slightly damp palms on his pant legs as he did so. "Well, I'm still processing the numbers, but it's looking good so far," he said.

"Great." Peretti nodded. "Now, I have something to show you." He leaned back and turned his computer so that John could see the screen.

The flash drive seemed to grow heavier in his pocket and sweat broke out on his forehead as he watched the webcam footage of himself, rummaging around Peretti's desk – and then bending over to look in the drawers...

 _Click._

At the metallic sound, John moved his gaze from the screen back to Peretti and felt all the blood drain from his face. The gun in his candidate's hand had a big silencer that pointed slighly down, in the direction of John's pocket.

"Do you have something that belongs to me, Johnny?"

§§§

Alicia was coming down from the cloud she'd been floating on since last night, and it wasn't a soft landing. Her morning had started out pleasantly enough, waking up in John's arms and sharing breakfast with him, but then he'd left for work and she'd gotten two phonecalls in a row to burst her out of her cocoon.

The first one had been from Dani, informing her that Sean Richardson had been arrested last night and that he hadn't been the one to bomb the Lakefront. While discussing their ideas on who else could be responsible, Alicia had let it slip that Peretti may be involved in the Farris case before she remembered John asking her to keep that quiet for now. So she had asked Dani to not say anything about Peretti to anyone. Not even to Nico. She didn't want to get John into any trouble with Peretti or the media. After a slight hesitation, Dani had agreed. But Alicia knew better than anyone that the chance of a secret getting out grew bigger with every new person that knew about it.

The second phonecall was more alarming. Stacey, telling her to go straight to court instead of coming into work first. Apparently, Judge Cuesta had summoned her. Alicia was working on one case only that involved Cuesta, and the fact that he wanted to see her this early could only mean bad news for the Farris case.

So she had pushed all thoughts of John out of her mind and hurried to the courthouse, where she was now sitting opposite the judge in his chambers as he regarded her with a smile that didn't come close to reaching his eyes.

"Well, that blew up in our faces quite fast, wouldn't you agree, Miss Florrick?" He asked. His smile vanished completely, a frown taking over. "Fourteen people were injured yesterday. And why? Because I let you talk me into releasing a murderer from prison for therapy."

Alicia blinked. Had he really just said that? "Your Honor..."

"I wasn't done yet." Folding his hands on his desk, Cuesta leaned forward. "As you will understand, I have no choice but to reconsider my earlier ruling on this matter. Mr. Farris will remain in jail, where he belongs. Your therapist can see him there. And that is my final decision." He nodded once, and leaned back.

So she _had_ heard him correctly. Alicia's shoulders went rigid as disbelief followed by indignation coursed through her. "Your Honor, I think you should recuse yourself," she told him, her voice sounding much calmer than she felt.

"Excuse me?" Cuesta let out a disbelieving chuckle. "And why would I do that?"

"Because it seems to me that you are no longer impartial in this case. You..."

"Miss Florrick," he cut her off. "I take objection to this ludicrous accusation."

"You just called my client a murderer that should be punished, instead of a suspect..."

"Semantics." His tone was dismissive, but he dropped his gaze to the surface of his desk.

"I disagree, Your Honor." Alicia rose from her chair. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a motion for substitution to file." She turned and started for the door, her mind already busy calculating the odds of her getting a substitute judge with no personal opinion on this case. Slim to none, probably. This late in the game she doubted if there was anyone left – judge or otherwise – in Cook County, or in Illinois, who hadn't already made up their mind about Ryan yet. Maybe she should file a motion to have the case moved to another state while she was at it...

"Miss Florrick. Wait. There is no need to act rashly. I cut you some slack on this case, didn't I?" She turned back, her eyebrows raised, just in time to see Cuesta rub his hands over his face in a tired gesture. He lowered them, and she was taken aback by how old he suddenly looked. "Did I or did I not grant your motion to release Mr. Farris for therapy purposes just the other day?"

"You did, but..."

"Exactly," Cuesta cut her off again, "It was an outrageous motion, and you knew it. Yet, I let you run with it. Now let me ask you, how many cases have you tried before me, Miss Florrick?"

"I... Don't know. Dozens, probably. But previous cases aren't the issue here. The Farris case is."

"I know. And you are right, I should have referred to Mr. Farris as a suspect and I didn't just now, so I apologize for that." He paused, as if to give her the chance to let his apology sink in. "But have I ever, in any of those past cases, given you any indication that I have any other objective in mind than justly applying the laws of this State? Have you ever lost a case in my court that you should have won?"

Alicia hesitated. But the only fair answer to his question was the one she eventually gave him. "No, Your Honor."

"Good. Now, all I ask is that you return the favor I extended to you and cut me some slack here, Miss Florrick. I sometimes say thoughtless things in the heat of the moment. But I am hardly the first or only one to ever do that. However hard it may be to believe, I am merely mortal, just like you."

She regarded him, wondering what to do. Trying to figure out if there really was nothing more to this than just clumsiness on his part. How could she be sure that the complete mess this case had turned into seemingly overnight wasn't clouding her judgement right now?

"So, what do you say? Can we keep this between us?" Cuesta asked.

Coming to a decision, she slowly nodded. "For now," she told him, and the relief in his smile was almost palpable as he thanked her.

Leaving his chambers, she decided to call Nico and tell him what had just happened. Maybe he could do a little digging into the judge's background. Just in case. Then she wondered how her day could have turned so complicated in the span of just a couple of hours.

Not a soft landing, indeed.

§§§

"Bye, Alicia!" Dani called out, just before Nico ended the handsfree phonecall they'd been having with the lawyer as they drove to the stadium for the appointment with Frank Hammond. "So, do you think she's right?" She asked Nico, in her normal voice.

"About the judge?" Nico shrugged. "Wouldn't be the first time the mob bought a judge."

"I would never have dreamed the mob would be involved." Dani smirked. "We're really getting the full Chicago experience, huh?"

The corners of his eyes creased in amusement, and her heart jumped. He almost looked like his normal self again. "Don't get too excited," he said. "You made a promise to TK, remember?"

"Well, it won't be too hard to keep that promise if you ask me. I have a big, bad security expert by my side to keep me out of trouble, right?" As soon as she'd said it she bit her lip, wishing the words back. She just hadn't been able to resist the urge to make things feel more normal between them.

But just like that, the amusement was gone. Nico's face froze back into the impassive but somehow brooding expression it had worn all morning and he made a noise that sounded like a verbal shrug. "If there was a bribe, I'm not sure it came from Farese," he stated then, as if their moment of renewed connection hadn't taken place.

Dani looked away, out the window on her side, to hide the tears that were welling in her eyes. How could she have let this get so out of hand between them? They had silently agreed to put their personal situation aside for now and focus on work, but Dani was constantly aware of the elephant in the room, and she knew he must be too.

She took a silent but deep breath, trying to compose herself. This wasn't the time or the place to give in to a crying jag. "Why not?" she asked, turning to face him again.

"Mobsters don't generally pay to keep one of their own _in_ jail. And if Farese wanted to get his nephew out of the way for some reason, he could have just killed him."

"Ryan is not one of their own. He's no mobster," Dani said. But Nico merely shrugged. "Okay, so then maybe it was..." she held the name that had come to mind back just in time. The irony of her keeping a secret from Nico under the given circumstances wasn't lost on her, but she had promised Alicia not to mention the possible involvement of John's candidate in the case just yet. "Someone else." She tried to sooth her conscience by telling herself that it was unlikely that Peretti would want the star pitcher of his team behind bars.

Nico threw her a quick glance from the corner of his eye, and she saw his eyebrow raise. "Maybe. I'll have Xeno check the judge's financial records."

They both fell silent again, and Dani's mind wandered back to last night. To the way he'd closed himself off at the police station, save for that one moment when he'd put his arm around her in the observation room, and after, when they were back at the hotel. And she had only herself to blame for it, she thought as she remembered how she'd compared him to Ray. Well, herself and maybe Shelley Anderson. The image of Nico and the detective standing close together, first at the Lakefront parking lot and then again last night right before Nico entered the observation room, still set her teeth on edge. Their hushed conversations had looked really... intimate.

But if she was completely honest, she knew there was nothing to it, not really. And even if there was, it was a one-sided thing. Nico would never cheat on her.

Still, somehow, in her mind, that intimacy between them had gotten inseparably attached to her feeling of annoyance over his secrecy and her memories of her ex-husband. As a result she'd gone about things all backwards last night, and she wished she could turn back the clock and try again.

But she knew she couldn't, so she put that wish aside and spent the rest of the drive to the stadium trying to think of a way to convince him that her not trusting him wasn't the reason she didn't want to marry him. Because she knew she had to, before they could get to the heart of the real issue.

§§§

The last notes of _Ridi, pagliaccio,_ in Pavarotti's version of the famous aria, echoed between the marble walls of the indoor saltwater pool. Vito Farese, floating on his back near the center of the pool, an inflatable pillow under his head, opened his eyes as the music faded away. _Laugh, clown_. _Laugh despite the worries poisoning your heart_.

Vito had worries aplenty poisoning his heart, one of them now hovering near the edge of the pool, but he was no clown. So he wasn't about to put on a happy face for his audience. He turned to his stomach and paddled to the steps at the shallow end of the pool, graciously rising from the water. He lived a healthy life, unlike most of his men, unlike the kid standing before him now. Apart from his gray hair and the lines in his face, Vito Farese was proud to be able to say he didn't look his age. And the hair and lines were no big deal, because they merely gave him a distinguished look, he figured.

"Good job making it look like an accident," he told the kid, his tone deceptively mild. "They know it was a bomb, it was all over the news this morning."

A smug smile flashed in the boy's eyes. "They don't know it was me. They arrested some other guy for it."

"I don't care. You fucked up. And that means you're done." Vito turned and reached for the robe hanging from the radiator. It had his cell in the pocket, and he took his time to find out if anyone had called before turning back to face his son again. "What, you've got nothing to say?"

"You don't decide when I'm done." The boy had folded his arms and straightened himself to his full height. He was tall for an Italian, like all the men in their family, but his chubby cheeks and the fat around his waist made him look soft instead of formidable.

The look in his eyes, however, was anything but soft, and despite his earlier resolution Vito almost laughed out loud when he realized something. Losing the woman he loved seemed to have finally made his son grow balls. They may not be permanent, but for the time being it would be wise to be more careful around him. Maybe Ryan wasn't the only one the kid blamed for Amy's death. After all, he had warned both Vito and his business partners about Ryan, hadn't he?

"I may give you another shot at Ryan," Vito said. "If you earn it. I need you to go down to the stadium and take care of someone. _Pronto_."

The kid suddenly looked like Christmas had come early. "Peretti?"

"The shrink." Vito paused. "But I may give you Peretti too." Yes, he may actually do that. Having a politician on board had seemed like a good idea, but the guy was starting to cause Vito headaches.

"When?"

"Later. Focus on the shrink first." He and Peretti happened to agree that the shrink was the biggest danger to their operation right now. Ryan would no longer be a problem, Vito had made sure of that last night, but there was no telling what he'd told the shrink. "It needs to be done today. Use a gun. We want to send a message."

Vito knew his son hadn't touched a gun since Amy died, and that's why he had decided to give him this job. It was a perfect opportunity to see if the boy's new balls were here to stay. If not... Well, Vito hated disposing of family members, but he had no use for people who refused to handle guns – or held a grudge against him.

"Why today?"

"Because I say so. Now get out of my sight before I give the job to Sal." Sal was Vito's second in command, a position the boy wanted very much. Threatening to give any job to Sal instead of him was a sure way to light a fire under his lazy ass. As the kid hurried away, Vito felt his cell phone vibrate in the pocket of his robe. He took it out and sighed when he saw who was calling. "Vince, what is it this time?"

"Don't take that tone with me, Vito. I'm not in the mood." Peretti said.

"Problems?" Vito ambled over to the fridge in the far corner of the pool room, planning to pour himself a glass of fresh orange juice.

"I just had to dispose of a perfectly good campaign manager because he was becoming a threat to the operation."

"So he's no longer a threat. I don't get what the problem is, then."

"I forgot who his girlfriend was." Peretti paused, and Vito could hear him swallow. When he spoke again, his tone was defensive. "It slipped my mind! But you can't really blame me for that! I only just found out about their relationship a couple of days ago, so..."

"Enough with the damn whining already, Vinnie. I don't have all day. Who is this broad?"

"Alicia Florrick. Farris' lawyer. See the problem?"

Vito cursed. Yeah, he saw the problem. He didn't give the cops of this town much credit, but they weren't so stupid that getting rid of the lawyer wouldn't make them at least scratch their heads and wonder if they had really arrested the right guy for Amy's murder.


	15. Chapter 15

Nico was feeling restless but trying not to show it to any of the staff members and baseball players milling around the the hallway outside Doctor Hammond's office. Dani had insisted on talking to the guy alone. She feared that he wouldn't say anything in front of Nico, using client privilege as an excuse. He knew she was probably right about that, but it left him with nothing else to do than wait. And think. And worry. He wanted to, needed to, fix things between them, but he didn't have the faintest clue how to go about it.

He'd wanted to ask her last night, but Dani had looked as exhausted as he'd felt when they'd returned to their room from the police station, so they had gone straight to bed. He'd turned his back on her and had pretended to fall asleep, lying motionless until he'd heard her breathing even out. When he was sure she was asleep, he had turned to his back and stared at the ceiling until he felt her stir and she snuggled into him. That had been too much for him. He'd eased himself away from her without waking her up and left the bed to pour himself a glass of Sotch from the minibar. He'd spent the rest of the night sipping from that one glass, and wondering what he had done to cause this rift between them, as he sat in the recliner by the window.

And then this morning, they had both acted like the professionals they were, putting their personal issues aside for the moment. Except for that moment in the car, when she'd surprised him by joking and he'd dropped his guard for a moment and bantered with her like they used to before. That had felt good, so good in fact that he'd had to stop it before he did something stupid like pull over, take her in his arms and kiss her until she couldn't remember her own name, let alone the fact that she didn't trust him enough to marry him. So he had reverted to talking about the case, pretending not to see the hurt in her eyes, pretending her tears didn't make him wish from the bottom of his heart that Alicia Florrick had found some other therapist to help her on her stupid case.

He'd been so busy pretending he'd almost missed the slight pause, the hesitation in Dani's voice as they had discussed who could be responsible for the possible bribe of the judge. Almost. But he'd caught it, and had spent the rest of the drive wondering what had made her pause. Was it simply emotion? Or was she keeping something from him? And if so, what was it?

A door across the hallway opened and a tall blond man with his arm in a sling came out, followed by a slightly shorter man who looked a bit like Danny DeVito, but in a white lab coat. They both stopped short at the sight of Nico hovering in front of Hammond's office.

"Can I help you?" The man in the lab coat asked.

Nico looked over his shoulder at the name sign on the door they'd emerged from. _Dr. Edward Foster_. "You're the team doctor?"

"Yes. And you are?"

"Working on the Farris case." Nico looked at the door to Hammond's office. No sign of Dani yet. He may as well do some interviewing of his own, he decided. "Nico Careles. The defense hired me as an investigator. I'd like to ask you some questions."

"Well, Mr. Careles, you are free to schedule an appointment with my assistant. I don't have time right now." Foster turned his attention to the blond guy. "Peters, what are you still doing here? Aren't you late for PT?" Without waiting for a reply he turned and went back into his office, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Nico considered following him, but decided against it. He was really in no mood to question someone who appeared hostile.

"How's Ryan doing?" The blond guy asked.

"He's holding on. You're one of his teammates?"

"Yeah. Greg Peters. Closing pitcher. Well, I will be again after I lose this." Peters lifted the injured arm slightly. "Are you planning to interview the team as well?"

Nico tilted his head. There was an undercurrent of trepidation in Peter's voice, but the guy's eyes looked almost pleading. "Why? You have something to say?"

"Maybe."

"Go ahead."

"I'm late for PT." Peters looked back at the doctor's office, then down the hallway in both directions. Nico waited, his arms folded. After a couple of more moments of hesitation, Peters sighed. "Okay. Walk with me and we'll talk."

"I'm waiting for someone. We can talk here."

"Never mind then." Peters turned and walked off.

Nico hesitated only a moment before taking out his phone and sending Dani a quick text to wait for him here. Then he jogged after Peters. "Okay. Spill," he said, falling in step beside the pitcher and hoping the guy had something substantial to say, something that would break this whole mess of a case wide open.

§§§

"Everything okay?" Jason asked as he parked the car outside the Metropolitan Correctional Center.

"Sure," Alicia said, putting her phone back in her purse after her fifth call to John had gone directly to voicemail. Where was he? He'd told her this morning that he'd look into whatever he'd found in Peretti's office yesterday and get back to her as soon as possible, but it was almost noon now. Sure, he was probably just busy, but sending her a text to tell her that wouldn't have taken more than a minute, right?

Getting out of the car, she pushed him out of her mind for the time being and focused on what she was here for, wondering what could be so urgent that Ryan wanted to talk to her today instead of waiting for the appointment they had scheduled for tomorrow. Well, only one way to find out. She marched to the prison entrance.

Jason followed, apparently having picked up on the hint that she wasn't in the mood for talking. His constant presence was one of the reasons why she would be glad when this case was finally over, she thought as they went through the security check. Well, not him in particular, of course, but one of the many perks of divorcing Peter had been that she was finally able to go out in public again without a bodyguard hovering nearby constantly. She'd gotten used to and rediscovered the freedom that had come with that specific perk over the last couple of years, and having to relinquish that freedom now felt like a step back. Sure, it was necessary, but that didn't mean she had to like it. Also, as Sean Richardson had proven twice over the last two days, having a bodyguard didn't necessarily mean she was safe from harm.

Ryan was waiting for her in the same gray room as every time before. He looked tired and almost as pale as the bandage on his temple. He didn't even wait for Alicia to take a seat across from him before he started talking, and even his voice sounded tired. "I'm gonna plead guilty."

"What? No! Ryan, pleading guilty before we know exactly what happened would be..."

"I know what happened. I killed Amy."

"You mean..." Alicia sat down slowly, putting her hands flat on the table, and took a deep breath to try and calm her suddenly pounding heart. "You remember?"

He stared at her for long moments, his blue eyes glistening with grief, but unwavering. Then he reached for something under the table with his uninjured hand. It was a white envelope, that had apparently been lying in his lap. He put it on the table, hesitated for another moment, then pushed it towards her. "My confession," he said.

Alicia left the envelope where it was on the table. "Ryan, what happened? How, when, did you remember? Dani – Doctor Santino – said..."

But Ryan lifted his cuffed hands and waved at the guard standing outside. "I'm going back to my cell now. I'm sorry."

"Ryan, wait!" Alicia tried, as the guard came in and escorted him out. He didn't look back. She wanted to jump up and go after him, but knew that wouldn't go over well with the guard, so she stayed where she was. When Ryan and the guard rounded the corner, she looked down and eyed the envelope, her mind racing.

She was the first to admit that she was definitely no saint. She had not taken this case because she had believed that Ryan Farris was innocent. She'd taken it because it paid well and because it was good publicity for her small and still relatively new firm. Especially if she won. The envelope holding his written confession guaranteed that winning was no longer an option.

But no matter how much she hated losing, that was not the reason why she was reluctant to pick up the envelope and open it.

Alicia believed in facts. Facts that, when combined in the right way, told stories about her cases and clients. Stories that she not only used to provide every single one of her clients with the vigorous defense she believed they deserved, but also to sooth her own conscience every time she got a criminal off the hook. And so far, that approach had worked.

But in this case, more and more facts came to light that told a story that felt anything but soothing. The bombing of the Lakefront. Alex Grisham sleeping with Amy Farris and keeping that from her when she hired him to investigate. John finding something that somehow incriminated Peretti. Judge Cuesta acting in a way that seemed more and more suspicious the longer she thought about it.

And now there was the fact that Ryan had suddenly felt the need to write his confession down, just when Alicia had come to a point where everything inside her told her he was, in fact, innocent.

If she let him plead guilty in court, she would help send an innocent man to jail. But at the same time, she knew she couldn't stop him from doing exactly that. As a lawyer, she was bound by the Rules of Professional Conduct as stated by the American Bar Association. And those rules said that she had to abide by her client's decision as to the plea he wished to enter in court.

With a weary sigh, she picked up the envelope and put it in her briefcase. There was nothing she could do about all this now, since Ryan refused to discuss it any further. Getting up, she seriously considered taking the rest of the day off to go home and open a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. But her other clients may object to that, and she had a lot of paperwork to catch up on too, so she gave herself a mental kick in the butt and promised herself that she would reward herself by opening the bottle later, preferably in the company of John.

As she joined Jason in the hallway again, she placed her sixth call to John, trying to ignore the worry that was beginning to niggle at the back of her mind when her call went straight to voicemail again.

§§§

Vince Peretti had always loved _The Godfather_ , but watching the movies was about as far as he'd ever wanted to be involved in the Maffia. So as soon as he'd found out that Vito wanted much more than that, he'd made sure to stay as far away from his once best friend as he could.

He'd also always made a point of running his business empire as cleanly as he could, although of course you didn't get to where he was now without greasing some palms and taking a less-than-legal shortcut here and there. But that was all part of the game of doing business.

Taking lives, even without getting his own hands dirty, was not part of that game.

Or at least it hadn't been until Vito Farese had entered his life again. But look at him now, staring hard at the flash drive that was lying in the center of his otherwise empty desk and wondering if Mike had followed his orders to make it quick and painless for Johnny.

Vince sighed heavily, wishing there had been another way to ensure that his campaign manager would keep his mouth shut about the contents of the flash drive. He'd watched the webcam footage over and over this morning, before Johnny had come in, racking his brain over alternate solutions. But then he'd thought of Johnny's own words, the words he'd spoken the other day in the limo.

 _If he's guilty, he should be punished. The law applies to everyone._

Johnny had been talking about Ryan, but he really believed in that crap. He wouldn't have thought twice before delivering the contents of that flash drive to the cops, Vince knew. Or to his lawyer girlfriend. He may even have already told her about the flash drive, and that was why Vince was now contemplating ordering his second hit of the day.

Because he happened to disagree with Vito on the subject of Alicia Florrick. Sure, putting a bullet in her brain would raise questions, but what about an unfortunate accident? These things happened, right? Maybe he should just call Tony and tell him to make that happen, regardless of what Vito wanted.

Before he could reach for the burner phone Vito had given him, a firm knock on his door had him looking up. Mike stood in the door frame, and the fact that his assistant had changed clothes and that his hair was slightly wet from a recent shower wasn't lost on Vince.

"Is it done?" Vince asked.

Mike nodded, once. "Mr. Elfman won't be a problem anymore. You need anything else?"

§§§

Frank Hammond scribbled something on his notepad, then looked up at Dani. "I'm sorry to cut this short, Doctor Santino, but I have a lunch meeting I need to get to." He turned the notepad so that she could read what he'd just written down, and her eyebrows shot up.

 _Play along. Need to talk outside. Urgent._

"Oh." Her mind raced. Nico's text had asked her to wait for him here, and she had planned to do just that. But she couldn't get rid of the feeling that Hammond had left a lot of things unsaid over the past twenty minutes, even though he had also told her a lot about his last session with Ryan on the day of Amy's murder. And whatever he'd kept from her, he was obivously willing to share now. She couldn't just let that chance pass, right? "Um, sure. Thanks for your time."

Hammond rose from his seat and nodded towards the door. "My pleasure. Call me if you have any more questions."

"Thank you. I will." Dani raised her eyebrow at him in question, and he nodded. She hesitated for a fraction of a second, then turned and walked out the door. Stepping into the hallway, she glanced around. No sign of Nico yet. She started walking towards the stadium exit, taking out her phone to send him a quick text to meet her there instead. When that was done, she threw a quick look over her shoulder and saw Hammond exit his office, briefcase in hand, jacket draped over his arm. He motioned for her to keep walking, so she did.

As soon as Dani walked outside, Hammond fell in step beside her. "Sorry about the cloak and dagger stuff," he muttered under his breath. "This way." He set course for the parking lot.

Dani looked over her shoulder, but apparently Nico was still busy interviewing Ryan's teammate, since he was still nowhere in sight. Again, she texted him, telling him that she was headed for the parking lot with Hammond. After pocketing the phone she bit her lip and hovered there for a moment, but then the sight of a man in a gray uniform reminded her that she was in a stadium and there were probably security guards everywhere – including the parking lot. If anything happened, all she needed to do was scream her lungs out and they'd come running.

She nodded to herself and followed Hammond, who turned out to be waiting for her just around the corner.

"Okay, listen. I really have to get to a meeting, so I don't have much time, but..." He glanced around and lowered his voice, "...That story I said Ryan told me when I showed him that tox screen?"

Dani nodded. He'd told her that he'd gotten the tox screen from Dr. Foster on the morning of Amy's murder and had shown it to Ryan that afternoon in their session. Ryan had adamantly denied being addicted to anything, claiming that someone was obviously setting him up.

"I don't think it was bullshit." Hammond sighed. "I wish I had believed him right away."

"You mean..." Dani felt her eyes widen. Ryan had seemed sincere when he'd told her that he'd never used drugs in his life, but until now she hadn't been quite sure if she believed him. It was her experience that drug addicts were good liars.

"Yes. I don't know who gave him those drugs, but he didn't take them himself."

"How do you know?"

"I really shouldn't be telling you this, but..." Hammond's gaze shot around the parking lot before landing on hers again. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "Okay. After you left the other day, Ed Foster came into my office."

As she listened to his story about Dr. Foster, Dani was aware of her phone vibrating in her pocket, but she ignored it. Her mind was too busy trying to fit the new information in with the things they'd discovered so far.

In the final moments of their conversation her gaze wandered over the parking lot as she tried to make sense of it all. On some level, she noticed the car driving towards them. But she didn't give it more than a passing glance before looking back at Hammond.

§§§

He couldn't believe his luck. He'd been all prepared for a long wait, but he'd only just gotten here when the shrink had come walking out onto the parking lot, just like that. He hadn't even shut the engine down yet.

Without giving it a second thought, he grabbed the gun that was lying on the passenger seat, pulled down the bill of his Cougars cap and lowered the tinted window of his car just enough to make room for the barrel and silencer. Then he eased his foot down on the accelerator and drove in their direction at the speed of someone looking for a parking spot.

A grim smile came on his lips as he neared them. _Like sitting ducks_ , he thought. They appeared to be deep in conversation, the world around them forgotten.

He slowed down as he came level with them and raised the gun, his finger on the trigger, letting it peek out the window. Sweat beaded on his brow and he pursed his lips as he took aim.

 _Easy now..._

He squeezed and felt the gun jump in his hand. The sound of the shot was lost in the hum of the engine.

The shrink's head exploded in a mist of hair, blood and brain tissue.

He dropped the gun on the seat again and stomped his foot down on the accelerator. His tires screeched, the engine now roaring as he burned rubber to get out of there as fast as he could.

It wasn't until he'd made it onto the turnpike that he came down from his adrenalin rush and realized how wrong he had been to think he never wanted to use a gun again. He wouldn't have wanted to miss this for the world.


	16. Chapter 16

Nico scowled as he burst through the doors at the stadium exit, phone pressed to his ear. What part of _wait for me_ was so hard for her to understand? And now she wasn't picking up her phone either. He turned right and strode in the direction of the parking lot. He was halfway there when he heard an engine revving and tires screeching.

A dark sedan with tinted windows spurted away, going too fast for him to make out any specifics, like the numbers on the license plate. But the speed of the vehicle told him it was bad news. His heart starting to beat faster, Nico picked up his pace, rounded the corner – and froze, feeling like he'd run into a brick wall at the sight that greeted him.

Two people kneeling on the tarmac, their limp embrace a gruesome parody of that of a pair of drunken lovers – his hand on her hip, her arms around his ribcage. Caramel hair streaked with red, her face hidden behind the lolling head on her shoulder. The stadium wall and parking lot floor painted with the kind of angry, white-mottled crimson streaks an insane artist might use to portray the nature of violence.

Blood thundered in Nico's ears, drowning out all other sounds, including that of her name tumbling from his lips. Icewater ran through his veins, numbing his entire body. Keeping him frozen in place when he needed to move, his eyes locked on the scene before him.

Her hand moved, grabbing the fabric of the man's shirt. Pushing at his shoulder, making his body slide off of her. He landed on his side with a sickening thud, half of his face hidden behind a glistening flap of skin and hair.

Dani's hand shook as she lifted it to her face in slow motion, touching the crimson on her cheek. Her eyes went wide when she looked at her fingers. A high-pitched keening emerged from deep within her as shivers began racking her body.

Nico blinked, his paralysis broken at the sound. Relief made his knees want to buckle, but he willed them to carry his weight as he moved forward. Only when he reached her, did he allow his knees to bend, dropping down beside her, ignoring the pain of his kneecaps meeting the unyielding surface of the parking lot.

He reached for her, hauled her into his embrace and pulled her face against his chest so she wouldn't have to see anymore. His gaze shot around the parking lot, making sure no danger was lurking. But the sedan was long gone. Then he just sat there with her, holding her tight, rocking her in his arms and whispering words of comfort and relief, love and apology in her ear.

§§§

"Hold your horses, I'm coming." Henry Trask muttered, as he threw his cigarette butt into the river and limped a bit faster to the patch of trees from which Bella had just emerged and where she was now barking her lungs out, while racing back and forth between the river bank and the trees as fast as her short legs would allow. Thankfully the surface of pathway along the south shore of Chicago River was smooth, so Henry wouldn't have to worry about tripping over cracks or tree roots.

Damn knee always gave him shit on chilly, humid days like this one, which made it hard to keep up with his wife's tiny Jack Russell even when the mongrel didn't take off at breakneck speed all of a sudden, chasing down some imaginary prey. But he put up with Bella's antics because the dog made Joanie happy, and Joanie couldn't walk her herself. If Henry let her, she'd probably forget what she was doing before she was even halfway down the street and wander off. Damn Alzheimer's. Most days they walked the dog together, but Joanie hadn't been feeling well lately.

He reached Bella and crouched down as far as his knee would allow. The dog started bouncing up and down in front of him, her high-pitched barks coming even faster now. "Whoa, girl, quit the yapping and calm down already. You're gonna give yourself a heart attack if you keep this up, and then your mommy would..." His voice faltered and he tensed when his gaze landed on the red smear on the concrete, right next to his sneaker.

Henry tried to tell himself that Bella's prey hadn't been imaginary this time, that she must have caught a rabbit or a squirrel or something, but he didn't really believe it. Rabbits and squirrels lived in parks. This small patch of trees and underbrush didn't qualify.

His gaze wandered from the blood stain to the river, and he saw more red. It was a trail, ending at the river bank. Looking the other way, he amended that thought. The river bank was the start, not the end. The trail led right into the patch of trees, where an expensive-looking shoe stuck out from under the shrubs.

Groaning, Henry stood up and shuffled towards the trees, taking care not to step in any of the blood. His hand automatically dropped to his hip but grabbed nothing but air. A cynical smirk curved up the corner of his lips. Nine years since his retirement from the force and he still kept expecting to find his gun there. He moved his hand to the pocket of his jacket, taking out his phone instead. He dialed nine one one, but didn't hit the green button yet. He wanted to see what he was dealing with first. "Stay," he ordered Bella, who immediately followed him.

Pushing some branches and leaves out of the way, he bent at the waist to get a better look at the owner of the shoe. He winced when he saw the nasty headwound. Yeah, that would have bled like a bitch, alright. But it looked like the bleeding had stopped now.

Henry's gaze slid down the body, stopping at the man's chest. The guy was soaked to the skin and there was a hole in his gray jacket, right where his heart would be.

It looked like a bullet hole.

Henry ignored the pain in his knee as he knelt down and put his fingers to the man's neck, his elbow keeping Bella away from the body. A relieved sigh escaped him when he felt a slow and steady pulse. Sliding his hand to the guy's chest, he pushed the jacket aside and winced again when he saw the neat, round hole in the shirt pocket. How was this guy not dead?

The answer came seconds later, when he put his hand on the pocket. He whistled softly as he pulled a smartphone out. The screen had shattered beyond repair, but he suspected this guy wouldn't be too heartbroken over that when he woke up.

The man uttered a groan, and Henry pressed the green button on his own phone to call in the cavalry.

§§§

Dani sat in the front seat of the police cruiser, her feet dangling a couple of inches above the surface of the parking lot. She had one hand wrapped around the styrofoam cup of coffee one of the police officers had brought her. The other hand was clutching the lapels of Nico's jacket, pulling the garment tighter around her body. Her gaze was locked on Nico, who was standing a couple of feet away, talking to another police officer, but she didn't really see him. Her mind was too busy replaying images she didn't want to see.

Hammond, his gaze and gestures angry as he told her about Ryan and Foster. The stunned expression on his face when he'd suddenly stumbled forward, his words cut off mid-sentence, his hair lifted in what she'd thought, at the time, was a sudden breeze.

Of course she knew better now. It had been a bullet, exploding in his skull, that had made his hair lift like that. Dani shook her head violently, trying to stop the images from playing, but they kept coming.

Something warm and sticky suddenly covering her face, her eyes, blinding her as she instinctively brought up her arms to catch Hammond. He'd been so heavy that she hadn't been able to hold him, her knees buckling under his dead weight.

Dani pried her fingers away from Nico's jacket to wipe her hand over her face. Her fingers came away clean, which surprised her. She could still feel the blood there, even though Nico had cleaned her face with a handkerchief earlier. She stopped herself from touching her hair, which hadn't been cleaned yet, just in time. Shivering, she sipped from the coffee as the images began to play all over again.

"Dani?" Nico's gentle voice interrupted the horror movie in her head. He was crouching down in front of her now, his eyes worried. He lifted his hand to wipe away the tears she hadn't even been aware of. He nodded at the policeman standing next to him. "Officer Johnson wants to ask you a couple of questions. Are you up to that?"

A black van drove by behind him, the word Coroner stamped on the side in white letters. Dani's gaze followed it before she clenched her eyes shut, fighting the urge to draw her feet up and curl up into a ball on the car seat. That wouldn't help the police find whoever had done this, she knew. Taking a deep breath she managed a shaky nod.

"You sure?" Nico asked, when she opened her eyes again. She nodded again, and after giving her a searching look he returned her nod and stood up.

Dani's hand shot out, grabbing his arm, her fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt and the skin underneath. "Don't go!" The panicky voice didn't sound like her own at all.

"I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart." Nico put his hand on hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I'm just making room for officer Johnson. I'll stay right here. Okay?"

"It's just a couple of quick question, Miss Santino," officer Johnson said, his voice as gentle as Nico's when he stepped into the space Nico had just vacated and crouched down.

"Doctor Santino," Dani muttered, correcting him automatically, as she forced herself to release Nico's arm. He hovered right by her side, giving Johnson an ominous frown.

The cop ignored him. "Doctor Santino. Sorry. Could you start by telling me exactly what happened? In your own words, please."

 _No_. As soon as she started telling him about the shooting, she would break down in tears, Dani knew. But she also realized she needed to get this over with. So she better get it out quickly. She hauled in a breath and prepared to start talking, when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. "My phone," she said, reaching for it. Relief flooded her system. She wouldn't have to tell yet. But before she could unlock the phone, Nico took it out of her hands.

"I'll handle this," he told her. Then he looked at Johnson. "Make it quick, officer. As soon as I finish this call, I'm taking her out of here."

§§§

Alicia sat behind her desk, staring hard at the letter in her hand. Had she been wrong about Ryan?

His confession was short and to the point. He'd gotten home from the stadium earlier than planned, high on drugs, and found Amy in their bed. Sleeping, naked. A used condom lay on the floor beside the bed. But there had been no sign of the man she had been cheating him with. They had fought, and eventually Amy had run to the bathroom, where Ryan had killed her.

The confession was completely in line with the facts in the police report. But it sounded too... Factual. There was no emotion in it whatsoever. And that bothered Alicia.

Over the past two months she'd visited Ryan in prison often. Even before Dani had broken his silence, he hadn't struck her as an emotionless man. She'd seen him clench his jaw, narrow his eyes whenever she had asked or told him something he didn't like. She'd watched the turmoil in his blue eyes whenever she'd brought up Amy or the day of the murder. She'd even seen him brush away tears one time, when he thought she wasn't looking at him.

Yet, he'd written out his confession in neat, even handwriting, without going back to do a strikethrough, make a change anywhere. Not even once. The lines were equally strong throughout the entire letter, as if the pressure of his pen hadn't varied at all. Of course it was possible that he'd written several drafts and had given her the neatest one, but he was an athlete and a murder suspect, not a lawyer. Why would he care about how neat the letter looked? She looked at his signature at the bottom, squinting. Was it just her, or was the color of the pen he'd used to sign slightly different from the rest of the letter?

It was almost as if the confession had been written by someone else, but that didn't make sense either. She'd checked with prison security, and Ryan hadn't had any visitors since Dani had gone to see him the day before. So who would have given him the letter? Sean, when he'd visited right after Dani's first visit? Someone else? Or had Ryan had it with him all along? And if so, why the whole charade with the not talking and the memory loss?

None of it added up anymore. Putting the confession down on her desk, she reached for her phone. Dani and Nico needed to see this. Maybe they could make sense of it all. She dialed Dani's number and waited for the therapist to pick up. Then blinked in surprise when Nico's voice greeted her instead. "Nico. Hi. It's Alicia. Um... Where's Dani?"

"Talking to the police. We have a situation here," he said, sounding tense.

"What? What happened? Is everyone okay?"

"Frank Hammond isn't."

"Frank Hammond?" The name sounded familiar, but Alicia couldn't place it.

"The Cougars' staff psychologist. He's dead. Got shot in the head. Dani was standing right next to him."

"Oh, my God!" Alicia's hand went up to her chest. "Did they catch who did it? Was she hurt?"

"No on both counts. Look, Counselor, is there anything you need right now?" Impatience colored his voice.

Alicia eyed the letter. "It... It can wait."

"Good. Is Garrity still with you?"

"He's standing guard right outside my office."

"Put him on the phone."

"Sure. Hold on." Alicia got up and crossed to the door. "Nico's on the phone for you," she told Jason, handing him her phone. Then she waited, listening to his end of the conversation – which consisted mostly of yes and no answers.

"Yeah, I know a place," he said then. He listened, then gave Nico an adress. "We'll meet you there," he said, before ending the call and handing her phone back. "Grab your purse," he told her.

"Why? Where are we going?" Alicia asked as she walked back into the office and grabbed the letter and her purse.

"Safe house." He motioned her toward the elevator.

"I am going to a safe house? Why?"

"You and Doctor Santino both. Careles isn't sure the bullet was meant for Hammond. The shooter is still on the loose, which means he could come after you next." He said it matter-of-factly, as if this was an everyday occurrence. And for him, maybe it was.

But his statement made Alicia's knees feel all wobbly. She opened her mouth, but she really didn't know what to say, so she shut it again. Her phone started buzzing in her pocket when they stepped into the elevator, and she took it out to see an unknown number on the screen. "Yes?" she asked, her voice slightly trembling.

"Is this Alicia Florrick?" A woman asked.

Alicia leaned on the elevator wall for support, her heart beating faster. The woman sounded like she was going to add more bad news to the pile. "It is. Who is this?"

"I'm calling from the Chicago Mercy Hospital. A man was brought into our ER an hour ago, and he's been asking for you ever since. He says his name is John Elfman."

* * *

 **A/N: Happy birthday again, Kathy! ;) And welcome, new readers. Glad you are here, don't hesitate to share your thoughts on this chapter, and the story so far.**


	17. Chapter 17

As she sat in the passenger seat of Jason's car, hugging herself and watching the buildings fly by, Alicia tried to keep the strong feeling of déja vu at bay that had hit her the moment the woman on the phone had uttered the words _gunshot wounds_. Her vision had blurred, her insides had turned to water, her knees had given out. Jason had been quick to catch her before she could sag to the floor of the elevator.

The voice of the hospital woman had called her name several times before Alicia was able to speak again, and had then assured her again that John was both alive and awake, and asking for her.

 _Alive. Awake. Not like three years ago. Not like Will._

It wasn't the same. Not at all. Back then, the call had come from a friend. At night, not around lunchtime. It had been her husband's campaign manager who had rushed her to the hospital, not a bodyguard. And when she got there...

 _No. Stop thinking about that._

Alicia blinked, shook her head to clear the memories. John was alive. Awake. Asking for her. According to the hospital woman. She needed to get to him fast, so she could see for herself that he was okay. When Jason had driven her to Dani and Nico's hotel and then her own apartment, she had barely managed to keep her impatience under control. Jason had made sense when he'd told her they would need clothes, and tooth brushes and stuff, at the safe house. And he'd promised her they'd go straight to the hospital after picking up the overnight bags for all of them. But...

"Wait. Where are we going?" As she asked, they rounded a corner and suddenly they were driving along the lake, the city falling away behind them. The hospital was nowhere near here. She turned to Jason, who kept staring straight ahead. "Jason. Where are you taking me?"

He sighed heavily. "The safe house."

"No. You can't! You promised! I need to get to the hospital! John is asking for me! He was shot, dammit! I need to go see him!" The shrill voice didn't sound like hers at all, but Alicia didn't care. Keeping her emotions in check was just too much work for her right now.

"I know." He threw her a sympathetic glance – but kept driving in the same direction. "I'm sorry, Alicia. Just following orders."

"To hell with your orders! Turn this car around, now!" She pounded her fist on the dashboard. "He could be dying, don't you get that? I have to go see him, before... Before..." Her voice faltered, her eyes burned. She clenched them shut, took a shaky breath. _Alive. Awake._

"Alicia. Listen to me."

Jason's voice was gentle, steady. Calm. All the things she wasn't. She kept her eyes closed as she listened to him giving the longest speech she'd ever heard him utter.

"I understand you're worried. Trust me, I do. If I were in your shoes, I'd get to the hospital faster than you can blink. And I will get you there. Soon. But we still have a shooter on the loose, and he could be gunning for you next. We have to take precautions first. There are vests in the safe house. If I'd had one in my car, we would have been on our way to the hospital already, but I don't. I checked. So we have to go to the safe house first."

 _Vests?_ Her eyes opened, her brow furrowed.

"Kevlar. You know, bulletproof," he clarified.

The rational part of her brain knew he was making sense. Again. Damn him. The emotional part was struggling to stay mad at him, but she felt the fight leave her body. He was just trying to do his job. "To keep me safe," she muttered, and he nodded, his shoulders sagging minutely. She squared her own, gathered the strength it took to lock her emotions away for now and let her rational side take over. "How far? To the safe house?"

"We're almost there."

Alicia nodded, once. Then she crossed her arms over her chest, grabbing her upper arms, hugging herself as tight as she could to keep from falling apart again, and turned to face out the window. If she had been a religious woman, she would have prayed. But she wasn't. So her new mantra would have to do for the rest of the way.

 _Alive. Awake._

§§§

The scorching water beat down on her, biting her skin. It was only just this side of bearable, but Dani welcomed the sensation as she turned her face into the spray and tried to let it wash away the memories. The blood had long gone from her skin and her hair. She'd watched it turn the shampoo suds into a sickening copper before it drained away and had immediately washed herself again, and again, until there were only white suds left. All in all, it must have taken her at least fifteen minutes.

But she still didn't feel clean. She doubted she ever would.

 _Sticky. Warm. Wet... Stop it!_

She dragged her hands over her face, scrubbing it again. The skin was starting to feel tight and raw, but she couldn't stop scrubbing. Not until the full movie had played out again.

Minutes later she lowered her hands, blinking against the soft light in the bathroom. The shower cabin was completely fogged over, but she could see something through the glass that hadn't been there before.

 _Clothes._

She'd stripped down immediately after entering the bathroom and shutting the door in Nico's face. Thrown all the clothes she had been wearing into the wastebasket, knowing she could never wear them again. Ever. But now there was a pile of clothes on the vanity.

Nico. He had wanted to come in here with her, but she hadn't let him. Even though she yearned to lean on him like she had at the stadium, to let him take care of her like she knew he would. She couldn't. She wouldn't. She needed to be alone now, she needed space to gather her strength. He'd left, but apparently he'd come back later, while she had her eyes closed. She hadn't even heard him come in. Hadn't sensed his presence. Or noticed him leaving again. That's how far she'd been gone. But no more. It was time to get a grip.

"Suck it up, Santino," she muttered, shutting off the water. The clothes must mean that Alicia and Jason had arrived with the overnight bags. They were probably all waiting for her downstairs, so she needed to stop wallowing. They needed to know about Foster.

She dried off quickly and pulled on the soft yoga pants, bulky sweater and warm socks Nico had left for her. There was a hairdryer in the bathroom, but she opted for a ponytail instead. She'd wasted enough time in the shower already.

She stepped out into what appeared to be the master bedroom of the house, finding it empty. Her and Nico's bags were sitting on the bed and she considered digging around for her nightcream, to ease the tightness of her skin. But that would mean putting something on her face, and she didn't think she could handle that just yet. Even if it wasn't warm, it would feel a bit sticky. And wet.

 _Don't go there._

She deliberatley focused her attention on the here and now. The rug she stood on. Warm, but in a good way. And soft. Voices, coming from downstairs. The smell of fresh coffee, mingling with the scent of her shampoo. She inhaled deeply, letting the familiar sounds, smells and sensations wash through her. They were so... normal. She didn't feel normal yet, not by a long shot. But maybe if she acted normal long enough, she would eventually start to feel it again.

Walking down the stairs, she heard Alicia's voice. She was saying something about a hospital, sounding angry and worried. "What's going on? Who's in the hospital?" Dani asked, stepping into the living room.

The four people sitting around the dining table fell silent as they turned to her, worry etched on their faces.

"Hi," Dani said, feeling awkward. "It's just me."

"I thought you were sleeping," Nico said, getting up and crossing the room to guide her to the table.

"I just got out of the shower." She sat down on the chair next to his, trying to look normal so they would stop looking at her like she might break. "Why were you talking about a hospital?"

"It's John," Alicia said. Tension radiated off of her. "He was shot this morning. And I want to go see him now. Like you promised." She glared at Jason.

"Shot?" Dani echoed, tamping down the memory of the way Hammond's hair had lifted. "Oh my God, is he... Okay?"

"That's what I'd like to find out," Alicia muttered.

"All we know is that he was brought in to the ER about three hours ago, and that he's awake," Jason said.

"But who shot him? Peretti?" They all looked at her again. Nico raised his eyebrow in question. Alicia looked stricken. Jason's brow furrowed.

"Peretti? As in the guy who's running for Governor?" The man sitting next to Jason asked, sounding stunned.

He'd been the one to greet Nico and her when they had arrived here, Dani remembered. But she hadn't been paying a lot of attention to him then, so she didn't have the faintest idea of who he was.

"One and the same," Alicia said. "But I really don't think he would shoot John. At least, not personally."

"Wow." The man looked at Jason. "You've gotten yourself into quite the mess, little brother."

Brother. That made sense. Dani saw the resemblance now. But introductions would have to wait, since Alicia shoved her chair back and stood up. "I'm going to the hospital right now, with or without you," she announced.

All the men started talking at once. Dani frowned, trying to discern what each of them was saying. Jason said something about Alicia's clothing size, his brother was telling Alicia to wait, and Nico said something about compromising the safe house.

"I have waited long enough," Alicia shouted. "I am going to see him right now, and you can't stop me!"

"Of course you are going to see John," Dani said, in the silence that followed the lawyer's outburst. "Why wouldn't she?" She directed the question at Nico.

"Dani..." He sighed. "We can't risk it. There is a man with a gun out there. What if he follows her back here?" He glared at Alicia then. "Elfman is safe at the hospital, Counselor. You are not. And I will not let you lead anyone to..." His gaze shot to Dani and back, "...back here," he corrected himself.

Alicia opened her mouth, but Dani lifted her hand to cut her off. "Nico... What if it were me lying in that hospital?" Looking at Jason, she raised her eyebrow. "Or your fiancee? Wouldn't you move heaven and earth to be with the one you love? Danger or no danger?" From the corner of her eye, she saw Alicia freeze at the same time she said _love_.

"Yes. I would. As I already told her. And him." Jason nodded at Nico, then looked at his brother. "Steve. Vests?"

"Garage. I'll show you." Steve glanced at her and Nico, then at Alicia. "And then I'll drive you there."

Both men left the room, and Dani couldn't escape the feeling that they were relieved to have an excuse to do so. She looked at Nico again. "Steve?" she asked.

"Garrity. We're in his house. They run their security firm together."

"So they know how to make sure no one follows them back here," Dani replied. "And they have probably made sure there is a good securitysystem in place in case anyone does. Right?"

He nodded, but the muscles in his jaw were working.

"Nico, I know you're trying to keep me safe. And Alicia, too. But I won't let you stop her from going to see John just because you're worried about me. Can't you see that she's just as worried about John?" Dani put her hands on top of his clenched fists and squeezed. "You know, if it were me, and you were the one that was hurt? I would sneak out on my own."

He frowned and she was taken aback by the storm of emotion in his eyes as he let that sink in, but she didn't push. "Okay. She can go," he said, finally. "But you can't. You're staying right here."

Dani just nodded, once. Then she turned to Alicia, who had been following the conversation with her arms folded and her head tilted. "Go make sure your man's alright," she said.

"He's not..." Alicia sighed. "Never mind." The lawyer started to walk away, then seemed to think of something and turned back. "Dani? Are you? Alright, I mean?"

Dani bit her lip. No, she wasn't. She still wanted to curl up into a ball, but she knew that as soon as she closed her eyes the images she had been fighting back, even while she dealt with Nico's over-protectiveness just now, would return. It was only three thirty in the afternoon, but she already dreaded the moment she would have to go to sleep. At the same time, she felt exhaustion weighing her body down.

But that wasn't what Alicia needed to hear right now. "I will be," she said.

§§§

"You are a very lucky man, Mr. Elfman," the ER doctor said. "You literally dodged a bullet there." He snickered at his own joke.

John just rolled his eyes. The pounding in his head and the sharp stabs in his chest every time he inhaled didn't make him feel very lucky. Although he supposed he should be grateful that he could still feel pain. "So what's the damage?" He asked.

"Three fractured ribs and a concussion. We're going to keep you here overnight to monitor you, make sure the concussion doesn't get worse. But tomorrow..."

"No. I'm going home." John sat up and bit back a groan when his ribs protested the movement. "Today. Just give me some painkillers and I'll be fine." No way was he going to stay here, waiting for Mike or someone else to come and finish the job. Of course they could break in to his apartment as well, but at least he had a securitysystem there that would warn him if they did.

"I can only let you go home if you have someone who can stay with you for at least twenty-four hours. Do you?"

"Yes. He does."

John turned his head in the direction of the voice, blinking when the motion made him dizzy. Alicia stood in the doorway of the exam room, looking pale and shaken. And somehow... bulkier than she had been this morning. But maybe that was just his injured head, playing tricks on him. "Alicia. You're here." And so was her bodyguard, hovering behind her and looking all tense and edgy.

She nodded. "Are..." Her voice broke. She gulped in a breath, shuddered it out and tried again. "Are you alright?"

John tried to shrug. _Ouch. Bad idea._ "Better now you're here," he managed, between clenched teeth. Alarm flashed on her face. "I'm fine, Alicia. Really."

The ER doctor cleared his throat. "That's not what I would call it. Mr. Elfman has three fractured ribs and a concussion. He needs to be under observation for the next twenty-four hours. At least."

Alicia frowned at him. "And he will be. But not here." She turned to the bodyguard, folding her arms over her chest. "He's coming with us to your brother's house. We're not leaving him here," she stated.

"I know. I'll give Careles the heads up. He'll probably want extra security." The bodyguard took his phone from his pocket and stepped out of sight.

 _Brother's house? Extra security?_ "What's going on? Why can't we go to my place? Or yours?" John asked, his brow furrowed, but Alicia shook her head.

"Long story. I'll tell you in the car."

"Okay." John looked at the doctor again. "I'll need my clothes. And a release form."

"They're in that closet," the doctor pointed to the closet, then turned to leave. "I'll go get your release form."

Alicia walked to the closet and gasped when she took out his jacket and shirt. "Oh my God," she whispered, and when she turned back to him her face had grown white as a sheet. She held up his clothes, showing him the holes. "How...?" She asked, her gaze sliding down to his chest.

He smirked. "Apple, one, bad guys with guns, zero," he said, trying to get her to smile. Instead, she hugged his clothes to her chest as tears started spilling down her cheeks. John was on his feet in an instant, ignoring the dizziness and the pain as he took two steps and reached out to her. He ran his thumbs across her cheeks. "Alicia, hey, don't cry. I'm okay."

"Alive," she whispered. She released a sigh, blinking her tears away. Nodded once, and made a visible effort to compose herself. She handed him his clothes and guided him back to the bed. "Who did this?" she asked, in her normal voice.

"Mike Turner. Peretti's assistant. Could you help me...?" John gestured at the hospital gown.

"So Peretti's definitely involved? Wh... Oh, my God, John." She'd stepped forward while talking, and helped him out of the gown. Now she stood frozen, her eyes fixed on his chest. John looked down and winced when he saw the bruise the impact of the bullet had left. Looking back up he saw her swallow and shake her head. She dropped her gaze from his and reached for his shirt. "What did you find in Peretti's office that made him want you dead?"

He lifted his arms one by one so she could help him put the shirt on, hiding his grimace by looking at his lap. "A flash drive." He pushed her hands away when she wanted to start fastening the buttons. This, he could do himself. "I copied it to my own computer, but when I wanted to put it back in Peretti's office, he caught me."

A knock on the doorframe had them both looking up. It was the bodyguard. "We're good to go," he said. Then he handed Alicia something that looked like a bulky, black vest. At her surprised look, he explained, "Steve brought an extra one, just in case. I had him bring it up here just now."

"Thanks, Jason," Alicia said. She turned back to John. "Here, put this on too. It's a bulletproof vest," she told him when she saw his frown.

Something clicked in John's mind. "You're wearing one too – under your coat," he said, alarm rushing through him. That's why she seemed so bulky all of a sudden. She nodded. "Why?" Even as he asked her the question, he lifted his arms away from his sides so she could put the vest on him. This time, he couldn't hide his wince. The vest was heavy and tight, and his ribs felt like they were being crushed some more.

"Just a precaution," she said, fastening the straps. "There. I hope it doesn't hurt too much." She stepped back, but he reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"Alicia. What the hell is going on here?" He demanded.

"Doc's on his way with the release form." As Jason said it, the doctor came back in, clipboard and pen in hand. His eyes widened when he saw the vest, but he didn't say anything. He just handed John the clipboard and pen.

"Okay, let's get you out of here," Alicia said when John had scrawled his name on the form. "Thanks, Doctor."

"What should I tell the police?" The doctor asked. "They just called, wanted to know if you'd woken yet. They're on their way here now."

"Tell them that Mr. Elfman is on his way to the police station. Come on, John, let's go."

The doctor frowned, eyeing the vest again.

"Don't worry, it's just a precaution," Alicia assured him.

"But his ribs..."

"I know. We'll take the vest off as soon as we can." She sounded impatient now. "You good to go, John?"

"Yeah. Fine. It's not that uncomfortable, actually." He tried to smile but his teeth were clenching again, sweat beading on his brow, and the doctor didn't look convinced. But John stood up up, feeling antsy all of a sudden. Alicia was wearing a bulletproof vest, which meant she must be in danger. She had risked her life by coming here. For him. The least he could do in return was make sure they got out of here fast.

"Thank you, Doctor," he said, then shuffled past the man and out the door, where Jason was waiting in the presence of a man John had never seen before. Steve, he presumed, but he was too busy biting back the pain to get any words out, so introductions would come later. They walked to the hospital exit in silence. "We're not really going to the police station, are we?" He asked Alicia when she helped him into a silver SUV.

"No. Not yet anyway." She climbed in after him, while Jason and Steve took the front seats, Steve at the wheel. "We're going to a safe house – well, more like a safe mansion, but you get the idea."

"A safe house? What the hell? What's going on?"

"Are you sure you're okay with the vest?" Alicia asked. "You look like you're in pain."

"I'll live. Tell me what's going on, Alicia. Now."

She hesitated, then sighed and started telling him about everything that had happened since he last saw her that morning.

§§§

Nico took care not to make any sound as he opened the door to the master bedroom, but when he peeked inside he realized there was no need to be quiet. Dani was standing at the window, shoulders hunched, hugging herself tight. She looked so young and fragile, her damp hair in a ponytail, her sweater all but swallowing her up.

He stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him, seeing her shoulders tense. "It's just me," he murmured. "Why aren't you asleep?" She'd told him she was going to bed right after the others had left.

"I-I'm not that tired after all." She turned away from the window then, weaving on her feet, her face drawn, her eyes haunted. "Have you heard from Alicia yet?"

"Garrity just called. Elfman is okay. He's actually coming to stay here too." He crossed the room and pulled her close, his heart settling when he felt her warm body nestle against his. He'd come so close to losing her today... But he wouldn't think about that now. "Dani, you need to sleep."

She whispered something too low for him to hear.

"What's that, honey?"

She pushed away from him slightly and looked up at him. "How?" She repeated, her voice trembling. Before he could say anything, she continued, her eyes filling. "How am I supposed to sleep? I can't just lie down and close my eyes. I tried. But I... I kept seeing..." Her voice broke, tears trickling down her cheeks. "How, Nico?" She hid her face against his chest, her shoulders starting to shake as she began crying in earnest.

Nico clenched his jaw as he held her, stroking her back as he tried to keep his fury under control. She needed his support now, not his anger. But if he ever caught the bastard who'd put those images in her head...

Minutes later, Dani's sobbing slowed down and then stopped. She tilted her head to look at him, her eyes pleading. "Tell me how you did it," she said, her voice coming out hoarse.

He blinked. "Did what?"

"Back when..." She hesitated, dropped her gaze. "When you were a SEAL. How did you sleep at night?"

Nico's brow furrowed as he thought back to all the times he'd seen people die in jungles, in deserts. Sometimes by the hand of an enemy, sometimes by his own hands. He knew he must have lost sleep over them, but he couldn't quite remember. It wasn't until after he'd left active duty that the memories had really started haunting him. "I just... compartmentalized, I guess. Focused on something else whenever I thought of... Bad things."

"Like what? What did you focus on?"

 _Booze. Women._ There had been a lot of both in those early days after he'd returned stateside. But he couldn't tell her that. "Things that made me feel... better, even if just a little."

"That's it? Think of good things. Happy things." Dani bit her lip, uncertainty in her eyes. "I'm not sure I can just... But I guess I can try." Surprising him, she lifted on her toes and brushed her lips over his, her hands coming up to pluck at the buttons of his shirt.

"Dani, that's not what I..." He started, but she put her finger on his lips.

"Help me, Nico," she whispered. "Help me focus on... other things. Help me forget, just for a little while..." She let her hand trail down his chest. The other one slid to his nape, pulling his face closer until their foreheads touched. "I can't do it myself, but you can. I know you can."

He searched her eyes, his heart missing a beat when he realized what he saw in them.

 _Trust._

One of her hands reached his groin, cupping him there through his pants, and he felt his blood rush south, hardening him. Nico inhaled sharply and put his hand on hers, staying it. Everything inside him screamed to just shut up and take her to bed, but he controlled himself, not wanting to take advantage of her vulnerable state of mind. He opened his mouth to tell her that, but the words refused to form. Her hand squeezed him lightly, and he fought the urge to thrust his hips forward. Shaking his head in disgust at his own depravity, he moved her hand away from his body.

Dani tensed, dropping her gaze and taking a step back. Her hands fell to her sides and balled into fists. "Nico... I know I have no right to ask you to do this for me. Not after last night. But I..." She looked up at him again, her eyes bleak. "I-I need you." She swallowed hard. "Please?"

Nico felt like a selfish prick, but his body didn't care. He reached for her. "Are you sure?" He ground out as he pulled her body flush against his, cupping her ass. She nodded, but he needed more. "Say it."

"Ye..."

He didn't wait for her to finish the word before he let his mouth crash down on hers. Because he needed her too. Maybe even more than she needed him. Definitely more than he needed his next breath. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted her off her feet. She wrapped her legs around his hips and he carried her to the bed, praying that the others would take their time driving back here from the hospital.

He let her slide down his body until she was standing again, then let his hands follow her curves, taking the sweater up with them. They broke apart and she lifted her arms, helping him take the garment off. He flung it to the side, groaning when he saw she wasn't wearing anything underneath, and put his hand on her ponytail in order to slide the hairband down and release her hair to cascade down her back. The way he liked it most.

Tangling his fingers in the silky strands, he tilted her face and devoured her mouth again, letting his tongue sweep in when she gasped. She pressed her bare breasts against his chest, her hands brushing up his back, then down again. She used her nails on the way down, and the sensation drove him wild. She'd undone a couple of his shirt buttons earlier, just enough for him to whip his shirt over his head without bothering to unfasten the rest.

Nico dropped to his knees, pushing her yogapants down. No panties either. He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent, feeling her hands on his head, her fingers curling into his hair as she tried to pull him closer. But he noticed that her legs were trembling, so instead of indulging her he pushed at her hips, making her back up until the backs of her knees hit the bed. "Lie down," he ordered, breathing hard.

When she did, Nico rose to his feet and made quick work of shedding his trousers and boxers. Then he looked at her lying there, eyes closed, swollen lips parted, hair fanning out on the pillow, cheeks now flushed with arousal. No longer fragile, but wanton.

He got ready to pounce on her, to devour her whole... And then reality slammed into him when she opened her eyes. In their chocolate depths he saw the lingering shadows of her earlier bleakness. She may not look fragile on the outside, but on the inside, she still was. When she reached out her hand, motioning for him to join her on the bed, he struggled to keep his raw desire under control. This was about her, not about him.

He climbed onto the bed and lay down beside her, resting on his elbow, the backs of his fingers brushing her cheek. His other hand lightly trailed up her legs as he bent his head to touch his lips to hers. She grabbed his head and pulled it down, trying to deepen the kiss, but he held back, kept every single one of his caresses gentle, soft. Slow.

She moaned deep in her throat when his hand touched her folds, teasing lightly before sliding further up so he could cup her breast, swipe his thumb over her taut nipple. She arched her back, asking for firmer pressure and he indulged her by rolling the peak gently between his thumb and forefinger before returning his hand to her stomach as he lifted his head and kissed his way down to her breasts, licking and lightly sucking both nipples as his hand reached for the warmth between her thighs.

When he felt her wetness, he almost lost it. Reminding himself that this was about her, not him, he took his time inserting a finger instead of plunging two fingers deep as he really wanted to. She lifted her hips in welcome. He withdrew when she lowered her hips, then slid his finger back in, unhurried. He was trying to set up a slow, languid rythm, but Dani had other ideas.

She leaned up on her elbows. "Nico. I'm still thinking," she said.

He stilled. Pulled out his finger. Opened his mouth to utter an apology, to ask her if he needed to stop. But she shifted her weight so that she could reach down, putting her hand on his, keeping it between her thighs.

"I want to stop thinking," she whispered. "But I can't. Not as long as you touch me like I'm about to break. I'm not made of glass." She put her hand on his back, raking her nails over his skin, and he shuddered. She wasn't gentle.

"You want me to...?" He swallowed hard, his heart pounding against his ribcage as he searched her eyes.

"I want you to stop holding back." She pulled his mouth down on hers, hard. Clenched her thighs, trapping his hand between them and pressing it firmly against her folds.

The leash Nico had on his control snapped as he kissed her back, rubbing his fingers down there until she opened her legs again, granting him access. He plunged two fingers in, relishing the way she clamped down on them. Breaking their kiss, he brought his face to her breast again, pulling her nipple into his mouth and sucking on it as he massaged the other one with his free hand. When he raked his teeth across it he felt her hands tangle in his hair, keeping him in place as she arched off the bed, frantically working herself towards her release.

Dani's orgasm came hard and fast, her body going completely rigid as all her muscles tightened and she released a strangled cry before dropping down on the bed, panting.

Nico pulled his fingers out and raised his head to look at her, the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. But he didn't get much time to drink in the sight, because she pushed at his shoulder, rolling him over. And then she was straddling him, reaching between her legs to take him in her hand. Her grip was firm and he hissed, letting his head fall back against the pillow as his eyes fell closed. His hands came up, gripping her hips as she lowered herself onto him and took him deep, wet heat surrounding him.

She let out a long, satisfied groan and started riding him.

He opened his eyes, meeting hers as his hands clamped down on her hips, guiding her up and down harder, faster. His pelvis thrust up off the bed to meet hers every time it came down. She braced her hands on his chest and kept her gaze locked on his, and he saw nothing but unrestrained lust there now.

He changed her angle slightly and watched her eyes flutter closed right before she threw her head back. He slid one hand off her hips, around to the front, pressing his thumb to her most sensitive spot, and reveled in the sight of her falling apart, in the sensation of her inner muscles clenching around him as more moisture surged. He kept thrusting up into her until she collapsed on top of him. Then he swiftly rolled them over so he was on top of her, feeling like he was about to explode.

"Look at me," he ground out between clenched teeth, holding himself utterly motionless. Her eyes opened and he saw what he needed to see. She was completely in the moment with him, all hints of fragility gone for the time being.

Nico let go, pounding hard and fast. Dani's legs came up, hooking around his waist, her heels digging into his ass, spurring him on. He reared up, supporting his weight with his hands, crashing his pelvis into hers as she lifted her hands to brace herself against the headboard and push back against him.

Blinding release slammed through him, making his eyes clench shut, his body go taut as he felt himself twitch and throb violently. He suddered as he emptied himself inside her, then crashed down, shifting his body at the last possible moment so he wouldn't crush her with his weight.

Minutes later, when his breathing began to slow, he rolled to his back. She came with him, resting her head on his chest. "Think you can sleep now?" He whispered, and felt her nod. Then he just lay there with her, staring up at the ceiling, watching the room grow dusk as afternoon ended and evening began.

Long after exhaustion had taken her under, Nico's eyes were still open. Downstairs he could hear the voices of the others when they returned from the hospital. But he couldn't make himself leave the bed. Not yet. He needed to be close to her, to keep touching her. It was the only way to keep the image of her and Hammond kneeling on the parking lot at bay.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Sorry for the giant delay... Hope you're all still with me!**

* * *

It was too quiet here, Alicia decided before swinging her feet over the edge of the bed she'd been tossing and turning in for hours.

Located on a small peninsula jutting out into Lake Michigan just outside Chicago, the safe house was surrounded by water on three sides. On the fourth side, a gate separated the Garrity property from the coast highway. One would have heard the sounds of the highway, had it not been muffled by the distance and the trees that lined the ridiculously long driveway. Jason had told her when they arrived that Steve and he had inherited the house from their grandparents, but that he hadn't been able to live here because it was too secluded. So Steve had bought him out and he had gotten himself an apartment downtown, close to their security firm's headquarters. Alicia thought she would probably have done the same if she'd been in his shoes.

From his own bed on the other side of the guest room, John groaned in his sleep. She threw a glance at the digital clock, then got up to wake him once again and check how he was doing. "Hey, it's me," she whispered when his eyes opened and his groggy gaze focused on hers. She sat down on the side of his bed.

"Alicia. What time is it?"

"Two AM. Do you know where we are?"

"Sure. We're at..." There was a slight pause and Alicia felt alarm prickle her skin as he seemed to search for words. "At a safe house. Garrity's house," he whispered then.

"Very good. Now, can you tell me who the current President is?"

He frowned and Alicia held her breath, feeling tension settle in her spine. His pause was longer this time. Then he mumbled Obama's name and she relaxed again. She smoothed a gentle hand over his forehead. "Okay. How are you feeling? Any dizziness? Nausea? Do you need the pain meds?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm... okay. More or less." He started to yawn, then winced. "Just tired," he added, his voice laced with pain. "It's bearable," he assured her when he caught her worried frown.

"I'll let you sleep then." Alicia waited until his eyes were closed, his breathing evened out, before getting up. Eyeing her own bed, she sighed. She was still feeling tense and wound up, so sleep probably wasn't in the cards for her yet. Would Steve mind if she raided his kitchen for wine? Probably not, right? He'd told everyone to make themselves at home when they were having dinner earlier. And if he did mind, she could always buy him a new bottle. Not that she was planning on drinking an entire bottle. Just a glass or two would be enough to help her relax. Her mind made up, she quietly left the guest room and stepped out into the moonlit hallway.

And jumped when she heard a clatter coming from downstairs. Was someone breaking in? She looked around, trying to guess which room Dani and Nico may be in, then shook her head at her own foolishness. It didn't matter which room was theirs, because she wasn't going to knock on their door like some frightened child anyway. The very notion of someone trying to break in to a house that had at least two people standing guard outside and a state-of-the-art alarm system in place was ridiculous.

Still she tried to be as quiet as possible making her way downstairs. The sound had come from the kitchen, the door of which was closed. Alicia put her hand on the handle and took a deep breath, tensing all her muscles before she inched the door open just far enough to be able to peek inside. Her eyebrows climbed high at the same time her nostrils flared as she took in the scene that greeted her.

Every available horizontal surface in the kitchen was covered by tupperware containers, bowls and oven dishes. Two pots were boiling on the stove and the remains of chopped up vegetables littered the counter top. The mouthwatering smells wafting through the air reminded Alicia of Giuseppe's, the Italian restaurant where she and Dani had dinner on the night the therapist had arrived in Chicago.

A door on the opposite side of the kitchen opened and Dani came through, a mop and bucket in her hands. She didn't seem to notice Alicia when she filled the bucket by the sink and then turned to put it on the floor. She was wearing an apron that was too big for her and Alicia gasped when she saw the red stains on it, before she realized it was probably tomato sauce or something and not blood.

Dani looked up, startled. Then she smiled. "Alicia. Hi. Did I wake you?"

Stepping into the kitchen and closing the door behind her, Alicia shook her head. "What are you doing?"

"Mopping." Dani held up the mop. "Dropped a pot of pasta sauce."

"Oh. But what's... This?" Alicia gestured around.

"Stress." Dani looked down at the bucket, dunked the mop in the water and sighed. "I cook when I need to... take my mind off – things."

And she'd had a lot of things to take her mind off tonight. Alicia remembered the look in Dani's eyes this afternoon, when asked if she was okay. Clearly, she was not. And whose fault was that? "I'm sorry," she said.

Dani tilted her head, an eyebrow raised in question. "For?"

"What happened today."

"Not your fault." Dani started mopping the floor. "Anyway, I woke up a couple of hours ago, and couldn't get back to sleep. So I decided to make the guys outside a snack. Biscotti. And then... Well, I went a little overboard, I guess. Could you check that for me?" She gestured to the pots on the stove, their lids starting to rattle.

Alicia lifted the lids and saw spaghetti and sauce, both about to boil over. "Wow. You made enough to feed an army." She turned down the gas, hearing Dani chuckle behind her.

"You did notice all the bulky men hanging around this house, right? I'm guessing I made just enough to feed them for one day. There. All clean." Dani came to stand beside her by the counter, carefully emptying the bucket in the sink. As they watched the reddish fluid drain away, Alicia noticed the slight flinch the therapist was trying to hide.

"I'm really sorry, Dani." She held up a hand when Dani wanted to say something. "And don't tell me it's not my fault, because it is. You'd have been nowhere near that parking lot if I hadn't dragged you into this mess to begin with."

"Alicia..." Dani put the bucket on the floor and placed the mop in it, its handle resting against the counter. Then she put her hand on Alicia's arm. "It's true that I am here at your request. But I could have said no. It was my own decision to come here."

 _Sure. Like it was Will's own decision to go to the courtroom._ Alicia looked down at the sink, trying to push the memory away before Dani saw it in her eyes.

"What happened today, is not your fault. Or mine. If you want to blame someone, blame the right person. The shooter."

 _Jeffrey Grant._ Alicia wanted to spit out the name, but realized just in time that Dani was talking about whoever shot Hammond. "I know," she said instead. Because she did know. After losing Will, she had spent months blaming herself, her husband, the prosecutor, the deputy who'd been so careless with his gun, and even Will himself. But eventually, she'd come to the same conclusion Dani was drawing now. "In my head, I know."

"The heart is a different matter though," Dani murmured, true understanding in her voice.

It made Alicia wonder what the therapist felt guilty about, but she didn't know how to ask. So she just sighed and nodded.

Dani squeezed her arm. "I need wine," she stated then. "Let me put this back in the basement and I'll bring back the bottle of Pinot Noir I spotted there earlier. You find the glasses. I'd say we deserve a girls night."

§§§

Apparently, even mobsters kept their promises sometimes. Vince Peretti sipped his scotch as he leaned back in the leather wingback recliner in his home study and flicked the remote to turn off the evening news in the middle of their report about the shooting. Either that, or someone else had had a bone to pick with Frank Hammond. When Cougars general manager Chuck Vaughn had called him with the news of Hammond's demise this afternoon, Vince had felt relieved. Farese was cleaning house, as Vince had asked him to. One less problem to worry about. And according to the news, the police didn't have any suspects yet. So that was good too. Now if only Vito would take his damn operation elsewhere, Vince's political career would be safe.

His phone started buzzing on his desk, interrupting his train of thought. It was Mike, he saw as he put his glass down and grabbed the phone. Standing up, he walked to the floor to ceiling window that provided a killer view of the city lights before he answered.

"She's not here," Mike said. "Looks like she bolted."

"How do you know? Maybe she just went out on a date or something."

"Not unless she plans on spending the night. There are clothes on the bed. Like she's been packing. And there's no toothbrush or shampoo in the bathroom either."

"Shit." Vince closed his eyes, leaning his forehead on the cool glass. He'd hoped he could avoid this. There was no telling what it would do to his position in the Governor's race. Johnny could probably have predicted it for him, but Johnny was gone. And apparently he'd talked to his girlfriend about that damn flash drive before Mike took care of him. Why else would she have gone into hiding? He let out a resigned sigh. "You know what to do."

Breaking the connection without waiting for Mike's reply, he pocketed the phone and stared out over the city, his mouth a grim line. Sure, the Florricks were divorced, and it hadn't been pretty. But Peter Florrick and his damn campaign manager would no doubt find a way to spin the results of the accident he'd just ordered in a way that would make Florrick look like he was a grieving, heartbroken widower and win them a lot of sympathy votes. Vince almost called Mike back to tell him to leave the woman in peace. But he really couldn't risk her telling anyone else what she knew. Leaving her alive would be foolish, to say the least.

§§§

Dani refilled their glasses for the third time while she waited for Alicia to return from checking on John, a pleasant buzz filling her mind. They'd silently agreed not to talk about the case, and Dani was glad. The images in her head were still there, but talking about kids and jobs and other mundane topics had given her some reprieve. For the first time today, she actually felt relaxed. Well, not really for the first time, there had been those moments with Nico, after the lovemaking she'd talked him into this afternoon. She sighed, her face clouding as she remembered how she'd used him for comfort. She was falling back into old habits, habits she'd thought she'd left behind after her divorce. Depending on a man to hold her upright, instead of standing on her own two feet like the strong, independent woman she was supposed to be.

The kitchen door opened to let Alicia in. The lawyer looked worried, and Dani was relieved to be able to put her own worries aside again. "How is he?" She asked quietly.

"In pain. But he refuses to take a pain pill." Alicia sighed as she climbed back on the stool by the kitchen island. She picked up the wineglass and sipped. Then she let out a sigh, putting the glass down and looking at it as she played with the stem. "Well, at least his concussion hasn't gotten worse."

"That's good." Dani sipped her own wine. "So... What's the deal with you two?" She ventured, remembering the way Alicia had frozen up at the mention of love this afternoon.

"He was my campaign manager when I ran for State's Attorney two years ago. I was married, but we had a... fling. One night." Alicia shrugged. "Then he left."

"But he came back," Dani said.

"He did. That was a surprise." A small smile curved Alicia's mouth, but the look in her eyes was anything but happy. "I'm pretty sure he'll be leaving again soon, though."

"Really? Why?" Dani sipped some more wine and watched Alicia's smile falter as the lawyer shrugged again.

"No reason for him to stay. I mean, I'm pretty sure that Peretti's assistant shooting him means that his work on the campaign is over, so..." Alicia gulped some wine.

"Well, I don't know about that. Maybe if you tell him that you love him..." Dani frowned when Alicia shook her head, vehemently.

"I don't love him. We're just... I don't know what we are anymore. But I don't love him." Alicia set the glass down to cross her arms, hugging herself. "I mean, do I have feelings for him? Sure. But I... I can't love him. I just can't." She clenched her eyes shut, but not in time to keep a couple of tears from escaping.

"Of course you can. He seems like a decent guy," Dani said as she slid off her stool and walked around the kitchen island to put her hand on Alicia's back, rubbing gently. She felt the other woman tense up as a sob broke free. Felt the shoulders start to shake as more followed. Then Alicia put her arms on the kitchen island, her head dropping on top of them as she cried. Dani kept rubbing her back, murmuring comforting phrases like she would have done with her daughter.

Minutes later, Alicia shuddered out a breath and drew in another. "Sorry," she mumbled, looking up and dragging her hands down her face.

"Hey, don't worry about it. You can't always be strong, you know." As she said it, Dani inwardly cringed at her own hypocrisy. Hadn't she just been scolding herself for not being as strong as she wanted to be? She pushed the thought out of her mind. She could figure that out later. Right now, Alicia needed her support. "Do you really think he wouldn't stay for you?"

"I don't know. Maybe. But... He almost died today, Dani. I almost lost him. And I..." Alicia clutched her wineglass, brought it to her lips for another gulp. When her eyes met Dani's again, there was sad resignation in them. And guilt. "I can't go through that. I won't. Not again."

Dani blinked. "Again? But your ex isn't dead."

"Yes, he is. Not Peter," Alicia added when she saw Dani's brow furrow. "Will." The name came out on a sad sigh.

"Will?" Dani kept her voice gentle.

"He was my boss. Bad idea, but we couldn't help ourselves, I guess. So we had an affair. And then we... I ended it. It hurt. Both of us. And I couldn't deal with that, couldn't be around him, so I left the firm. He was so mad that day..." Alicia's voice trailed away as she stared into space, remembering. "He was right. I shouldn't have left."

"Sounds to me like that was exactly what you needed to do. If you had stayed..."

"If I had stayed, I would have gone to court that day." Alicia cut her off in a flat voice. "Jeffrey Grant was my client, so I should have been there. But I left, and Will took over the case."

"He got killed in court?"

Alicia nodded. "Grant, he... He lost it. Managed to grab a deputy's gun. Started shooting. Wounded some people. Killed Will." She hid her face in her hands. "I might as well have..."

"Pulled the trigger yourself," Dani murmured, when Alicia's voice faltered. She put her arm around the other woman's shoulders. "I know how you feel. I'm not just saying that," she added when Alicia looked like she was going to protest. "I've felt the same way."

"Who?"

"A couple of years ago, Nico and I worked at a sports management agency. They had an accountant, Carl." Dani closed her eyes on a quiet exhale. Carl's anguished face still haunted her dreams every now and then. "Carl confessed to me that he was stealing money from the agency. I tried to get him to come clean with the FBI, I even set up an appointment for Carl with one of Nico's contacts in the Bureau."

"What happened?"

"Carl decided to jump off a building instead. At least, that's what it looked like. Turned out later that he... had help. Someone found out about his appointment with the FBI and didn't want the agency's dirty laundry aired." Dani opened her eyes. "I didn't do the actual pushing, but I pushed him nonetheless."

Alicia frowned. "Sounds to me you were trying to do the right thing."

"And you weren't?" Dani watched Alicia shrug and look away. "Why did you end things with Will?"

"I was married. It would have been another huge scandal, and I couldn't do that to my kids."

"That must have been hard. Choosing between your kids and the man you loved."

"It was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I think I've loved Will ever since we first met at Georgetown." Alicia drew back. She made a visible effort to compose herself. "But I never had the guts to tell him, I just admired him from afar. Then we graduated and I made myself forget about Will. A year later, I met Peter. I was so impressed with him. And he was... Interested. A perfect gentleman, too. He seemed like a dream come true at the time. So I married him. Had two kids with him." Her chuckle was mirthless. "And then I woke up from the dream, of course, and found out that he was nothing but a stealing, lying, cheating..."

"Pig," Dani helpfully supplied when Alicia seemed to be grasping for the right word.

A wry grin lifted the corners of Alicia's mouth. "Yeah. But by then, it was too late. Peter went to jail and I went back to work. And got a second chance with Will." She shook her head. "And I screwed up again. He told me he loved me once, but I never..." She shrugged and heaved a big sigh. "I never told him. And then it was too late."

Dani climbed up on her own stool again and sipped her wine, considering her next words. "You know... it's not too late to tell John how you feel."

"Right." Alicia rolled her eyes and drained her glass. "So what would I tell him? I mean, I don't even know what I feel anymore. Just that it's... different. He's different. I mean... I don't know what I mean."

"He's not Will. And I didn't know you back then, but I doubt that you are still the same woman you used to be. Everybody changes. So why wouldn't your feelings for John be different too? Maybe it's love, maybe it's not. But you'll never find out if you don't give him a chance." Dani reached across the island, putting her hand on Alicia's. "You don't have to admire him from afar, Alicia. He's right here."

Alicia's eyes shuttered and she withdrew her hand. "It's late. Or early, actually. We should probably call it a night." She slid off her stool and hesitated. "Thanks, Dani. I'll think about what you said."

"Sure." Dani let a soft smile turn her mouth up. "Just try not to think about it for too long." Alicia left the kitchen and Dani drank the last of her wine as she glanced out the window. The eastern sky wasn't as dark as it had been when she had woken in Nico's arms just after midnight, but dawn was still at least an hour away. Maybe she should follow Alicia's example and try to get some more sleep herself. But not before she cleaned up the kitchen.

She started loading the dishwasher, still thinking about Will and Carl and Frank Hammond. Three men whose lives had ended in the blink of an eye. They hadn't had a single warning, they hadn't seen it coming. Well, maybe Carl had, in a way. But even he hadn't left his house that morning expecting to get killed before the end of the day. He'd thought he would be safe once the FBI was involved. That they'd protect him, like she'd told him they would. He had thought he'd have time to make things right.

Dani's hands stilled and she stared at the bowl she had been about to place in the dishwasher without really seeing it. Instead she saw Hammond again, the look in his eyes as he'd stumbled forward when the bullet hit him. _That could have been me. I could have died. And Nico would have never known..._

Slowly, she put the bowl in the dishwasher and took off the apron she was still wearing. Then she turned and left the kitchen, suddenly no longer concerned about cleaning. She needed to talk to Nico. She needed to make things right while there was still time.


	19. Chapter 19

Nico had been awake most of the time Dani was gone, listening intently. First to the sounds of her cooking spree, then to the quiet sounds of clinking glasses and hushed conversation, punctuated by the occasional outburst of hushed laughter. He'd gone downstairs twice, not making a sound, just to check and make sure she was okay.

Now, as dawn approached, he lay on his back and looked at her as she quietly entered the bedroom and closed the door. She approached the bed, cautiously, obviously trying not to wake him. "Hey," he whispered, startling her. "You okay?"

"I think so," she whispered back, shedding her pants before sliding under the covers, but leaving the oversized shirt she'd put on after their lovemaking. She flicked on the lamp on the nightstand, drew up her knees and put her arms around them. Then she looked at him, biting her lip.

"What is it?" Nico asked, sitting up so he could put an arm around her shoulders and pull her against him.

She released her lip. Drew a deep breath. Looked up at him with honest eyes. "I love you. And I trust you completely, Nico. I know you'd never cheat on me. I was wrong to compare you to Ray and I know that hurt you. I'm sorry about that."

He acknowledged her apology with a nod and pulled her tighter against him. "Why did you? Compare me to Ray?"

Dani rested her head on his shoulder, avoiding his eyes. "The day I kicked Ray out wasn't the first time he cheated. It was just the first time he did it in my bed. I'd known about the affairs for years. The first time he came home smelling like a perfume shop was when Lindsay and Ray Jay were still in kindergarten. I should have kicked him out right then."

"Why didn't you?"

"I had two little kids and no income of my own." Dani rolled her eyes with a self-depricating smile. "And I wasn't about to pack up and crawl back home either. You know, since the whole point of marrying Ray straight out of high school was to finally have a life of my own." Her chuckle sounded sad. "I really thought I was building a life for myself with Ray. That's how low my standards were back then." She shook her head. "I know better now. Because after I kicked him out, I really built a life of my own. On my own. Or so I thought. But the thing is... I didn't. Matt did."

Nico's jaw clenched at the mention of the former trainer of the New York Hawks. He supposed he should thank Matt Donnally for bedding Dani and then getting her a job as the team therapist, but even now it still grated that for two whole years after that, Donnally had been her on-and-off boyfriend while he himself had gritted his teeth and watched from the sidelines while pretending not to care.

"It all grew from there," Dani's soft voice continued, drawing his mind back to the present. She was staring straight ahead. "Everything I have now."

"That's not true," Nico said.

"Yes, Nico. It is. If Matt hadn't gotten me that job, who knows where I'd be now? Probably still stuck hypnotizing overweight housewives, scraping together just enough money to pay my mortgage every month." She sat up straighter, pulling away from him. "And I can't go back to being that person." She swallowed hard and dropped her head to stare at her hands while she clasped them tight together. "I promised myself I wouldn't let myself go back to depending on a man ever again. I can't, I won't break that promise. Not even for you."

"Then don't."

"But that's just the thing... I'm afraid I already have."

Nico frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm supposed to be this strong, independent woman, but..."

"You are. Dani..." He cupped her cheek, turned her head to face him. "You're the strongest woman I've ever met."

"Then why don't you trust me to take care of myself?" There was no accusation in her voice, just sad resignation.

He blinked. Where did she get that idea? "I do."

"No, Nico. You don't." Her gaze was soft, but steady. "You keep secrets whenever you think I'm too... fragile to handle them."

"Because I love you and want to keep you safe."

"I know, and I love you too. But Nico..." She covered his hand with hers. "By keeping things from me, you leave me no choice but to rely on you – to _depend_ on you – to protect or save me."

Nico gave her an incredulous look. "You want me to stop protecting you?"

"No. I want you to trust me with the information I need to protect _myself_ whenever you are not around."

He opened his mouth but for a moment no words came out because the image of her bloody hair slammed back into his mind. She was right. He hadn't been around to protect her from almost getting shot. "I'm sorry I wasn't there yesterday," he blurted. "I thought you were safe in Hammond's office and I..."

"Hush," she said, putting her finger on his mouth. "You didn't know there was a madman with a gun out there. Did you?" When he shook his head, she gave him a small smile. Lifted her finger away. "If you had known, you would have stopped me from going outside. Right?"

"Damn right."

"But would you have told me _why_ I couldn't go outside?"

Yes. He opened his mouth to tell her that. But he'd promised her he'd never lie to her. "Probably not," he muttered. "But that's just because..."

"...Because you wouldn't have wanted me to worry. I understand. And you're right, I would have worried. I would have been scared. But I would have been worried and scared anyway, Nico. Even if you had kept it from me. Just like I was the other day, when you insisted on driving me to the Lakefront without telling me why. And the outcome would have been the same. Hammond would still have wanted to talk to me outside. I would have gone, because I wouldn't have had all the facts." She kept her eyes locked on his as she took his hands. "Nico, the only thing you accomplish by keeping things from me is that you take away my independence, my chance to judge situations for myself and make my own decisions on how to deal with them."

"I... I understand." He did. In fact, understanding had hit him like a ton of bricks as soon as she'd mentioned the Lakefront. His refusal to tell her about the attempt on Alicia's life the night before hadn't done a damn thing to keep her safe that morning. The bomb had exploded anyway. And he remembered lots of other times his efforts to keep her from worrying had had the exact opposite effect. The question was, could he change?

Dani searched his face and nodded. "I think you do. And I understand that keeping secrets has always been a big part of your life. Of who you are. I don't expect you to change overnight, you know."

"If I can change at all." He leaned in to brush his lips over hers. "But I promise you I'll give it my best shot."

She framed his face in her hands when he would have pulled back, deepening their kiss before letting him go. "That's all I ask, Nico."

"But Dani, you have to promise me something too." He took her hands, brought them to his lipsto kiss her knuckles. "Donnally just provided an opportunity. You, and you alone, were the one that grabbed it and made the most of it. You are a wonderful woman and an incredible therapist. I have no doubt that you would have done fine for yourself even if that particular opportunity hadn't come along. Promise me you will never sell yourself short again."

"I..." she bit her lip. "I'll give it my best shot."

"Okay." Nico tugged on her hands, pulling her against him and she came willingly. "I love you," he whispered, nuzzling her hair.

Dani relaxed against him. "I love you too." She was quiet for a couple of heartbeats. "Nico?"

"Yes?"

"About that ring you bought..." There was a slight tremble in her voice that made his heart stutter.

"What about it?" He felt his shoulders tense, his chest expand as he drew a deep breath and held it, waiting for her next words.

"Don't return it just yet."

Nico released a shuddering sigh and swallowed back the lump that suddenly blocked his throat. "I won't."

§§§

"So..." John managed a tight smile as he gingerly lowered himself onto a dining room chair. Five worried frowns were aimed at him from all around the table. While his ribs and head were still taking up most of the spotlight, his body ached all over from the tumble he'd taken down the embankment after Mike had shot him. "Anyone get the plates of the truck that hit me?"

"That's not funny, John," Alicia chided from the seat opposite his. "Did you..."

"Yes, mom, I took my painpills," he cut her off, then felt like an ass when he saw hurt flash in her eyes. The pain made him cranky, but that was no reason to just lash out at her like that. "Sorry. I'm alright, Alicia, really."

"Sure you are! You look just peachy, too," she said in a too-cheerful voice, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

Dani cleared her throat. "We were just about to exchange information so we can decide what to do next. John, I'm sure you're feeling okay now, but you do have three broken ribs and a concussion to boot, and that's nothing to sneeze at. You should have stayed in bed." Her hand flew up when he started to protest. "You need your rest so your body can heal and Alicia can stop worrying about you. So, why don't you go first? Alicia said Peretti's assistant shot you, but she hadn't gotten around to telling us why yet." She leaned back, resting her chin on one hand as she gave him an encouraging smile.

"I found evidence that Peretti is funding his campaign with money Vito Farese is paying him. Peretti didn't like me finding it." John balled his hands into fists and swallowed back the bile rising in his throat as he remembered the moment he'd looked up to find Peretti's gun aiming at him. "He pointed a gun at me, then clubbed me in the head with it. When I woke up, I was lying in the backseat of my own car. Mike Turner was behind the wheel."

"Peretti's assistant?" Nico cut in.

"Yeah. He pulled over and yanked me out of the car. Pulled a gun. I fought him, so he missed the first time." John couldn't keep from touching the bandage on his head where the first bullet had grazed him. "I stumbled backwards and he fired again. I remember falling down the embankment. Then I..." He what? He thought hard, but couldn't remember. "It's all fuzzy after that, but I think I fell into the river. I guess I managed to climb out again too, since that old man found me in the bushes."

"So you're sure it was Turner who shot you?" Nico asked.

"Yes."

"What does he look like?"

"Brown hair, dark eyes. Average..." John's eyes snapped to the Garrity brothers. "Do you read the _Chicago Tribune_?"

Steve shook his head. "No. Why?"

"Mike was at the debate with me and Peretti. Before we went inside, Peretti was interviewed by a reporter from the _Trib_. Photographer snapped the three of us together."

"I'll check their website." Nico already had his phone out. "This him?" He turned the phone towards John, who nodded. "I don't think it's the same guy then."

"What guy?"

"When Dani was talking to Hammond yesterday, one of Farris' teammates approached me. Greg Peters. He told me he'd seen Farris arguing with some guy on the day Amy was killed. Said he didn't know the guy. But the way he described him, it wasn't Turner."

"Maybe it was his drug dealer," Alicia said, but Dani shook her head.

"It wasn't," she said.

"How do you know?" Alicia asked.

"I don't think he has a dealer. Hammond told me that Ryan didn't take the drugs himself. I don't know who did, but the team doctor is somehow involved. Edward Foster."

"The guy who looks like Danny DeVito?" Nico said, and Dani nodded. "Then it wasn't Foster either. But I'll have Xeno do a background check on the good doctor."

"I'll ask Ryan if he remembers the argument," Dani said.

"I don't think he'll talk to you, Dani." Alicia sighed. "He's going to plead guilty."

Dani's eyes widened. "What? Why? Does he remember what happened?"

"That's what he said... He gave me a signed confession, stating that he was high on drugs and killed Amy because he caught her cheating on him when he got home early."

"And you believe him?"

Alicia sighed and shook her head. "No, I don't. Something's off about the confession and the letter. It's all just a little too... Smooth. But I can't stop him from pleading guilty, if that's what he wants."

Dani folded her arms, narrowed her eyes. "Well, he's got another thing coming if he thinks I will just sit back and let him go to jail. I'll go visit him as soon as we're done here." She held up her hand when Nico opened his mouth to say something. "I won't get shot inside a prison facility, Nico. I'll even wear a vest. And you will of course come with me."

Nico crossed his arms, a resigned look flashing across his face. But he shut his mouth and didn't object to her plan. Instead, he nodded once.

"Thanks, Dani," Alicia said, relief in her eyes. "I'll come too. And you," she turned to John, "Are going to stay here and call the police. Tell them about Peretti and Turner. Those two need to be arrested for attempted murder."

"No," Nico said. He looked at John. "Right now, they think you're dead – or Turner would have gone looking for you after you took that plunge. The cops go pick them up, they'll know you're alive."

Dani's eyebrows knit together. "So? They'll be in jail."

But John understood. "Peretti is a politician and he has money. It'll be my word against his, since I don't have the flash drive. He'll be out in no time." Alicia looked like she wanted to protest his words, but then seemed to think better of it.

Nico nodded. "And even if they keep him... If Farese is involved, he may send someone to finish the job."

"So before we go to the police we need proof against Perreti, Turner and Farese." Alicia summarized and Nico nodded. "Then we need the files on the flash drive."

John watched all eyes turn to him. "I don't have it. I was putting it back in Peretti's office when he caught me. But I did copy the files to my own PC."

"Can you access them via a remote connection?" Nico asked.

"If they're still on the campaign server, sure..." John sighed. "But they will find out I'm still alive if I try to log on to the network with my own user ID."

"I could try to get in through the back door," Steven suggested.

"You mean hacking? You know how to do that?" Alica asked, her eyes wide.

"Our firm does network security too, so it kind of comes with the job."

"But we wouldn't be able to use the files in a trial then. Or to get a warrant for their arrest. Evidence like that is fruit of the poisonous tree."

"We'll let the police worry about that once we get the files. Unless you have a better idea, Counsellor?" Nico asked.

Alicia considered the question, then shook her head.

"Try it," Nico told Steven.

Steven nodded and looked back at John. "You okay to sit behind a desk for a while? It would save time if you could help me navigate the network. But if you need to rest first..."

"No. No. That's okay," John said, earning himself narrowed eyes from both Alicia and Dani. He held up his hands before either of them could utter a protest. "I'll go back to bed as soon as we get the files. Promise."

"You can crash now, for as long as I need to get inside," Steven offered. "I don't know how long it will take me, but I think you will have at least fifteen minutes."

"Well, I guess that's better than nothing," Alicia muttered.

John would be lying if he said that he didn't need to lie down for a while, so he didn't. Instead he just got up, wincing when the movement sent sharp spears of pain through his ribs. "I'll take it," he said, and saw Alicia relax slightly. And since he was being honest to himself, he had to admit that he liked it that she seemed so worried about him. It increased his hope that they could become more than just friends with benefits after all.

He left the room with a smile in her direction and carefully made his way up the stairs, trying not to think about the phonecall he'd received two weeks ago. About the new job waiting for him in Washington.

§§§

Mike Turner was not a happy man. When Peretti had hired him a few years back, working as a Jack of all trades for the entertainment mogul had seemed like an exciting opportunity. Especially for a kid who hadn't even finished high school. But ever since his boss had bought the Cougars, the jobs Peretti had ordered him to do had gotten dirtier and dirtier, and Mike didn't like where things were going with Farese on board. He had never wanted to be a criminal – although he supposed he was one now.

A killer, no less. He had never been one to back away from getting his hands dirty whenever his boss needed some guy a little roughed up, but until yesterday he had never wasted anyone. He had decided he didn't like it. He shook his head hard, not wanting to remember the look in Elfman's eyes when Mike had pulled the trigger. Or the way the guy's body had tumbled down the embankment.

No, he hadn't liked the experience at all. The puddle of vomit he'd left all over the dashboard of the guy's car before abandoning it in one of the shadier parts of the city, keys still in the ignition and doors unlocked, was proof of that. He imagined the puddle had been a nasty surprise for whichever lucky punk had discovered the car.

Mike figured that puking up his guts was a sure sign he wasn't cut out to be a hitman. So he wasn't really looking to do a repeat performance. But then Peretti had told him to find and kill the Florrick woman. He'd considered to tell his boss to stick it, but he knew he couldn't.

The man had been good to him, paying for online classes so Mike could get his high school diploma. Then getting him enrolled in the evening MBA program at Kellogg after Mike had aced all his tests, finding out that he was much brighter than his foster parents or his teachers – or even Mike himself – had ever given him credit for before. So yeah, he owed his boss big time.

Which was why he now found himself sitting here, in the parking lot of the Metropolitan Correctional Center, waiting for the elusive Mrs. Florrick. He had no idea where she had run off to, but she was bound to show up here at some point, right? All he had to do was wait for her to come visit her client. Then when she left, he could follow her. Run her car off the road.

"Piece of cake," he muttered to the empty car interior. Then he shut up again, because he didn't like the way his voice trembled.

At least he hadn't had a bite to eat since dinner last night, so the risk of puking his guts up again was almost non-existent. Good thing, because he would need to check the wreck and make sure she was really dead, and if she wasn't... Well, he'd have to find a way to kill her without shooting her, so it would still look like an accident. But he'd cross that bridge when he needed to.

And after it was done? Mike planned to start working on his exit strategy. Because criminal or not, and indebted to Peretti or not, he sure as hell wasn't planning on becoming a career criminal. He had a promising future, and he needed to get the hell out of Peretti's organization before it went south completely. But he didn't harbor any illusion that his boss or Farese would let him leave just like that.

The only way he was gonna get out of there in one piece was if he had some kind of insurance policy. Leverage. And that meant he needed to start collecting whatever incriminating information he could find. He nodded to himself. He'd start by checking Elfman's computer. The guy had to have had something big on Peretti if it had been worth killing him over.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Bet you thought I had abandoned this fic, huh? Well, guess what - I'm back! I've been insanely busy, and I still am. But I work on this every chance I get. So the next update may again take a while, but it will come. I appreciate any and all helpful comments on my story, thanks for sticking with me!**

* * *

The white envelope on the table held only one piece of paper. It couldn't weigh more than a couple of grams. But it weighed heavier on Ryan's mind than the entire Cougars team combined would have weighed on his shoulders if he'd had to carry them all.

He was so tired of it all.

Doctor Santino and miss Florrick were sitting across the table from him, wearing identical looks of disbelief. He'd just told them again that he would not change his plea.

He was guilty. He didn't need his memory or the letter to tell him that.

Sure, he hadn't pulled the trigger. He knew that now, thanks to Vito's henchman threatening to suffocate him with a pillow if he didn't plead guilty. But Amy was still dead because of him. Of that, he was certain.

The faceless voices in his nightmares told him so every single night. They had intensified over the past couple of days. Amy's pleading voice was one of them. The others sounded familiar but their owners remained hidden in the fog in his head.

But their identities didn't matter. Pleading guilty was the right thing to do. He had no choice. The henchman had also made perfectly clear that if he didn't go through with this, Amy's family would once again pay the price for his actions. And he'd die before he let that happen.

"So, tell me about the woman outside the stadium you were arguing with that day," Doctor Santino said. "Who was she?"

"What woman?" The question was out before he could stop himself. Stupid. He'd just told them he remembered everything from that day. "Oh, wait. You mean that woman who's been stalking me forever just because she wants me to sign her..." His voice faltered when the doc tilted her head, narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. He sighed. "There was no woman, was there?"

"No. But Greg Peters did see you arguing with a man he'd never seen before. Wanna tell me what that was about?"

Ryan opened his mouth, his brain grasping for something to say, anything that would explain away a fight he didn't remember. Before words could come, the image of a familiar face burst into his mind. "Sal," he gasped, realizing that he now knew at least one of the voices in his nightmares.

Doctor Santino and miss Florrick exchanged a look. "Sal?" the therapist repeated.

Ryan hesitated. But since he couldn't unsay the name, he gave them the barest essentials about the guy instead. "He works for my uncle. Other than that, I don't know him." That was a lie, but not a big one. He hadn't seen or spoken to his old friend in years and both of them had changed since then. So they might as well be strangers to one another now.

"Then why were you arguing with him?" Miss Florrick asked.

 _Play along or Amy dies. Is that what you want?_

It was as if Sal's voice unlocked an overstuffed closet in Ryan's head. But instead of clothes and other junk an avalanche of memories burst through the doors. Unable to shield himself he threw up his uninjured arm anyway, stumbling to his feet at the same time. Through the thundering in his ears he heard the distant clatter of his chair hitting the wall. Someone called his name, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he needed to get away before the truth could crush him.

§§§

John ignored the steady throbbing of his injuries and looked at the computer screen, where some piece of software was rapidly going through a seemingly infinite amount of characters and symbols. He'd expected hacking into a server a little more exciting, but according to Steve this was about as thrilling as it got. Only one last character for the software to add to the string of letters and numbers in the box at the bottom of the screen and they would be inside the campaign server.

Just as John was about to ask if the last character was somehow harder than the rest, the screen they'd been looking at vanished. In its place came an ominous looking black screen. A cursor blinked in the upper left corner. John frowned. This didn't look anything like the desktop of the computer he'd used while on the campaign. Had the hacking worked? Steve pumped a fist in the air and looked at him with a big grin, so apparently it had.

"Okay. So what I did, was hack into the part of the server where they keep all the backups. Now all we need..." The security expert hit a few keys and pushed his chair slightly away from the desk. "Is the time you copied that flash drive. You happen to remember?"

The black screen was now filled with a list of dates and times. "A little after eight AM."

Steve scrolled through the list. "Bingo." He selected a folder and hit enter. "Okay, let's see if we can find your home folder... There it is. What's your password?"

John felt his cheeks heat and dropped his gaze from Steve's as he cleared his throat. Thinking that it was a good thing she wasn't here, he gave the security expert Alicia's name and date of birth. Then listened to the tapping of the keys as Steve entered the password.

"Oh, shit. Someone there knows what they're doing after all."

His embarrassment forgotten, John looked up at the alarmed tone of Steve's voice. The screen was completely black again, there wasn't even a cursor this time. "What? What's wrong?"

Then the screen came to life, going back to the window with the hacking software. Steve pounded the surface of the desk with his fist. "Did you install an app called Bouncer on your office computer?"

John shook his head. By the look on the other man's face he could tell they weren't talking about some computer game. "You mean like a bouncer at a night club?"

"Exactly. And the bouncer just threw us out. It more than likely sent an alert to whoever installed it too. Dammit! I knew it was too easy!" Another pound with his fist, then silence descended as they both looked at the screen some more.

"So... What now?" John asked.

"Now we're screwed. I mean..." Steve released a sigh and raked a hand over his hair. "I can try to bypass the bouncer, but it will take a long time. Plus, they already know we're trying to get in, so they'll probably move the files somewhere else or delete them... If they were even still there to begin with. I actually don't think they were. This was a trap."

"So we'll need the flash drive after all."

"I'll try to get in again, but... Looks like it, yeah. Sorry."

"That's okay." John sighed, sending a spear of pain through his ribs that told him he'd been sitting in this damn chair too long already. Time to go lie down again. Maybe take a nap. But even before he got up he knew there would be no chance of sleeping. Not in the middle of the day, and not before he'd figured out a way to get that flash drive.

§§§

Making a conscious effort to loosen her shoulders, Alicia looked through the window into the visitation room, where Dani was still talking to Ryan. The pitcher's hair and prison jumpsuit looked like he'd been caught in a bad storm and his body was still radiating tension, but at least he was sitting in his chair again. The guard had stormed in immediately after Ryan had jumped up, sending his chair crashing into the wall, but it was Dani who had succeeded in talking him down from whatever it was that had aggrevated him in the first place. Alicia, no stranger to agressive behavior from clients herself, still wasn't sure how the therapist had managed that without raising her voice even once. The guard hadn't needed to intervene. Then Dani had ushered both Alicia and the guard outside so she and Ryan could talk privately.

The guard was now standing right by the door, his hand on the handle, ready to barge back in at the first sign of trouble. Nico and Jason were flanking him, looking just as intent on being first through the door if anything happened in there.

Alicia's phone buzzed in her pocket and she took it out without taking her eyes away from the two people inside. "Hello?"

"Miss Florrick, it's Stacey. What time will you be in today?"

Alicia frowned. "I told you I wasn't sure I would come in." She turned away from the window so she could focus on the conversation. "Why? What's going on?" Stacey's voice sounded chipper as always on the surface, but there was an undercurrent of urgency.

"There are people here to see you. They say they have important information about the Farris case."

"Really? Who are they?"

"Mr and Mrs Richardson."

Alicia let out a gasp. "Richardson? As in Amy Richardson's parents?" What could Amy's parents possibly want to discuss with her, the lawyer of the man they thought killed their daughter?

"Yes."

"And they're alone? No lawyers with them?"

Stacey lowered her voice. "No, it's just them. I put them in the waiting area with a glass of water, because Mrs Richardson looked ready to collapse. What should I tell them?"

"Tell them..." Alicia turned around when she heard a door open. Dani came out, and she looked shaken. Nico drew her into his arms immediately. "Tell them to wait if they can. I'll be there as soon as I can, but it could be a while. I'm in the middle of something right now. Call me back if they decide to leave." She ended the call without waiting for Stacey's reply and focused completely on Dani, who was gently pushing away from Nico while assuring him that she was really okay. "What happened in there? What did he say?"

"Ryan's memory came back. For real this time. But he refuses to tell me who killed Amy. The only useful thing I was able to get out of him was that it wasn't Edward Foster who drugged him after all." Dani let out a sigh. "It was Amy."

"Amy?" Alicia and Jason echoed in unison. Nico merely raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Ryan found out that morning. That's what they were fighting about before he left for team practice. Apparently she'd been drugging him on a regular basis for at least a year."

"But... Why would she do that?" Alicia asked.

"I have no idea. Ryan has clammed up again, and in the mental state he's in right now I'm afraid to push him too hard." For the first time since Alicia had known her, the therapist sounded truly discouraged. "I really don't think I can get anything more out of him. Not before his trial is over and done with, anyway. I'm sorry, Alicia."

"What? No, please don't be. You've already done more than I could ever have asked of you." And not just on the case or for Ryan either, Alicia thought as she remembered last night. Anyone who could get her to sleep like a baby after reliving Will's death and crying her eyes out over it was worth far more than their weight in gold as far as she was concerned. "Besides, maybe there's another way to find out what really happened that night. I just got an interesting call." She relayed the information Stacey had just given her. "I could use someone who is good at dealing with emotional people to keep me from screwing up when I go talk to them."

Dani's nod showed relief. "I'm glad to help in any way I can."

"You need to go talk to them now?" Nico asked. He didn't sound too happy about it.

"Yes. This may be the only chance we get without their lawyer or the DA being there."

"We're wearing vests, remember?" Dani said as she gave Nico a gentle nudge with her shoulder. She smiled at him, then at Jason. "And we've got both of you with us to keep us safe."

He sighed and shook his head. "Fine. But keep your head down at all times." He glanced at Alicia. "You too. We still have a gunman on the loose."

Dani's smile went out like a light as shadows chased the twinkle from her eyes. She gave him a grave nod. "I'll give the average ostrich a run for their money when it comes to keeping my head down." The slight tremble in her voice belied the lighthearted comment. Nico wordlessly put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his side. She leaned her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes. She seemed to draw strength from him, because when her eyes opened again, the shadows had receded.

As Alicia watched them together, she suddenly wished she had someone in her life she could draw strength from. And for the first time in what seemed like forever, the first face that flashed in her mind wasn't Will's.

§§§

Nico cast a furtive glance at the sedan visible in the rearview mirror as he pulled into the street where Alicia's office building was. The blue Ford looked innocuous enough, it didn't even have tinted windows, but it had been following them ever since they'd left the Correctional Center. And sure enough, the Ford followed. It didn't slow down at the office parking lot, but Nico wasn't fooled.

Whoever was behind the wheel of that car was there for them.

Nico stopped the car right outside the entrance to the office building and turned around in his seat. He opened his mouth to instruct Dani and Alicia on exiting the car and entering the building as quickly as possible, but Dani held up her hand in the Boy Scout salute before he could utter the first word.

"We swear to keep our head down, move quickly, and stay out of sight from whoever is in that car that's been following us. Alicia, you better get out on my side." Nico tried to hide his surprise when she mentioned the car, but apparently he failed, because she threw him a lopsided grin. "You do remember I'm a mother, right? You know, the kind of woman that needs eyes in the back of the head?"

"I'm glad you think this is funny." But he knew she didn't. Her eyes told him that she was merely putting on a brave face, and he loved her even more for her ability to do so not twenty-four hours after her experience in that other parking lot. "You'll be fine," he said in his most reassuring voice, and she nodded once.

Jason had gotten out on the passenger side and was now opening Dani's door. As the women climbed out, he kept his own body between them and the parking lot and guided them inside the building. When the door closed behind them, Nico let out the breath he'd been holding. He turned the car around and drove into an empty space. Getting out quickly he crouched by the side of the car and waited.

Not a minute later the blue Ford turned onto the lot and parked, nose pointed towards the street. The driver slid down until the tip of his head was only barely visible, and only if you were looking for it.

Nico ran up to the car and yanked the door open. In one fluid movement, he put his hand on the guy's collar, hauled him out of his seat and slammed him down on the pavement backwards before straddling the man and effectively pinning his arms to his sides. He grabbed handfuls of jacket and pulled the guy's face near his own. "Your choice," he growled. "I can beat you to a pulp now or we can talk like civilized people before I hand you over to the cops."

He felt almost disappointed when Mike Turner went for the second option without thinking twice.

§§§

 _What the fuck was Peretti's guy doing here?_

He watched from a safe distance as the gorilla in black hauled Turner to his feet and escorted him to the entrance of the office building. Where Amy's parents waited. He knew, because he'd seen them go inside about an hour ago. He'd been waiting for the lawyer, wanting to know how close she was to finding out the truth about Amy. Looked like she was closer than he'd thought. Why else would both Amy's folks and Turner be there?

He was running out of time. If he wanted to complete his list, he needed to take action now. Before everything came out.

He reached for his gun, cradled it against his chest. Considered just getting out of his car and walking into the building. Shoot the place up, finish off the lawyer and the pretty therapist. Save the last bullet for himself and be done with it. But he knew that would be stupid. The building had security staff and the lawyer and the therapist had two bodyguards with them. He may have time to fire one round, tops, before they would take him down. And if that happened, his real targets would get away.

Tossing the gun back on the passenger seat, he put the car into gear. Time to go visit dear old dad.


	21. Chapter 21

Vince Peretti felt sweat break out on his forehead as he stared at the incoming text message from his nephew. The kid had wiped Johnny's computer clean of all files and then installed some kind of security app on the campaign computer system. Apparently the software had done its job. There was a lot of computer speak in the text, but that much was clear. Someone had tried to break into the part of the system where the backup files were stored. That meant Johnny had told someone about the flash drive. His lawyer girlfriend, most likely.

But what if it was someone else? After all, as far as Vince knew, Alicia Florrick didn't possess any hacking skills. What if she, in turn, had told someone else, someone who did know how to hack? That the incriminating files weren't there anymore didn't really matter. If reporters got wind of this, they would happily assume that there was fire to go with the smoke they'd sniffed and go on the hunt for insider information. It wouldn't be long before someone would start blabbing. And if that person was the wrong someone... Hammond was dead, sure, but what if Doc Foster decided he'd had enough?

Everything would come out.

His political career would be over before it had even started. And, best case scenario, the Peretti Entertainment Group would take a big hit on the stock market. All because of Vito and his damn operation. He never should have gone along with it in the first place.

 _Wait. Does Vito know about that flashdrive?_

He sat up straighter as that thought hit him out of nowhere. What if this hack was somehow Vito's doing? What if Farese had decided this whole thing was getting too risky and was now trying to cover his tracks and let his old pal Vince take the fall for everything? He wouldn't... Would he?

 _No. How could he know about the flashdrive? I told no one._

Vince tried to tell himself he was being paranoid, but somehow he couldn't convince himself. Which was weird, because he was usually very good at convincing himself and other people of his opinion.

Then he thought of Mike. His trustworthy assistant. So trustworthy, in fact, that Vince hadn't bothered to close the spreadsheets on the flashdrive whenever the kid had come into his office late at night while Vince was doing his shadow accounting. And Mike was taking MBA classes at Kellogg, so the files wouldn't be too hard for him to decipher, right?

Was there a connection between Mike and Vito that Vince didn't know of? Vince thought hard and realized there might be. _O'Malley_. The owner of one of the biggest construction companies in Chicago. Vince had made smalltalk with O'Malley at several local business events over the years, but didn't really know him well. Still, he hadn't thought much of it when O'Malley had told him about an employee of his, whose foster kid had just dropped out of high school and was now looking for a job, and could Vince maybe help out? Sure. It was how business worked, wasn't it? Business owners helped each other out. So Vince had hired the kid – Mike.

Had that been a mistake?

The Farese family had a big finger in the pie in the Chicago based construction industry... Who was to say that O'Malley's company wasn't involved with them as well? Could Mike have been spying on Vince for Vito all along?

Had the kid realized what Vince was doing and warned Vito about the flashdrive?

Vince jumped up and started pacing, questions and suspicions running rampant in his mind. He cursed and grabbed his phone, but expelled a giggle as he stared at it. Who was he gonna call about this? O'Malley? Vito? Mike? No. They wouldn't tell him the truth – and if he called either one of them they'd know he was onto them.

He needed someone close to Vito who wouldn't have any qualms about selling out the boss for the right amount of money...

Vince stopped pacing, a grim smile turning the corners of his mouth up as he remembered a golden nugget of information Vito himself had let slip during an emergency meeting right after Ryan Farris had gotten himself arrested for killing his wife...

 _The wuss was bawling his eyes out. Said he was in love with her, can you believe that?_

He took a deep breath as he relaxed his shoulders and prayed he had the contact info for Vito's kid in his database.

§§§

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long," Alicia told the Richardsons when they'd all taken a seat around the conference table. The couple looked harrowed, lines and shadows painting their faces with the same grief Alicia remembered seeing in the mirror in the weeks following Will's death. But she couldn't think about that now. "I was with a client." The Richardsons nodded, but didn't say anything, and Alicia was starting to feel awkward. "So... Um, my assistant told me you had some information on..."

"Our son, Sean. He's in jail." Mrs Richardson said in a voice laced with tears. She dropped her gaze to her hands that were picking apart a tissue on the tabletop. "They say he... killed someone but he didn't. He couldn't have. I know my son and he would never harm anyone and..." She started sobbing and turned to her husband, who put his arm around her shaking shoulders.

Alicia held back a frustrated sigh at her own gullibility. Of course they were not here to tell her anything to help her with Ryan's defense. Why would they? They thought Ryan had killed their daughter...

"We visited Sean this morning. He told us he fired his lawyer and asked us to talk to you," Richardson said when his wife had calmed down a bit.

"About what?" Alicia asked, though she thought she knew where this was going. His next words confirmed it.

"About how he needs a new lawyer and how you're the best one in town."

"Mr. Richardson... You realize I can't represent your son in court, don't you? That would be a huge conflict of interest for me."

"I told him so. And it's not like I want _you_ defending him anyway..." He shot her a look of contempt, at which she tried to take no offense. "But he won't listen to us. So... Here we are." He took a deep breath. His next words came out sounding forced. "We'll pay you double your usual rate if you just drop the bastard that killed my daughter as a client and defend my son instead."

"But..." Alicia sputtered, momentarily stunned at the absurdity of the situation. Even if she had been willing to stop defending Ryan... Did they really think she could or would defend the man that had tried to crash her car and run her over? She glanced at Dani, who looked just as perplexed as she felt. "I...I can't do that."

"See? I told you she'd want more money," Richardson told his wife, just loud enough to overhear.

"Mr Richardson, I realize this is a hard time for you, but this is not about money," Alicia snapped, unable to keep her frustration at bay any longer. This case was just such a mess, and every time she thought she was making progress she just hit another brick wall. And here they were, wasting precious time again... She ignored Dani's warning hand on her arm as she continued, "This is about your son trying to crash his car into mine. Not to mention him trying to run me over."

A thick silence fell over the room, Alicia's words hanging heavily in the air. Mrs Richardson's eyes widened and her lips trembled. Mr Richardson muttered a curse and pinched the bridge of his nose in a tired gesture.

Dani withdrew her hand from Alicia's arm and leaned forward. "You didn't know about that?" She asked in a soft voice, addressing Mrs Richardson.

The older woman shook her head. "We just flew in from California this morning. We needed some time away from... all of it. And then we got the call that Sean was arrested. They said something about Sean trying to kill someone else, but..."

"They never mentioned Miss Florrick by name," Mr Richardson finished. He sighed heavily, then muttered, "What a damned mess..."

"It's a lot to deal with. I'm sorry you have to go through this," Dani said, radiating compassion and sympathy at the couple while Alicia sat there feeling like a jerk for snapping at them. An unprofessional jerk at that.

"I just keep..." Tears started trickling down Mrs Richardson's face again and she dabbed at them with a tissue she dug up from her purse. "I keep waiting for someone to wake me up," she told Dani in a thick voice. "But then I remember it isn't a dream and that Sean's really in jail. And – and Amy's really..." She drew a deep breath. "I wish she'd never slept with that Italian guy."

Alicia sat up straighter and glanced at Dani, who gave a barely perceptible nod but kept looking at Amy's parents.

"Sally... We don't even know if that's true," Mr Richardson said. "And even if she was sleeping with someone else... Farris had it coming. The way he treated her..." He shook his head, suddenly seemed to become aware of his surroundings again. "Anyway. Let's go look for another lawyer." He looked at Alicia. "See you in court, I guess."

"If you walk with me to my office I'll give you the names and numbers of some good lawyers," Alicia said. Richardson hesitated, then nodded and followed her out of the conference room.

"Mrs Richardson, why don't you stay with me while your husband gets that info? I'm a therapist and a good listener, if you want to talk some more," Alicia heard Dani say.

§§§

Baring his teeth in a cold smile, he tossed the phone on the passenger seat. Looked like dear old dad would have to wait. Peretti's office was closer, and this was too good an opportunity to miss. The man himself had summoned him. Not to his office of course, but to a nearby park where the descending evening would provide them with dark shadows to hide them from prying eyes. Because the gubernatorial candidate couldn't risk being seen with the likes of him, no doubt.

Little did Peretti know that he'd lied about his whereabouts. He'd told the candidate he was at least an hour away from the park when in fact he was about ten minutes away from Peretti's office building. He made a highly illegal U-turn and set course for his new destination, idly wondering what Peretti could possibly want to discuss with him. And how the guy had gotten his number. He supposed he could ask him when they met, but he knew he wouldn't get any answers.

By the time the candidate saw him, the man would be too busy dying to tell anyone anything at all.

§§§

Nico read the text message he'd just received from Steve Garrity and inwardly cursed, careful to keep his expression blank. What the _hell_ was Elfman thinking? He pocketed his phone and crossed his arms, sending Mike Turner his most threatening scowl.

Since Alicia and Dani had the only conference room on this floor in use, Nico had shoved Peretti's flunky into the small kitchen next to the elevator. The cramped space gave Nico the advantage of being able to intimidate Turner by towering over him while asking questions in a menacing voice. It hadn't taken much to make the scumbag spill everything. Nico had taken his phone out to call the cops, but had received the text message instead.

"On your feet," he orderd Turner. "We're going for a ride." Turner swallowed, his eyes darting back and forth from Nico to the door. Then he shook his head. Nico sighed and grabbed him by the collar, hauled him off the chair and unceremoniously dragged him out into the hallway where Dani, Alicia and Jason were already waiting, the women deep in hushed conversation. "Garrity, you got a text too?"

"Yeah. Want me to go after them?"

"No. Take Dani and Alicia back to the house and wait for us there. Take Turner's car, it's the blue Ford." Nico dragged Turner, who was now begging and pleading for his life, towards the elevator bank. He'd almost made it there when Dani cleared her throat, right behind him. He held back another sigh and turned to find her standing there with her hands on her hips, smiling sweetly.

"Where, exactly, are you going?" She asked.

He considered not telling her, just to keep her from worrying, but decided against it when he saw her eyes narrow. "To get that flashdrive." Turner stopped his pleading and fell silent.

Dani studied Nico another ten seconds, then nodded, a small smile lifting the corners of her mouth. "Thank you for trusting me. I'll trust you to be careful and come back to me in one piece," she said.

"I will," he assured her. Behind him, the elevator dinged. "That's my cue," he said. When he turned and started dragging Turner the rest of the way to the elevator, he was surprised to feel the scumbag cooperating instead of fighting him.

"You want Peretti's flashdrive? I can help you get it. You won't get inside without a security pass, and I've got one," Turner blurted as soon as they were in the elevator with the doors closed. "But I-I want something in return."

Nico tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

Turner drew a deep breath. "Don't call the cops on me."

Nico pretended to consider it, then slowly nodded. "Okay. You get me inside and I won't call the cops," he agreed. He intended to keep that promise. After all, what was the use of calling the cops if he could just as easily drive by the station on his way back to the safe house and and deliver the scumbag? That would actually work better, since he didn't have time to go to the police station first. Elfman had gotten it into his head that he was responsible for getting that flashdrive. Nico hadn't thought much of the guy when they'd first met, but the campaign manager was apparently tougher than he seemed. He'd managed to sneak out of the house and was on his way to Peretti's office now, cracked ribs and all. Steve Garrity was in pursuit, but Nico planned on getting there first.

§§§

 _Were they following him?_

Probably not, but talk about coincidence...

He watched from the shadows as Turner and the gorilla in black entered Peretti's office building. Raised his gun, lowered it again before he had taken aim. As much as he wanted to kill anyone delaying Peretti's exit from the building, taking out the gorilla now would be stupid. And not just because two dead bodies in the hallway would alert Peretti that something was up.

He'd been prepared to let the lawyer and the therapist off the hook this afternoon, but he had changed his mind. They were helping Farris escape justice. He couldn't let them do that. Especially since there was no way to get to Farris himself.

The gorilla's presence here may not be mere coincidence after all. It may be destiny. After all, if anyone could help him get to the lawyer and the therapist, it was this guy.

He put his free hand in his jacket pocket, feeling around until his fingers touched a smooth surface. Taking out the iPod-like device he'd used for his eavesdropping back at the courthouse, he smiled. Handy little thing. The man who sold it to him had told him that not only was it a listening device, it sent out a GPS signal as well.

He looked up at the office building. Checked his watch. He only had a few minutes left before Peretti was due to come outside. Tight, but doable if he hurried.

Putting his gun into his pocket, he jogged to his car which was parked along the curb just outside the parking lot so he could make a quick getaway. He retrieved his magnetic car key holder from under the rear bumper. It was an extra large model, so with a bit of luck... "Yes," he whispered triumphantly as the not-an-iPod fell into the box like it was made for exactly that.

Turner and the gorilla had arrived in a black sedan now parked right outside the office building and he hurried over there, crouched at the rear bumper and attached the magnetic box. Then he quickly made his way back to his earlier position across the parking lot. He took out his gun, aimed at the door and waited for Peretti to come out.


	22. Chapter 22

Ever since Turner had waved his security card in front of the scanner outside the building's entrance, Nico had been tense. Outside, he'd felt like they were being watched. Now, in the elevator, the tension ratcheted up a notch as Turner kept fidgeting and throwing nervous looks at the rapidly changing digits in the display above the doors. Had the scumbag somehow managed to alert Peretti they were coming? Nico hadn't let him out of his sight, but...

Before he could finish the thought, the elevator reached their destination floor. The doors opened to reveal Vince Peretti standing there. Nico immediately noticed the sheen of transpiration on the candidate's face, the way his silvery hair stood up in spikes like he'd repeatedly raked his hands through it, his slightly wild eyes.

"Well, hello Mike. Who's your friend?" Peretti asked, his eyes darting between the two of them. Then he dropped the jacket that had been hanging over his arm and raised the gun he'd been hiding underneath. His knuckles were white, and the gun trembled slightly in his grip. "Hands where I can see them. Good. Great. Now get out of the damn elevator."

"He's here for the flashdrive," Turner squeaked as he complied. "He forced me to..."

"Shut up, traitor," Peretti said, but his free hand wandered to the pocket of his pants. "Out," he ordered Nico, taking the gun in both hands and steadying it.

Nico leisurely stepped out of the elevator, keeping his hands where Peretti could see them. No use in agitating a man who already seemed on the edge even further, especially when said man was pointing a gun at you.

Looking back later, he wished he hadn't been so careful.

As soon as Nico was out of the elevator, Peretti ducked inside. Nico lunged, trying to stop him but was propelled backwards as a spear of pain burned his upper arm. As he went down he saw a flash and heard a gasp and a thud. Then the doors slid closed and Peretti was gone.

Nico clutched his arm as he let out a few choice swear words. Looking over his shoulder, he found Turner lying on the hallway floor, motionless. A neat round hole adorned his forehead, a pool of blood was beginning to form around his head. Knowing it was no use, he checked the guy's pulse anyway. Nothing. Not allowing himself the time to dwell on how young and innocent Turner looked, Nico got up and looked around the hallway, quickly locating the door to the fire escape. He checked his arm, assured himself the bullet had merely grazed him. Ignoring the pain in his arm he jogged over to the fire escape. The door was unlocked and he ran down the stairs two at a time.

 _Swish-click-swish. Swish-click-swish. Swish-click-swish._

When he pushed the door to the lobby open an inch or two, Nico was immediately aware that the soft, repeating sound spelled bad news. A quiet, agonized groan confirmed it. Going into stealth mode, he quietly slipped out the door and ducked behind a potted plant that was supposed to give the otherwise sterile building a lively atmosphere.

Peering around the pot he identified the sound as belonging to the sliding doors to the parking lot. They were trying to close – _swish_ , but the crumpled form lying on the threshold kept them from doing that – _click_. Repeat.

Looked like Peretti had run into an unexpected visitor. The question was, was the visitor still around?

Nico went perfectly still and waited. The sliding doors kept at it. Nothing else moved. Peretti uttered another groan.

A minute went by, then another. Peretti let out a gurgling breath. _Swish-click. Swish-click. Swish-click._ Nico waited another minute, his eyes trained on the parking lot. Nothing. He'd have to take his chances. He needed that flashdrive and then to get out of here as fast as he could, before getting caught up in yet another police investigation. Plus, Elfman could arrive any minute, and the campaign manager was in no shape to duck and run or make a quick getaway in case the shooter was still around.

Nico fired off a brief text message to Steve Garrity, warning him to keep Elfman away if he could. Then, phone in hand, he kept as low as he could and quickly made his way over to where Peretti was playing doorstop. Grabbing the candidate under his armpits he dragged him inside so the annoying but hopefully bullet resistant doors would stop their incessant swishing and clicking. He checked for a pulse. Faint, but it was there. He didn't waste time searching other pockets first, but went right for the pocket Peretti had tried to protect by putting his hand on it as soon as Turner had mentioned the flashdrive.

 _Bingo._

Retrieving the drive, he unlocked his phone with the other hand and dialed 911. "There was a shooting. One dead, one in critical condition. Gunman may still be in the vicinity." He rattled off the address and tucked his phone away before the operator could start asking questions, grabbed Peretti's security card from where it was lying next to the dead man's body and waved it at the scanner. _Swi-_ Nico didn't wait for the sliding doors to open completely. He dove through, threw the card back inside and zigzagged his way to the car.

He made it without any incidents.

No time to waste. He could already hear sirens coming closer. Nico shoved his phone in the carkit and speed dialed Garrity's number. "You got Elfman?" He barked as he burned rubber getting off the parking lot.

"Yeah." Garrity chuckled. "Word to the wise – cracked ribs and a motorbike? Not a great combination."

"Just get his ass back to the house. I'm on my way with the flashdrive."

§§§

John leaned his head back and closed his eyes, secretly relieved to be off the bike and in the passenger seat of Steve's car. He tried to keep his breathing as shallow as he could, in order to keep the white-hot fire threatening to consume his ribs at bay. His ears were still ringing from the chewing out Steve had just given him. The security expert was right, of course, but did the guy have to be so damn _loud_ about it? Had he forgotten John had a concussion as well?

But of course that was unfair, John grudgingly admitted to himself. After all, he himself was the one that had thrown caution to the wind in the first place. That afternoon after the hacking had failed, he had gone upstairs to his bedroom. Too restless to sleep, he'd wandered over to the window... and there it was, just sitting in the backyard. A bike just like the one he'd driven himself back in the day.

And just like it always had, the sight of all that chrome and steel awakened his reckless side. The part of him he told himself he'd buried when he chose a career in campaign management – even though he suspected he hadn't really buried it that deep. Why else was he always on the move, wandering from city to city, never settling down, always looking for the thrill of winning another politcal race? Always alone...

He'd stopped his thoughts from going too far down that path by making the snap decision to go get Alicia that flashdrive.

So, yeah. It had seemed a great idea at the time. But he hadn't even been halfway to Peretti's office when the pain in his ribs got the better of him and he was forced to pull over because he could hardly breathe. He'd been about to call a cab to take him back to the house when Steve had found him and... Realizing the car had stopped, John opened his eyes to find that they were back at the house.

"You okay?" Steve was giving him a worried look.

"Fine." John got out of the car and gingerly made his way from the car to the front door of the safe house, Steve one step behind him. The door was thrown open just when they reached it, and John's shallow breathing efforts went down the drain on an involuntary intake of air at the sight that greeted him.

Alicia stood in the doorway, hands on her hips. Apparently it was warm enough inside the house for her to have shed her jacket, leaving her looking like a dream in high heels, a pencil skirt and a tanktop that showed off her narrow waist and toned arms. The light from the hallway falling on her dark hair created something close to a halo, and for a brief moment he felt the urge to smile, remembering how everyone had always used to call her Saint Alicia.

Of course, then she ruined the saintly image by opening her mouth, effectively wiping out his smile before it could even form on his lips. "You-you... Idiot! What the _hell_ were you _thinking_? You're a _campaign manager_! Not a... Not frigging _James Bond_!"

"Alicia..." He wheezed, but she steamrolled right over him.

"You were _shot_! You nearly _died_! And you walk right back into the line of fire not _thirty-six hours after that_? You better have one hell of an excuse for that!"

"We needed that flashdrive..." Why was breating so damned hard all of a sudden?

" _Fuck_ the flashdrive, damn it! You think those stupid files are worth _your life_? What if you'd run into Peretti? Or Farese? What would you have done? They wouldn't have thought twice about shooting you! Did you even stop to think about that?"

Suddenly the pain in his ribs and head, as well as his embarrassment and everything that had happened between him and Alicia over the past weeks boiled over. He tried to suck in more air, so he could yell at her that he was only trying to help, and maybe she should try being grateful and supportive instead of angry.

He took a step forward and stumbled, his head suddenly spinning and his legs giving out. The last thing he saw before he passed out from the pain was the sudden look of stark fear on Alicia's face as she raised her arms to catch him.

§§§

Dani put an arm around Alicia's shoulders. Together they watched the ambulance with John on board drive away. "Don't worry, they'll take good care of him," she said, gently rubbing the lawyer's back. "He'll be okay, you'll see." Alicia just nodded, then pulled away and went inside. Dani sighed. Alicia hadn't said a word since the arrival of the ambulance, she hadn't even objected when Steve told her she couldn't accompany John to the hospital.

"You coming?" Steve said from behind her, and Dani jumped. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he said.

"Oh, that's okay. I was just..." She shrugged.

"Worried? Traumatized? Scared shitless?"

Dani expelled another sigh, suddenly feeling bone tired. "All of the above. Let's go inside before someone shoots at us. Again." She managed a wry smile and went inside to find Alicia pacing the living room. Steve walked into the kitchen, giving them some privacy.

"Alicia?" Dani said softly.

"So, this Italian guy Mrs Richardson mentioned..." The lawyer said, looking up. "I was thinking, maybe she was talking about this Sal guy Ryan was fighting with outside the stadium on the day of the murder. But is Sal even an Italian name? You're Italian, right? Do you know if Sal is an Italian name? Short for... I don't know, Salvatore or something? What do you think?"

"Alicia, don't you think it's better if we..."

"No. Stop. Please. Just let me... I need to just... Look, Dani, I can't do the emotions thing right now, okay?"

Dani hesitated momentarily, but decided she was simply too exhausted to push right now. "Okay, but let's sit down. You look about as ready to collapse as I feel." Alicia nodded and they sat down at the dining table.

"So – what do you make of this Sal?" Alicia picked up right where she'd left off.

"Well, you're right that Sal could be an Italian name. But as long as we don't know what he and Ryan were fighting about... It's anyone's guess what he has to do with anything."

"Maybe they were fighting about Amy. Maybe Sal was the man Ryan caught Amy with later?"

"But Ryan went straight home after the fight. If he and Sal left the stadium at the same time..." Dani looked up at the sound of a car drawing up outside. Nico. It felt like a weight had been lifted from her heart, and she felt new energy seep into her body.

Alicia nodded pensively. "Yeah, you're right I guess. Sal couldn't have been the one sleeping with Amy that day – Oh." They both looked at Alicia's phone when it suddenly started buzzing.

"Go ahead, answer it," Dani said, feeling slightly guilty as she rose from her chair and hurried away from Alicia to go hug Nico. But that feeling was wiped out immediately when she saw Nico standing in the hallway. He looked pale and was clenching his jaw. "What's wrong?" She asked, her eyes zeroing in on the hole in his jacket sleeve. _It's nothing. His sleeve got stuck on a nail or something. That's all. Don't worry._ Then he took off his jacket and she gasped at the sight of his blood-soaked shirt sleeve. "Oh my God, Nico!" She rushed over to where he stood. "What happened? Oh my God, did someone shoot you? Do you need to go to the hospital? Because the ambulance just left, so... Here, let me..." She reached for the sleeve, but he stopped her by taking her hand in his.

"Dani, look at me." He waited until she looked up. "I'm fine. Just a scratch. Now, what ambulance?"

She bit her lip and searched his eyes, but found no evidence he was lying about his health. "I'll tell you all about it – in fact, we can exchange stories in the bathroom. While you let me take care of that little _scratch._ "

"You gonna kiss and make it all better... Doctor?" He said, a slight smirk tilting up one corner of his mouth.

"Nico!" But Dani felt a twinge of relief as she ushered him upstairs. After all, he couldn't be badly hurt if he was still joking, right? "Strip," she ordered as soon as he set foot in the bathroom. She found a first aid kit in the second drawer she opened. She turned back to him and started cleaning and dressing his bullet wound, trying not to show how much the sight of it upset her. Just a scratch – hah.

"So, the ambulance?" Nico asked quietly, and she cleared her throat and told him about John. Then he told her what had happened at Peretti's office, and halfway through the story she started to feel lightheaded, so she decided to lean against the sink for a minute or two. "Dani? Are you okay?" He sounded worried now.

She closed her eyes and nodded automatically as her mind bombarded her with images. Hammond, stumbling into her arms. Ryan, remembering the day his wife had been killed. Alicia, crying over her dead lover at the kitchen table. John, collapsing on the threshold. And finally she saw herself, in her bedroom at home...

"Dani." Nico's voice made her eyes snap open. He sounded almost frantic now.

She looked up at him. "I'm okay," she said, and she was. In fact, for the first time since that lunatic had shot at her on that parking lot... No, for the first time since she'd arrived in Chicago, her life seemed simple again. She knew it wasn't, she knew there were issues to work out, but... She pushed away from the sink, a smile lighting up her face as she took Nico's uninjured hand in both of hers.

"I love you," she said, surprised that her voice wasn't trembling. "And you can do this the right way when we get back home if you want, but... Life is too short to waste time and I just can't wait any longer. Even though we're in a bathroom and you're not wearing a shirt and I don't have... Well. Anyway..." She drew a breath, the smile fading into an earnest expression as she went down on one knee. She looked deep into the hazel depths of his widening eyes and asked, "Nico Careles, will you marry me?"

The silence that followed her proposal felt like it lasted an eternity. Dani knew it couldn't have been that long, but it was long enough for her brain to go into overdrive. What was he thinking? Why didn't he say anything? What was that look in his eyes? What if he said no? What if he no longer wanted to marry her after their fight? What if...

"Yes."

... she had ruined it with her stupid hangups about Ray and trust and – finally, Nico's whispered answer registered. "W-What?"

He tugged on her hand, pulled her to her feet. Letting go of her hand, he used his index finger to tilt her chin up. His expression was completely unguarded, his eyes lighting up with more emotions than she ever remembered seeing there before. He held her gaze as he repeated, "Yes, Dani. I said yes."

She threw her arms around his neck and launched herself. He caught her, his bullet wound forgotten for now, his mouth meeting hers halfway, and together they drowned in the magic of the moment.

They broke apart panting when reality intruded in the form of a knock on the door and Alicia's worried voice asking if Nico was okay.

"Better than ever," Nico whispered, before assuring Alicia in a louder voice that everything was fine and it was just a scratch. Dani rolled her eyes at that, but now that the wound was dressed she had to admit it had looked worse than it actually was. She opened the door and slipped through, intending to go find him a clean shirt.

Alicia was standing in the hallway, hugging herself. "Is he really okay?"

Dani nodded and smiled. "Nico is fine. And he has the flash drive."

"That's good news..."

Dani frowned at Alicia's distracted tone. "Are _you_ okay?" Alicia started to nod, but then shook her head. "Why? What is it?" Dani's heart suddenly sank. "Was that the hospital on the phone? Is it John?"

"Yes... No. I mean, it wasn't the hospital, but it was about John. It was someone from Washington, asking questions about when he ran my campaign."

"What? Why?"

"An extensive background check is part of the standard procedure for anyone who wants to work on a political campaign." Alicia smiled sadly. "He's leaving, Dani. He found a job in Washington."

§§§

 _"...shooting outside his office building. Mr Peretti was severely injured, and doctors said it would be nothing short of a miracle if he makes it through the night. Inside the building, the dead body of Peretti's assistant was found..._ "

"Hey, Farris, get a move on, I'm starving!" A none too gentle shove accompanied the words and Ryan felt himself stumble forward, the plate of food and cup of water teetering dangerously close to the edge of the food tray he carried in his uninjured hand before he regained his balance. He threw a cursory scowl over his shoulder at the inmate standing in line behind him, but his mind was stuck on the news report blaring from the tv hanging over the food service counter.

He'd been hungry before, but his appetite suddenly vanished as his stomach shrunk into a tiny ball and the memory of his fight with Sal outside the stadium resurfaced. His oldest cousin and once best friend had told him that even though Ryan had cut all ties between himself and the Farese family, he was expected to play along and keep his mouth shut. Ryan had refused and threatened to go public with what he knew – and because of that, Amy had died.

Now Frank Hammond was dead and Vince Peretti was dying. Uncle Vito was cleaning house. It was only a matter of time before someone came for Ryan.

As he carried his tray to the table assigned to his cell block, his eyes wandered over the prison population. Any one of these men could be one of Vito's henchmen. And contrary to what he'd believed until now, he found that he valued his life too much to just wait around in this joint for some con to shove a homemade knife between his ribs and end it for him. He needed to get out of here, and there was only one way to make that happen.

Ryan dropped the food tray on the table, turned around and made a beeline for the nearest guard station. "I need to talk to my lawyer," he told the man behind the glass. "Right now."

* * *

 **A/N: Just a heads up...** **The end of this story is near, all the pieces are in place for the finale. Depending on how it goes, there are (at most) two or three regular chapters left to write - and one epilogue. Comments on this story are much appreciated!**


	23. Chapter 23

The first light of the rising sun found him yawning and stretching as best he could in the enclosed space that was his car. From here he could see the dark sedan parked neatly along the driveway, so there was no need to check the GPS app on his phone to know that the gorilla was still holed up in there with the lawyer and the therapist, like he had been all night.

The damned house was like a fortress. He'd known as soon as he got here that the chance of him getting in there undetected was slim to none. And he needed the element of surprise if he wanted to get all of them. Which he did. The lawyer and the therapist because they were helping Farris, of course, and the gorilla because... Well, because the guy's overprotectiveness annoyed the hell out of him. It was like the gorilla had eyes in the back of his head. Not to mention the reflexes and velocity of a cat. The way the gorilla had moved and acted last night at Peretti's building had proved that he'd do well to off that guy before he offed the women... But of course he needed to figure out a way to get near them before he could off anyone at all.

A light came on on the ground floor of the house. He wished he had a pair of binoculars so he could peek through the window to see who was up so early. But he didn't, so he just settled back in his seat and waited. They had to come out of that house at some point, right?

As he waited, he absently touched the bruise on his jaw, a souvenir from the second of his two narrow escapes last night. Dear old dad packed quite a punch for a man his age.

Dropping his hand, he looked in the rearview mirror and then around to make sure there were no cops closing in on him. He knew it was only a matter of time before they connected the dots from last night, and then they would be on to him. But until they came for him, he would proceed as planned.

He just hoped the occupants of that house would hurry up and come out already, because he had the feeling that time was running out.

§§§

Was it too early to call the hospital again? Alicia wondered as she sat down at the dining table with a huge mug of coffee and placed her phone next to one of three empty champaign glasses that were scattered over the tabletop along with her laptop. She'd been so tired last night when she had retreated – well, ran away might be a better description – to her room after toasting to Dani and Nico's engagement and draining her glass, but she had hardly slept. She kept thinking about John, replaying the way he'd collapsed into her arms over and over again in her head.

 _He's going to be okay_. That's what the paramedics had told her after putting a tube in his chest so the air could escape and his collapsed lung could re-expand. But the last time she'd called the hospital, they told her that he was still unconscious, and that worried her.

No, it scared her to death.

What if he was not going to be okay? The last words she'd said to him consisted of angry yelling... And why had she been yelling at him in the first place? Because he had been trying to help her. He had risked his life for _her_. To go after something _she_ needed.

That scared her even more, because it said something about the depth of his feelings for her. Looking back, she had been yelling at herself more than at him – but he didn't know that. What if she never got a chance to make that right?

 _No. He's going to be okay. He'll make a full recovery... And then he'll go to Washington._

Why hadn't he told her about the job? And was he really going to leave? Could she make him stay? Did she even want to try? Dani thought she should, the therapist had told her so last night. But what did Alicia want? Could she love John the way he apparently loved her? Did she still have the ability to love that deeply? After Peter, after Will?

She honestly didn't know – and she was too exhausted to figure it out now.

Alicia wiped at the tears streaming down her cheeks and, feeling like a coward, reached for her laptop. The flashdrive was still connected. She, Dani and Nico had looked at the files last night, right up until the moment when Dani hadn't been able to keep from spilling her and Nico's happy news any longer and Steve had brought out the champaign before joing his brother on the front porch again to stand guard.

A picture of what was going on had begun to emerge, but she needed to go over the files again and try to fill in the gaps. Might as well do that now, while waiting for the others to wake up. She opened the first spreadsheet on the drive and stared at the names and figures listed in it. It was a lot of money. But how did Ryan fit in? His was the only name missing from the file while, as far as she could tell, his teammates were all there. Some of them had apparently gotten paid various amounts of money, some hadn't. Why?

She closed the file and opened another. This wasn't a spreadsheet, it looked more like the pages she remembered from her highschool chemistry textbooks. She frowned. This document didn't fit in with their hypothesis of what was going on at all. Why had Peretti felt the need to include chemical formulas on the flashdrive?

Alicia stared at the formulas for a minute, decided there was a reason why she'd flunked chemistry in highschool and went on to open a third file. She jumped when her phone started buzzing on the table, her heart starting to race. But it wasn't the hospital.

"Miss Florrick, it's Ryan Farris. Can I still plead not guilty? Please don't tell me it's too late for that..." Alicia sat up straight and opened her mouth to ask him what had changed but then he was talking again, the words coming out fast and desperate. "Because it's not true! I didn't kill Amy! Someone else did and I wanted to call you last night when I heard about Peretti on the news but the guards wouldn't let me and I got scared that one of the inmates was gonna kill me and I haven't slept all night and..."

"Ryan, stop," she cut him off. "Of course you can still change your plea to not guilty. Now, take a deep breath and tell me exactly what's going on. From the beginning." She heard him draw a deep breath. "But first tell me, are you okay? Physically, I mean?"

"Yeah," he said on a long sigh. "For now. But... Can you come over here to talk? It's a long story and I really don't want to do this on the phone."

"I'm on my way." They hung up and Alicia closed the laptop. Then she went upstairs to wake Dani and Nico.

§§§

The silence in the visitation room reminded Dani of the first time she'd been in there. Ryan was sitting across from her and Alicia and was staring at the wall behind them. After greeting them, he hadn't spoken a word. The difference was that Dani sensed he was merely trying to gather his thoughts, instead of refusing to talk to them, like he had that first day. Still, that didn't mean that she didn't want him to start talking already.

"I don't really know where to start," he finally admitted on a sigh.

"Why don't you start with Sal?" Dani suggested. "Who is he?"

"Sal Farese."

"He's Vito's son?"

"Yeah, the oldest one. Vito took me in when I was six and my parents died, so Sal and Tony were more like my brothers than my cousins... Well, until Sal and I were both eighteen and graduated high school."

"What happened?"

"Sal decided to go work for Vito. I decided their life wasn't for me. They... didn't like that at all. So I broke all ties to the Fareses. Changed my name and everything. I was gonna skip town, but then I got drafted by the Cougars, so I decided to stay."

"And that's when you met Amy?"

"Well, she was Sean's sister so I knew her in high school, but that's when we started dating, yeah..." He sighed. "I've asked myself over and over again why I didn't skip town as planned. If I had, she'd be alive now and..."

"Ryan," Dani stopped him gently. "Stop torturing yourself like that. You didn't kill Amy by staying in Chicago... Or in any other way."

"Maybe. But she died because of something I did – something I refused to do. That day outside the stadium? Sal came to bully me into deliberately losing that night's game. I told him no – said I had proof of what they were doing and was gonna post it online for everyone to see."

Dani nodded. Just like they'd surmised from the info on the flash drive – there was some form of game fixing going on at the Cougars.

"Was it the first time that happened?" Alicia asked.

"It was the first time they'd sent Sal. Not the first time they tried to make me go along with their schemes. They tried to bribe me several times. Although no one had approached me in almost a year before Sal came by." He expelled a bitter laugh. "I used to think that I'd finally managed to convince them to stay away. Stupid, right? I should have known better."

"What do you mean?" Dani asked.

"They only stayed away because they found another way to make me lose. They didn't need to pay me. Instead, they paid Edward Foster. He made sure I started losing games whether they paid me or not."

Dani thought of what Alicia had said about the chemistry formulas she'd found on the flashdrive that morning. "Drugs..." she muttered.

"Drugs," Ryan confirmed. "Foster made them. He's some kind of chemistry wizard or something."

"How did you find out?"

"Amy..." His voice cracked, and he drew a deep breath. "Right after we got married, Vito sent some of his men to our apartment. They threatened to kill both me and her family if she didn't cooperate. So she did."

"And by cooperate they meant drugging you?" Alicia asked.

"Yeah. You know those performance enhancement drugs some athletes take? The drug they gave me was designed to do the complete opposite. It drained my strength, messed with my reflexes and coordination, stuff like that."

"But why? They could have just threatened to kill Amy to make you cooperate, and you would have done it, right?"

"Guess this was easier. Less messy. Gave them a chance to test their drugs too, see if they could find a way to... Market them. You know, so they wouldn't have to bribe so many people on so many teams all the time." Ryan let out a flat sounding chuckle. "Even the mob wants to run as cost-efficient as possible."

"And Amy told you all that on the day she was killed?"

"Yeah. I mean, I had known for a while that something was wrong with me... I felt tired and sick and I couldn't figure out why. And neither could Doc Foster. Or so he said. And I also had these... fits of agression, and sometimes I blacked out and couldn't remember parts of my day, you know? The head coach told me to go see a shrink, so I went to Doctor Hammond and things started to get a little better."

Dani held back a shiver when Ryan mentioned the name of the Cougars staff psychologist.

"I don't get it, if your problems were caused by the drugs, why did they get better when you started seeing a psychologist?" Alicia asked.

"Foster must have been afraid Hammond would find out about the drugs and stopped administering them for a while," Dani said.

"But then what about the game fixing? They just put that on hold too?"

"No," Ryan said. "But they would only tell Amy to give me drugs on the days of those games that I needed to lose. Since they also needed the Cougars to win games sometimes, they could let me play those games without the drugs."

"Why did she finally decide to come clean to you?" Dani asked.

"She saw the drug was destroying me. Couldn't do it anymore." Ryan dropped his head to stare at the tabletop. "We had a big fight the night before she told me. I caught her cheating when I got home from practice early."

"Alex Grisham?" Alicia asked, and he nodded.

"Yeah. She'd hired him as an investigator to dig up any dirt he could find on Farese and Peretti so she could blackmail them into leaving us, and her family, alone. And I guess she was scared or something. She said he was just trying to comfort her and one thing led to another and that's how they ended up in bed. And then I got home early and I...I kind of went berserk. Punched Grisham a couple times, then kicked him out and started yelling at Amy. She looked so scared, and she was screaming and crying... And then she locked herself in the bathroom and didn't come out before I had gone to sleep. Just like she did the next night..."

"On the night she was murdered," Alicia mused. "Were you fighting then too?"

"No! We... we were both in the bathroom that night."

"Why, Ryan? And why did you have your gun there?" Dani asked

"After I saw Sal at the stadium I was so worked up that I couldn't go straight home, so I went to the gym first. You know, to kick the shit out of a punching bag. And then when I got home... He was there."

"Sal?"

"Yeah... At least, I think it was him. He had a mask on. He was holding a gun to her head in the bathroom and she was crying and pleading and begging... So I jumped on him, to get him off her and the gun... my gun... it went off."

"And the bullet hit Amy," Dani said quietly.

"Yeah, but I didn't know! I mean I was still fighting him. I was trying to get the gun from him. He... stabbed me."

"He _stabbed_ you?" Alicia frowned. "You didn't have any knife wounds when they found you, Ryan."

"Yeah, no, I mean... With a needle. In my neck. He drugged me. And then everything gets blurry and vague until I woke up the next morning. You know the rest."

"You remember nothing from the moment he drugged you?"

He sighed. "Well... There are some bits and pieces... But most of them don't make any sense, so..."

"Tell us anyway," Dani encouraged because, if nothing else, she knew he needed to get it all out.

"Well... He left me there and I felt... Woozy. I passed out for a while. Then I think I woke up again, but maybe ot... I mean, it felt like a dream. There were colors everywhere. And animals too, for some reason... At some point I was in the living room, trying to find an orange-and-blue bear or something. I don't remember exactly, but I tought it was really important. I couldn't find it because of all the blue-and-orange fish swimming around, so I went looking for it in the hallway outside the apartment. And when I got back to the bathroom Amy was gone and there was a pink turtle..."

"Ryan," Alicia interrupted, "Do you remember what you did _right after_ you went back into your apartment from the outside hallway? Before you went back to the bathroom? Think hard, this is important."

The pitcher shook his head slowly, but his expression was thoughtful. "I think... I think I remember staring at little green butterflies for a while. They looked pretty... Like they were glowing somehow. But then they started screaming and I got mad and scared. And I smashed them. With my fingers, that's how small they were. Stupid, right?"

Alicia shook her head. "Maybe not... What color are the keys of your alarm system?"

"Black, like the rest of the thing I guess... Why?"

"But they light up?" Alicia asked, and when Ryan nodded, Dani started to see where the lawyer was going with this. "What color is the light?"

Ryan's forehead creased as he thought about the question. Then he gasped. "Green! The light is green, like the butterflies!"

One of the biggest reasons the police hadn't looked too closely at other possible suspects was that the alarm system had been activated, Dani remembered. The cleaning woman had turned it off the next morning, before discovering Ryan and Amy in the bathroom.

"The alarm was going off, that's what the screaming was..." Ryan continued slowly, thoughtfully. "That's what you're saying, right? And I wasn't smashing butterflies, I was keying in the code that resets the systems and lets the police know there's no reason to..." His voice trailed off and a look of pure horror and grief clouded his handsome features.

"Ryan, look at me," Dani said resolutely, and waited until he complied. "Amy was already dead by that time. Even if you hadn't reset the alarm and the police had come, that wouldn't have changed anything." He nodded, but she could see he didn't believe her. Her heart broke for him, because she knew he had a long way to go before he could even begin to forgive himself for everything that had happened. "Listen, Ryan..."

"Dani, I think we need to leave now," Alicia said at the same time. "I'm sorry, Ryan. But we need to go see Judge Cuesta. And Geneva Pine, too. They need to know about Sal Farese."

"Geneva...?" Dani frowned, then remembered the woman. "The prosecutor, you mean? Why would you tell her? Or the judge? Isn't it better to keep that as... You know, your secret weapon to win the case?"

"In any other case I would. But since this is the Farese family... Ryan's not safe here. For all we know, it was Farese that shot Peretti and Hammond, or one of his men. If they decided to clean house... I know of at least four of Farese's men being imprisoned in this very facility, so he needs to be transferred somewhere else as soon as possible. The judge needs to approve a transfer, and that means Geneva has to know too, or she will object and cause a delay."

"Maybe you could go to court while I..."

"No, Doc, it's okay. You go. I'll be fine." Ryan said. He looked completely worn out, his face seeming paler than the sling on his arm. "I'll go back to my cell and hole up there until you get me transferred." He tried a smile, but it looked more like a grimace.

Dani hesitated, but Alicia was already getting up and signaling the guard that they were done here. "Okay – but I'll be back as soon as I can, so we can talk some more," she promised Ryan.

"I'd like that... And Doc? Thanks for not giving up on me," he said. "You too," he told Alicia.

The lawyer smiled, but Dani could almost see the wheels turning in her head. Alicia's mind was already at the courthouse.

§§§

Nico let his eyes wander around the courthouse hallway, feeling only slightly reassured by the guards he saw here and there. He felt on edge, nervous. He'd been a SEAL for too long to suddenly ignore his instincts, and his instincts were telling him something was wrong. He wished he'd brought his gun, but his NY permit wasn't recognized here so he'd been forced to leave it at home.

They were standing outside Judge Cuesta's office, waiting for the judge to finish a conference call. Geneva Pine was reportedly on her way here too, but with the number of people milling around the hallway it was impossible to spot anyone further than a few feet away. It was lunchtime and so the judges in most of the courtrooms had recessed, leaving lawyers, witnesses, reporters and jurors to roam freely about the courthouse while they stretched their legs, made phonecalls, had impromptu strategy meetings right there in the hallway... All in all, not an ideal situation from a security standpoint.

"Excuse me, coming through..." A security guard holding two paper cups of coffee was making his way through the crowd, coming straight towards them. Nico stepped aside to let the man pass – and then it happened.

Seemingly out of nowhere, a man catapulted himself at the guard. The guard stumbled, the coffee went flying. Nico heard Dani shriek and she and the two men went down in a tangle of arms and legs. Nico was at her side immediately, pushing the men out of the way so he could pull her back to her feet. "You okay?" He asked when she was standing again. She started to nod but froze midway through when a woman screamed from behind Nico's back.

"Ohmigod ohmigod he's got a gun!"

He whirled around to find the guy who had jumped the guard standing in the middle of a widening circle of spectators, the guard crumpled at his feet in a pool of coffee. Alicia stood about six feet away from him, frozen in place as she stared into the barrel of the gun the guy was pointing at her.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Hope there are stil people reading this... This chapter is shorter than I would have liked, considering the time you had to wait for it, but it's something at least. Hope you enjoy. More to come, but I am still quite busy, so I don't know when. Thank you all for your patience!**

* * *

The outside world seemed to come to a standstill, but everything inside Alicia was in frantic motion. Her gut churned, her heart pounded, her muscles tensed up. And through it all, her thoughts raced. Thoughts of her children led the race, but were soon pushed aside by thoughts of Will, by the image of his broken body lying on a courtroom floor in a growing pool of blood.

She had never seen the real life version of that image, because she hadn't been in court on the day Jeffrey Grant had killed him. But it had haunted her nightmares. Would the image of her own dead body soon haunt the nightmares of the ones who loved her? Her kids, her mother and brother's... John's nightmares? Was this how Will had felt when Grant had pointed the gun in his direction? This paralyzed, this powerless?

As she tried in vain to brace herself for the bullet, she looked at the man pointing the gun at her. It was like her vision had sharpened, every last detail of his appearance jumping out at her. He looked plain, with his brown hair and glasses, his cheap suit and his soft belly. But there was a bruise on his jaw and a little speck of blood on the white collar of his shirt. And his eyes, that should have seemed warm because of their deep brown color, looked hard and cold. The hand holding the gun was steady, the barrel aimed straight at her chest. This was a man on a mission, and his portrayal of steely resolve was only belied by the slight trembling of his lips, glistening slightly because he kept licking them.

Alicia's own gaze fixed on his as her mind continued the jumbled whirlwind of thoughts and memories that seemed to randomly pop up from somewhere deep inside her. An endless parade of people she had known, places she had gone to, decisions she had made. The good and the bad, the right and the wrong. She now saw every part of her life, every path she had taken, with absolute clarity. All the baggage she had collected on the way seemed to weigh her down, and she suddenly wondered why she had kept carrying all of it around for so long.

 _If only John were here. I could tell him..._

"I told them it wouldn't work." The gunman's voice was loud and clear in the thick silence that had descended on the courthouse hallway, but it still took Alicia a second to register that he was talking to her. "I told them they shouldn't get her involved. That was a wrong move. But they didn't listen, did they? No. Because I'm not important. Ha. I showed them, right? And now I will show you. And Farris. That bastard won't get away with killing her."

"Sal." Dani spoke up, her voice soft and steady, but authoritative. "You are surrounded by armed guards. Don't make this any worse than it already is. Put the gun down."

His eyes didn't leave Alicia's, the gun didn't waver. It was like he hadn't even noticed Dani. But his next words confirmed that he had. "Sal?" he snorted. "That prick is dead. So is Vito. They paid. Now it's your turn."

His gaze dropped to his hand, and Alicia's eyes followed.

His finger tightened on the trigger.

There was virtually no sound when the gun went off, and Alicia had time to be surprised about that before the bullet hit.

§§§

Dani heard a high-pitched scream and at first didn't realize it came from her own mouth. The man who apparently wasn't Sal Farese had just shot Alicia in the chest, the lawyer's body now lying crumpled on the floor. Nico had launched himself at the gunman just a fraction too late and was now wrestling him to the floor, trying to keep the gun aimed to the ceiling. Jason was trying to help, but the throng of people running in all directions made it hard for him to get close... Someone collided into her from behind and Dani was knocked over again, hitting the floor so hard that the air was forced from her lungs, effectively cutting off her screaming. And making her realize...

 _Vest!_

She was wearing a bulletproof vest – and so was Alicia. If the gunman had shot the lawyer in the chest... Dani was on her hands and knees in no time flat and started crawling to where Alicia had fallen – only to be held back by an iron hand on her calf.

"Stay down. Stay here." Steve. He dragged her with him, behind one of the marble columns that lined the courthouse hallway. Out of the line of fire. "Boss's orders." He nodded in the direction where Nico must still be wrestling the gunman, although Dani couldn't see them.

Dani pushed at the bodyguard's chest, trying to get around him. "Alicia..."

"Let me handle Alicia. Just stay." With that he turned and headed for Alicia. Dani hesitated only a moment before she followed him, still on all fours. If Alicia needed any kind of medical attention...

"Doctor Santino! Dani!" A woman's voice, behind her. Dani wanted to ignore it, but a hand grabbed her shoulder. When she looked up, there was detective Shelley Anderson, gun drawn. "What's going on?" The cop asked in an urgent voice. "Who is that guy?"

Dani glanced back at Steve, saw that he had reached Alicia and was now dragging her limp body to safety – while giving Dani a dirty look when he saw that she'd come out from behind the column. There was no blood, so the bullet must have hit the vest. Dani looked back at Anderson and began to explain, only to stop mid-sentence when the detective gasped and ran off – to where Nico was.

The stream of running people had thinned to a mere trickle, so nothing was obstructing Dani's view now. Ice coated her veins when she saw the men on the floor. Somehow the attacker had gotten on top of her fiance, his gun pressing firmly into Nico's forehead. Detective Anderson was pointing her own gun at the gunman's head.

§§§

He'd gotten a few good punches and kicks in, but now the gunman had managed to get the upper hand. Nico blamed the bullet wound in his arm for that, but he refused to let the pain hold him back. He gritted his teeth, hooked his leg around that of the guy and flexed his arm muscles in an effort to push the gun away and roll them both over again.

Two voices – a man's and a woman's – speaking simultaneously interrupted him before he could follow through.

"Police! Drop the weapon and put your hands on your head!"

"What the hell is going on... _Tony_?"

The gunman froze and looked up in the direction of the male voice. Suddenly he seemed to forget all about Nico. "You!" He snarled, grinding the gun into Nico's forehead with even more force now.

"Drop the gun! Now!" Detective Anderson repeated.

Ignoring her, the gunman pushed himself up, wrestled himself free from Nico's hands and aimed the gun at the newcomer's head. "I can't believe I almost forgot about you – _Your Honor_!" His last two words were dripping with more venom than a nest of baby vipers.

Nico sat up and turned his head to see Judge Cuesta standing there, a shocked look on his face as he raised his hands. "Tony, what are you doing? Your father..." His Honor stuttered.

"My father can't protect you anymore. He paid for what he did. Now, so will you."

Both Nico and Anderson sprang at the gunman, but it was too late.

"What..." Was all Cuesta had time to say before the guy pulled the trigger and the judge's face disappeared. Anderson's gun went off at the same time, the bullet zinging past Nico's ear before hitting the killer in the shoulder.

"Should've dropped the gun when I told you, you bastard!" Nico heard the detective mutter as she pushed past him and kicked the legs out from under the killer before efficently cuffing him. Then she pushed her hair back from her face and lifted one eyebrow at Nico. "So let me guess... This is the bastard that took a shot at your girlfriend the other day?"

"No," Nico said.

"No?" Anderson said in surprised unison with Dani, who was suddenly standing beside him and clutching his arm.

"No." Nico repeated. Then he put his arm around Dani's shoulders, tugging her close. She hid her face against his shoulder and he felt her tremble as she fought to hold back her tears. "I'm guessing this is the asshole that made my _fiancee_ watch someone die – twice." He nodded at the judge's body.

Anderson's expression sobered. "He won't get away with it," she promised him in a grave voice.

Nico nodded once, then guided Dani towards the column where the Garrity brothers were keeping watch over Alicia, who apparently remained unconscious.

§§§

Alicia kept her eyes closed to block out the world a little longer. Someone had been shot. She didn't know who, but judging by the worried voices surrounding her it wasn't someone from their little group. And someone else had dealt with the gunman, so the danger had passed. That was good. But she couldn't cope with the chaos of the aftermath yet. So she kept her eyes closed and focused on the sensations in her body.

The area of her chest where the bullet must have hit her felt like it was one giant bruise, pounding in time with her heartbeat. But she savored it, because it meant that she still _had_ a heartbeat. The tiled floor of the courthouse hallway felt cold beneath the backs of her legs and head, where there was no bulletproof vest to protect her. She realized how lucky she'd been that the gun had been aimed at her chest, and not at her head.

She was alive. Her kids would be spared of the nightmares that had kept her up for years. They wouldn't have to carry the weight of _if only_ on their shoulders like she had. They wouldn't have to try to glue their lives back together after having it shattered into a million pieces, only to discover an essential piece was missing. She was alive.

 _Maybe I should start acting like it._

The thought hit her seemingly from nowhere, but she knew immediately that it hit the nail right on the head. She'd felt a part of her die that night at the hospital, looking at Will's lifeless face. She had closed herself off from everyone around her after that.

She had moved through the world like a zombie, not entirely dead but not even close to alive either. Letting nobody near her, not even her family. Pushing friends away until she had none left. Numbing the resulting loneliness with alcohol under the pretense of relaxing after a trying day. And not even noticing how empty her life had become, because she hadn't even fully realized she still _had_ a life, until first John and then Dani and Nico had shown up and opened her eyes.

Now, for the first time in years, she truly felt alive... But she also felt that somewhere along the way she had forgotten how to live. And she wasn't sure how to go about solving all the issues and shedding all the baggage that kept her from remembering what that felt like. It seemed like too huge a task for just one woman...

"Do you need help?"

Alicia's eyes flew open at the question to find Dani, Nico and both the Garritys giving her worried looks. She blinked and sat up. Pondered the question. "Yes," she said, looking at Dani. "I think I do." Dani studied her, then nodded slowly, understanding in her eyes.

Jason immediately sprang to his feet. "Over here!" He called out, waving his arms, and she frowned. Who was he talking to? "This woman needs help!" He pointed at her, stepped aside and she understood.

Two paramedics came rushing over with a gurney. Someone must have called in the cavalry while she'd been unconscious. "Where are you injured, ma'am?" One of them asked as he knelt down beside her and reached for her coat so he could take it off.

"Oh – no, I'm fine. Jason, I didn't mean..." Alicia started, but it was no use. The paramedics were intent on checking her out. She looked at Dani again, but the therapist just raised her eyebrow and smiled. Alicia sighed and let the paramedics do their job.


	25. Chapter 25

_"...in custody and will be charged with homicide. A spokeswoman said Tony Farese is believed to be responsible for at least four killings over the past days. Judge Richard Cuesta was shot in the courthouse today. Earlier this week, Farese allegedly shot Dr. Frank Hammond, the staff psychologist for the Chicago Cougars. And this afternoon, the bodies of Vito and Salvatore Farese were discovered in the Farese mansion just outside town..."_

John looked away from the tv hanging over his hospital bed when a nurse walked in to check his IV. It was the same woman that had taken Alicia's message earlier and told him not to worry about his girlfriend. She'd been at the courthouse, but she wasn't hurt. John hadn't bothered to correct the nurse on the girlfriend part. He still didn't know exactly where he stood with Alicia, but he was sure they would figure that out soon.

"They say he's the same guy that tried to kill Mr. Peretti," the nurse said, looking at the tv.

John frowned. " _Tried_ to kill? You mean he's not...?"

"No, he's in the ICU. He was in surgery all night and it was touch and go there for a while but he pulled through. We're waiting for him to wake up so the doctors can test for brain damage. They think he'll come to any day now. Lucky guy. Although I don't think he'll get to be the Governor anytime soon. Shame. I was going to vote for him. Mostly because I really don't like that Florrick guy, but..."

The nurse rattled on, but John tuned her out. He tried to imagine the look on Peretti's face if his former campaign manager were to walk into his hospital room, surprisingly alive and in relatively good shape. Who knew, maybe it would be enough to give the prick the fatal heart attack he so badly needed... On second thought, John decided that giving Peretti a heart attack wouldn't be nearly as satisfying as watching him go through the public humiliation of a big trial and be punished for his crimes. Maybe that would finally drive home the message that the law _did_ in fact apply to everyone. John realized he was probably going to be called to testify against his ex candidate. He couldn't wait.

"Oh, and your girlfriend called again," the nurse said, and John turned his attention back to her. "She said to tell you that she's still at the police station and doesn't know how long she'll be held up there. You shouldn't count on her to come see you today, I guess. Visiting hours are almost over."

John gave her his most charming smile. "Can't you make an exception? I really need to see her."

"We'll see. I just gave you a new dose of painkillers. Chances are you'll be sound asleep by the time she gets here. And you know what they say – sleep is the best medicine!"

"Yeah, yeah... You don't have to sound so damn perky about it," John grumbled, planning to stay awake as long as he needed to. But she must have given him an extra high dose for the night, because an hour later he was out cold.

§§§

Nico couldn't wait to be back home, where the coffee was good. He made a face and put the paper cup of black dishwater they called coffee here on the windowsill next to where he was leaning against the wall of the police station's conference room. Dani caught his eye from where she was sitting at the table, along with Alicia and prosecutor Geneva Pine, and smirked knowingly.

"Well, that Tony Farese is one creepy guy," Detective Anderson stated as she walked into the room. "And quite the stalker. We found a room in his apartment, walls covered floor to ceiling with pictures of Amy Farris. He says he loved her. According to him, they were meant to be together from the first time he saw her, way back when the whole Farris-Farese-Richardson gang was still in highschool. But Ryan snatched her up before he could, and he hated him for that. Killing all those people was a quest for revenge." She sighed heavily and dropped a thick casefile on the conference table. Then she plopped down on a chair. "A hell of a mess, that's what I call it."

"So he hasn't confessed to killing Amy?" Geneva Pine asked.

"No. But we have him on video, entering the apartment building. Just a couple of minutes before Ryan got there. He left again about fifteen minutes later. Crying his eyes out. Just before he walked out of the frame he threw something in a dumpster that might very well have been a ski mask. We think his father sent him to threaten Ryan and Amy some more and things got out of hand when Ryan got home. He must have..."

"Wait. Hold it right there. What video are you talking about?" Alicia asked.

"Traffic cam outside." Anderson shrugged awkwardly. "We, um, we should have looked at it before, I guess, but..."

"But you already had your suspect. So why bother? Case closed, right?" Ice crackled in the lawyer's voice, making Nico think that he would hate to be in Anderson's shoes right now. Alicia ignored the cop's stammering reply and turned to Pine. "So, when will my client be released from jail?"

"Just that Farese was there, doesn't mean..." Pine started.

"Oh, for God's sake!" Alicia threw up her hands. "You _know_ Ryan didn't kill her! Haven't you listened to our story at all? Ryan tried to _save_ Amy! The killer _drugged_ him! He..."

"That's just a bunch of hearsay and..."

"Ladies! Save it for court, please!" Anderson shouted. Nico admired her fast recovery. "There's more," she said in her normal voice. She looked at Nico. "We found Cuesta's name on that flashdrive. Apparently, the judge was quite the gambler."

"Let me guess. He bet on the Cougars?" Nico kept his face straight, not planning on revealing that he knew this part already. Xeno had gotten back to him with Cuesta's background file just a little too late – right after the courthouse shooting.

"Among other teams. But he wasn't very lucky. He had built up a considerable debt. Farese and Peretti used that as an incentive for him to ignore any evidence that pointed in the direction of someone other than Ryan Farris as the killer. At first he said no, but then they threatened his family on top of offering to free him of his debts. And that, apparently, was an offer he couldn't refuse... That's about enough for a mistrial, if I am correct?" Everyone looked at Pine, who seemed to deflate instantly. The prosecutor closed her eyes and started massaging her temples.

"Well, that about covers the most important stuff. You can all go home now," Anderson said, and Dani and Alicia perked up. "That is, everyone except you, Mr. Careles. I'll need you for another minute or two."

Nico frowned, but when he caught Dani's worried glance he smoothed his forehead out again. "Wait for me outside? I won't be long," he said, and she bit her lip. But then she nodded and filed out behind the others.

"The traffic cam didn't provide the most interesting video, if you ask me. We've also been looking at security footage from Peretti's office. Some very interesting stuff there, too. How's the arm?"

"Fine." Nico raised an eyebrow. "Is there a point to this, detective?"

Anderson rolled her eyes. "Geez, I just thought I'd warn you." She nodded her head at the door. "Pitbull Pine might decide to charge you with breaking and entering when she sees that video. If I were you, I'd want to have a good explanation ready."

Nico inclined his head. "Thanks for the heads up. Now, if there's nothing else?"

"Just... Stay out of trouble. And make that fiancee of yours happy."

He smirked. "I would already be doing that last part if it weren't for you keeping me here."

"But nothing on the first part, huh? Figures." She grinned. "It's been fun working with ya, Careles. I'll try my best to keep Pine out of your hair. Now scram."

Nico didn't need to be told twice.

§§§

"Wow. You have your own jet?"

Dani smiled at the awe in Alicia's voice as they looked up at said jet. "Yup. Well, Nico does. He lets me tag along. Best part about that? No puking kids on the flight home." They both laughed, remembering how Dani had been forced to show up to their very first meeting in a sundress instead of the sensible suit she'd been planning on.

Alicia was the first to turn serious again. "Dani? Thanks. For everything. I don't think I could have done this without you. Any of it. If there's ever anything I can do in return..."

"There is, actually." Dani smiled. "Talk to John. As soon as possible. He needs to know."

"I know." The lawyer's gaze dropped to her shoes. "I'm planning on going to the hospital as soon as I leave here."

"Good. Also, call that number I gave you." Dani closed the distance between them and hugged Alicia tight. "And don't be a stranger," she said, biting back tears. She hated saying goodbye. "My door is always open to friends."

"I..." Alicia choked up. "I'll take you up on that."

The sound of someone discreetly clearing their throat broke the moment. And none too soon, because Dani feared they had both been about to turn into blubbering messes and that would have ruined their makeup. She stepped away from Alicia and right into Nico's arms.

"Time to go," he said. "We expect to see you at our wedding, Counselor." He held out his hand.

Alicia took it with a small but radiating smile. "Count on it. Thanks for your help, Nico." She dabbed her eyes and cleared her throat. "Well, I'll let you go now. Have a safe flight."

"Say bye to John for us," Dani called out after her as she turned and walked away. Alicia waved in answer. A sigh escaped Dani.

"She'll be fine. She's strong," Nico said, squeezing her shoulder.

"I know, but still. She has a lot to work through. I feel like I'm abandoning her. And Ryan, too." They had visited the pitcher in prison to say goodbye yesterday, after returning from the police station. She could tell he wanted her to stay, but she was confident he would be in good hands with the therapist her colleague Dr. Gunner had recommended. And so would Alicia. Dani had done everything she could here, it was time to go home. Her clients in New York needed her too. TK alone had left her a dozen voicemail messages in the past couple of days. And... "Well, let's get out of here," she said. "We have a wedding to plan. And I want to finally see if that engagement ring matches my clothes."

§§§

A week after she had said goodbye to her new friends, Alicia looked up from the box of stuff she'd been packing and saw Ryan Farris standing in her office doorway. He looked sad and lost.

"Hi," he said, eyeing the mess on the floor and the boxes lining the walls. "I... I can come back later..."

"That's okay, I'm glad to see you, Ryan. Come in. Sorry about the mess. How are you doing?"

"Okay, I guess. You know... Considering." He carefully stepped around a box blocking his path. "Are you moving?"

"Well..." She looked around until she spotted her visitor's chairs, hidden under huge stacks of casefiles. She started moving the files to the floor and Ryan immediately stepped in to help her. "The truth is, I'm taking some personal time," she said once they had both sat down.

He blinked. "Oh. But what about..." he gestured at the casefiles.

"Those are old cases. And I've found someone to take over my current cases. Her name is Lucca Quinn. I think you'll like her. She's..." Alicia faltered when it occurred to her that this may not have been the best way to break the news to him that he was getting a new lawyer. "...I'm sorry, Ryan. I should have told you yesterday."

"That's okay," he said. "Yesterday was a bit of a rollercoaster."

Yesterday had been the day that he'd finally been released from prison and Alicia had stood next to him when he faced the news hyenas at the prison gates. Then she'd accompanied him to talkshow after talkshow, because everyone wanted their piece of the delicious drama that was the wrongfully accused star pitcher who'd been at the center of what had quickly become the biggest baseball scandal in the history of the sport. Not to mention the political scandal following the revelation that Vince Peretti, the man who couldn't be bought, had been in on the Mafia operation.

And the drama wasn't over yet. Ryan still had to testify against Peretti in court and there were other loose ends to the case that needed wrapping up as well. And here she was, leaving him to face it all alone. Well, with Miss Quinn's help of course, but still... She was deserting a client, something she had never done before. "I'm sorry. If you want, I'll stay and wrap up your case first."

"What? No, you don't have to do that! That could take months and..." He shrugged awkwardly, his eyes dropping to his lap.

"And...?" she encouraged him.

"Well... It's just that... You look like you could use a vacation. I hope you don't mind me saying that..."

"No, you're right." Alicia sighed. "But I think a vacation won't be enough. The truth is... I don't know when I'll be back. If ever." She was surprised to hear herself say it out loud. Until now she had told everyone who had asked that she was just taking some time off and would be back in a couple of weeks. Maybe she had even believed that herself. But now that her whole career was in boxes, it felt like something more... permanent. "I think I may need a new start."

"Wow. That sounds serious. Is everything okay?"

She smiled. "I think it will be, eventually. And that has to be enough for now. Now tell me how you are doing."

Ryan's eyes filled. "I need a new start too. I just don't know if I can make one." He looked away. "I miss her so much. She was all I had, and now..." He broke down sobbing.

Alicia sat frozen for a second, not sure what to say and wishing Dani was there to take over. But as it turned out, just thinking about the therapist was enough. Alicia reached out, took Ryan's hands in hers and squeezed. She still couldn't think of anything to say, but judging by the way he grasped her hands he took comfort from her anyway.

Eventually his crying subsided and he apologized for breaking down like that. Then he offered to help her pack and she accepted. They made quick work of the remaining files and he helped her carry the boxes to the archive room in the basement. As she switched off the light and locked the door, she felt a weight lift off her shoulders. "Let me buy you dinner. As a thank you for your help," she said. "You must be starving."

Right at that moment, his stomach growled. "I guess I am," he said sheepishly. Then he surprised both of them by grinning and adding, "Prison food isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know."

They opted for the quiet Italian place where Alicia had taken Dani that first night and they raised their glasses to freedom and new starts. They agreed not to talk about anything too serious, which meant Alicia learned a lot about baseball. She felt a bittersweet sting remembering how fond Will had been of the game, but it wasn't as sharp as it had once been. She in turn treated Ryan to some juicy stories about politicians and lawyers. He laughed, but the sadness didn't leave his eyes. That would probably take years, she knew.

He hugged her when they said goodbye, and she hugged him back. "Thanks for not giving up on me," he said.

"You're welcome. But Ryan?" She waited until he looked at her. "Don't give up on yourself now. You'll be hurting for a long time, and it will be hard to go on sometimes. But you have to try. Because you're not the one who died. You're alive. If you give up, you'll end up like... Well. Um." She looked away, suddenly awkward again. When Dani said that kind of thing it sounded right, but when she said it... She took a deep breath and continued, "Anyway. Just promise me that you will not give up. Okay?" She looked back up at him, fearing she'd crossed a line and ready to start apologizing for it, but he didn't look offended.

"I promise," he said quietly. "But only if you promise to do the same."

Alicia smiled. "I'm working on it," she told him.

§§§

 _It's not you, it's me._

How many times had he said those words himself, using them as an easy way out? But Alicia had really meant them. At first, John had felt hurt. But now that he had time to think, he understood. There was a sadness deep inside her that he couldn't reach, couldn't get to, as much as he wanted to. And he wanted to, because he wanted to make her happy.

 _You're better off in Washington._

That had surprised him, that she knew about the job offer. He'd never gotten the chance to tell her about it. But she hadn't seemed mad or hurt that he hadn't. She had told him to take the job. He had told her he'd much rather stay.

 _It wouldn't be fair to ask you to stay. I can't be with you._

So here he was, at O'Hare, about to board the plane that would take him to the city he would call home for the next year or so. Off to a new start. New people. New challenges. New possibilities. The wanderer inside him cheered at the idea – but not as enthusiastically as it once had. The bleeding heart romantic wept. That part of him had hoped all week. That she would change her mind, ask him to stay, promise him forever. Even though he knew she wouldn't – because she couldn't. Not right now.

 _I need to be on my own._

She was too damn independent for her own good – but then again, that independent nature was a big part of what had made him fall head over heels in love with her in the first place. So he didn't hold that against her. And even though she had never told him the exact nature of the ghosts that were haunting her, he understood her need to conquer them herself, without any help. Because in her mind, that was the only way to make sure they were really dead. He could respect that decision.

But he would have liked to at least share one last night with her. One last kiss, even.

 _I love you._

Well, at least he had those three words, whispered in his ear right before she'd left his hospital room.

 _Goodbye, John._

"See you later, Alicia," he whispered as he made his way to the gate.

With one last look over his shoulder, just in case, John handed his boardingpass to the flight attendant. Alicia hadn't come. Still he felt a small smile on his lips. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that they would meet again someday. In the right time and the right place. He might as well embrace his new life while he waited for that moment.

 **THE END?**

* * *

 **A/N: Well, that was sudden... But please don't freak out. The main story may be over, but I am working on an epilogue right now. I will post it within a week. Hope you enjoyed the journey!**


	26. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 _About one year later_

They looked so happy. Alicia sipped her red wine as she watched the bride and groom glide across the floor for the opening dance. Dani was gorgeous in her sparkly white designer dress, which was shorter and tighter than Alicia would have ever dared wearing. But the therapist pulled it off gloriously. As if to prove that point, the big black man sitting next to Alicia let out a loud catcall. "Looking _hot_ , Doctor D!" He shouted. Nico raised an eyebrow at him. "Woops, sorry, Sneako! Force of habit..." he smirked. Then he tried again, even louder: "Looking _hot_ , Mrs. C!"

Alicia smiled at the handsome man sitting on her other side. He looked a bit shocked. "You'll get used to TK," she told him. "I have. Well, for the most part." She studied him. The tux looked good on him. He had gained some weight, and the color had returned to his cheeks since she'd last seen him in person, a little over a year ago outside a restaurant in Chicago. He did his best to look happy and cheerful, but the sadness was still there. But he hadn't given up. In fact, Ryan Farris had just been signed to pitch for the New York Yankees a week ago – making his new start a reality.

"You agree, right, Farris? She's _smokin'_!" TK insisted.

"Um, sure, I guess... I mean she's my therapist so I can't really..."

"Hell, dog, it's all good! I'm just messin' around. She's my therapist too. Has she given you the boundaries speech yet?"

"Um... I'm not sure..."

Alicia took pity on Ryan. "I love this song," she said, even though she had no idea which song it was. "Which of you handsome boys will ask me to dance?" Ryan was on his feet in an instant, holding out his hand for her to take. His smile was genuine, and the sadness was hidden beneath the twinkle in his eyes for the moment. As she got up, she still felt amazed about how far he'd come in a year. How far they had both come.

§§§

"She looks happy," Dani said as she and her husband circled the floor again. "I guess Dr. Gunner has done a good job."

"Well, I hear he is the best therapist in town..." Nico deadpanned. Dani smacked his bicep. "Hey, I didn't say I agreed, did I?" He protested.

Dani was about to retort when she looked at the door and her felt her jaw drop. "Nico! Look!" He followed her gaze, but there was no surprise in his eyes, just approval. He'd known about this? She narrowed her eyes. "You keeping secrets from me again, Careles?"

"Just this one, I promise. And only because I didn't want to ruin the surprise."

Dani smiled. Oh, he'd surprised her alright. He'd also made her heart melt by arranging this. But then, he did that on a daily basis, so that didn't surprise her anymore. She followed the newcomer with her eyes and felt her smile widen when he stopped walking right on the edge of the dance floor. Just in that moment Alicia and Ryan danced by him, blocking her view and having an animated conversation while they were at it.

§§§

He'd spotted her the moment he'd stepped through the door and he wanted to go to her, but at the same time he just wanted to drink her in with his eyes. It had been so long since he'd seen her outside his dreams... So he stopped at the edge of the dancefloor and just watched her. She looked like a fantasy in her royal blue satin gown, smiling up at her dance partner, hazel eyes radiating. She danced by, looking happier than he'd ever seen her. That's when he knew.

This was it. The right time. The right place.

Their eyes met and John watched Alicia's jaw slowly drop. Then she smiled, and there was no sadness, no reservation in her expression. Just suprise and joy. His heart started racing. The song ended end she said something to her dance partner – was that Ryan Farris? – before walking straight over to where he stood.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she replied. A moment of awkward silence followed as she searched for something to say and he fought the urge to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless. This time, he'd leave the ball in her court. "I-I didn't know you'd be here," she said.

"The groom made it perfectly clear that he would hunt me down if I had the nerve not to show up, so... Here I am." He chuckled at her double take. "I'm kidding, Alicia. Nico was very polite when he invited me. How are you?"

She smiled. "Very good, actually. I made a few much needed changes in my life. I live in Manhattan now, can you believe it? Nico offered me a job as his legal advisor and I took it. And... Well, I've been seeing a therapist. Dr. Gunner has helped me work through... A lot of baggage."

She looked down when she said that last part, and John just couldn't resist. He reached out and tipped her chin up with his finger, stroking her cheekbone with his thumb. "We all have baggage, Alicia. I'm glad you found someone to help you with yours. I'm glad to hear you're happy." He dropped his hand but held her gaze, waited for her reaction with bated breath. And wasn't disappointed.

"Even more happy now you're here," she stated quietly. "I've missed you." Then she surprised him by taking his hand and dragging him with her. "Hurry. You need to say hi to the bride and groom."

"Whoa, what's the rush?" John asked.

She threw him a saucy grin over her shoulder. "We need to get out of here as soon as possible. I still owe you a date, remember?"

An answering grin broke out on his face as warmth spread through his heart. "Just one?"

She stopped and turned, her arms coming up around his neck. He let her pull his face in and closed his eyes when their lips met, feeling something deep inside him relax and settle when she whispered, "No... I just want to get the first date out of the way quickly so we can go back to my place and spend the rest of the weekend in bed. Starting Monday, we can have as many dates as you want." She drew away from him slightly, her gaze steady, then said in a clear voice, "I love you, John. I'm not letting you go a third time."

"I love you too," he told her, right before he went ahead and kissed her senseless.

* * *

 **A/N: When I started out with this story, I feared I wouldn't be able to bring the crossover experiment to a good end. But it seems I got there. I hope I did all the characters justice and that I didn't leave too many potholes and loose ends. It's been almost a year since I started writing, so there are bound to be some, I'm afraid. I hope you have enjoyed the ride anyway. I know I have! Thank you all for your support.**

 **This will be my last multi chapter fanfic for the foreseeable future. Not just because both shows I write for have ended and I am at peace with that, but also because I have decided that after three novel-length fanfics it is time I tried my luck writing an original novel. So that's what I'll be doing the next couple of months, at least when I'm not working...**

 **But I will be back, because this site has brought me so much happiness and writing for you guys has been such fun, I would hate to never do that again.**

 **And who knows, I may decide to change things up a little every now and then. You know, by taking a break from the novel and writing a oneshot for either TGW or NR. I have plenty of ideas. Hope you are willing to read them!**

 **Thank you all for reading my stories and especially those of you who took the time to leave me a review - good or bad, I loved reading your thoughts!**

 **Special thanks to Kathy and Barb, who kept nagging at me to update the story already ;)**

 **And to Anita and Elize for being the wonderful supporters they are.**

 **And last but not least to Shelley, who let me borrow her first name for detective Anderson.**


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